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Face ID Compatible Respirator Masks

Posted: February 16, 2020
Face ID Compatible Respirator Masks

Face ID compatible respirator masks are surgical masks printed with the bottom half of your actual face to facilitate biometric recognition when you're contagious, or in the midst of a viral outbreak. That part is clear. What is unclear, both to me and to the creators of the face ID compatible respirator masks, is whether or not these are a joke.

No joke on that. The masks are still in development, but in answer to the "Is this a joke?" FAQ on their website, would-be makers Resting Risk Face say, "Yes. No. We're not sure. Viruses are not a joke. Wash your hands when you can. And get vaccines when you can." And, I'd add, get in on some microbe smackdown when you can.

If face ID compatible respirator masks were real and forthcoming, they would be N95 respiratory masks custom printed with the buyer's face, such that they work with facial recognition software during viral epidemics. "Facial recognition software" refers to the stuff embedded in your smartphone. And also probably the stuff embedded in every other nook and cranny of public and private infrastructure by your friendly government.

Ah yes, your face and the government. The reason I - and probably Resting Risk Face - believe face ID compatible respirator masks work better as an artistic piece of social commentary than a real product to buy!buy!buy!

On the other hand, I wonder what would happen if me and my friend Cornelius each had Resting Risk Face print our faces on a respirator mask, and then switched with one another. We could 1) give Big Brother the slip CV Dazzle-style; and 2) freak the rest of our friends, not to mention our mamas, the F out next Halloween.

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