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Iyashi Octopus Sucker Massager

By: on May 26, 2016
Iyashi Octopus Sucker Massager

Hmmm, what do you think, is that picture Photoshopped? And if it isn't would you consider having a pinky-sized chunk of your cheek Stretch Armstrong-ed a foot away from your face: 1) relaxing; and 2) $81 well spent?

The Iyashi Octopus Sucker Massager is a Japan especiale fashioned like a big rubber oven glove dotted with dozens of little suction cups--or an octopus and its suckers. You can wear the glove suckers-in to massage your hands and feet, or suckers-out to go after sore necks, backs, legs, and, uh, jaw muscles. Japan Trend Shop calls this Iyashi approach "a special quasi-acupuncture suction session." But it reminds me more of this one horrible form of torture my girlfriend made me subject myself to "to destress and encourage blood flow" called cupping. Matches, glass jars, the literal vacuuming of skin and muscle into them. It looks like this during the process.

And your body looks like this afterwards.

Iyashi Octo-Shiastsu now, anyone?