29

Pregnant Belly Painting Kit

By: on October 04, 2012
$17.60
Check It Out

I don't know how I feel about painting pregnant bellies for public display. Well, maybe it would be cool if one were painted with waves and then the small human being inside started kicking and fighting to get out and made it look like the waves were moving. Or if the design were a freaky face with big eyeballs and the fetus were predisposed to a career in professional sports and therefore had solid aim and impeccable timing and could make the eyes bulge and contort anytime someone bent down to check out its mama's bump. That would be cool. But otherwise, I don't know how I feel about painting pregnant bellies for public display.

If you do know how you feel, and it's two thumbs up on the preggo artwork, ProudBody's Pregnancy Belly Painting Kit supplies the tools for turning distended abdominal walls into colorful domes of maternal self-expression. The kit's water-based paints are FDA approved, and easily apply and remove. Each palette holds 8 colors--black, white, red, pink, orange, blue, green and yellow--with enough paint to create 20 pictures covering the full surface of the belly. Also included are a belly painting sponge and brush, tips and design ideas, and a sheet of temporary belly tattoos.

OK, I guess I also kind of like that painting of the baby with a tongue ring making a break from the womb. And the pumpkin because it reminds me of pie.

Check it out

Pinky Queen Nipple Lightener (NSFW)

I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like...

Check it out

The Dadbag Beer Belly Fanny Pack

By: Dadbag »

The Dadbag beer belly fanny pack is right up there with the Sexy Chest Swimsuit in its ability to create a fiesta of discomfort, with a few streamers of sick fascination, before my eyes. The Baby Head Masks used to do...

Buy Now

Watch Your Junk - Advice for Expectant Fathers

$9.99 from Amazon »

The best part about Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers isn't that the irreverent guide to dadhood is as fun of a read as it is informative. It's not that it covers topics other baby books ignore, or...

Check it out

YO Sperm Tester for Smartphones

$49.95 from YO »

They've had smartphone attachments that tell you whether or not you're sober enough to drive for years now, so it's only logical YO is coming out with one to tell you whether or not you're fertile enough to make babies....

Buy Now

The Original Egg-Bot - CNC Art Robot Kit

$199.95 from Amazon »

Get an Egg-Bot in time for Easter and dazzle family and friends with your precision-Sharpied eggs covered in ornate patterns, adorable chick and bunny faces, and the ultimate in egg hunters' prizes: a hard-boiled baby...

Buy Now

Liquid Latex Black Light Body Paint (NSFW)

$59.98 from Amazon »

This Liquid Latex Body Paint Black Light Kit is pretty self-explanatory. I don't have much to say about it. Except that, in perusing the image gallery above...I think I found Waldo. It wasn't even that hard. I mean, before...

Buy Now

Menaji CAMO Concealer for Men

$26 - $29 from Amazon »

Dudes, Menaji's CAMO Concealer for men will cover zits, dark under-eye circles, razor bumps, scars, and age spots to make you look like a pretty pony. With a side of fragrance-free so you won't smell like a pretty pony...

Buy Now

Nanotech Crystal Protective Car Coating

$58.92 from Amazon »

Nanotech Crystal on, Nanotech Crystal off. Wax never got your 1948 Ford Super DeLuxe Club convertible as bright 'n' shiny as Rising Star's ceramic glass car coating, Mr. Miyagi....

Buy Now

Dry Erase Whiteboard Wall Paint

$19.98 from Amazon »

From coloring book-style wallpaper to this blood bath, we've seen a lot of ways to spruce up your walls with a personal touch. This bottle of Dry Erase Paint offers yet another outlet for creativity, but this time with...

Check it out

Living Ink - Time-lapse Bio-ink

The researchers at Living Ink Technologies weren't spending all of their investors' money trying to figure out how to revolutionize disappearing ink for the 21st century. They were hoping to develop a sustainable algae...

Check it out

AXIUS Core Workout System

$195 - $250 from AXIUS Core »

Sometimes when trainers want you to engage your core they say things like, "Brace for a punch!" And sometimes that makes you want to tell them to brace for a punch too. In the face. Imagine AXIUS is your new core trainer....

Buy Now

Paint2iT Pro Anti-Gravity Paint Tray

$15.89 from Amazon »

What, you don't like splatter painting your carpet purple--sorry, eggplant--too when your girlfriend convinces you it's a "gender neutral" color perfect for your living room walls? Or spilling the whole tray of paint...