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Iyashi Octopus Sucker Massager

By: on May 26, 2016

Hmmm, what do you think, is that picture Photoshopped? And if it isn't would you consider having a pinky-sized chunk of your cheek Stretch Armstrong-ed a foot away from your face: 1) relaxing; and 2) $81 well spent?

The Iyashi Octopus Sucker Massager is a Japan especiale fashioned like a big rubber oven glove dotted with dozens of little suction cups--or an octopus and its suckers. You can wear the glove suckers-in to massage your hands and feet, or suckers-out to go after sore necks, backs, legs, and, uh, jaw muscles. Japan Trend Shop calls this Iyashi approach "a special quasi-acupuncture suction session." But it reminds me more of this one horrible form of torture my girlfriend made me subject myself to "to destress and encourage blood flow" called cupping. Matches, glass jars, the literal vacuuming of skin and muscle into them. It looks like this during the process.

And your body looks like this afterwards.

Iyashi Octo-Shiastsu now, anyone?

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Axon Fitness Stick with Light Feedback

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The Axon fitness stick, a strength tracker and trainer with LED light feedback, takes me back to my youth. To Happy Joe's Pizza Parlor & Arcade, home of a Love Tester machine? Remember that one? Squeeze the handle as...

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$159 from indiegogo »

Muzo uses anti-vibration technology to turn the world off. (Makes sense, given the number of other devices that use pro-vibration technology to turn the world on--VibeRider, anyone?) At approximately the size and shape...

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Zerobody Anti-Gravity Bed

The Zerobody is a sensory deprivation float tank that removes the one major P in the A side effect of floating: getting wet. (True, drowning is kind of a pain too, but most of these tanks have only about a foot of water...

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Gravity Therapeutic Weighted Blanket

$169 - $209 from Gravity »

The Gravity Blanket is like a big, wraparound, hours-long hug. John Fiorentino created his weighted cover as a therapeutic tool for those who find themselves stressed, anxious, and/or sleepless at night....

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Attack on Titan Super Hard Blade iPhone Case

$38.30 from Strapya World »

It's always interesting when and which Japanese manga and anime cross over into mainstream Western culture. Here it's even more interesting that a piece of Japanese manga/anime has crossed over into real life. And even...

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Neck Carriage Titanium Palm Cap Stick

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Ti Rod Tactical's Titanium Palm Cap Stick might be the most strangely versatile piece of EDC you can hang around your neck. The 5" long x 0.44" in diameter piece is made of an aerospace grade 5 titanium rod, surrounded...

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Kururin Japanese Desktop Toy

$12.99 from Kendama »

Tops, fidget spinners, and now the Japanese Kururin. Why is hand-eye coordination storming pop culture so hard right now? I have many gifts and endowments--huge ones!--but, as evidenced by my attempts to school my girlfriend...

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TheraGun Muscle Massager

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The TheraGun muscle massager might be the non-human massager to end all massagers. In fact, I'd bet a crisp Abe Lincoln it could give most human proffesionals a run for their money too. Tension and pain relief, increased...

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Steampunk Octopus Door Handles

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If Tolkien went steampunk, these giant octopus door handles would make the perfect substitute for a wizard wielding a sword and staff. Kraken says, You shall not pass!...