73

Boo-Boos Gory Bandages

By: on September 15, 2015
Boo-Boos Gory Bandages
  • Boo-Boos Gory Bandages
  • Boo-Boos Gory Bandages
  • Boo-Boos Gory Bandages
  • Boo-Boos Gory Bandages
  • Boo-Boos Gory Bandages
  • Boo-Boos Gory Bandages

I'll see your kiss it and make it better and raise you a gasp, gag, and vomit up my corn dog and curly fries. Designer, inventor, and gore master Sherwood Forlee makes Boo-Boos, adhesive bandages that will help make your cuts and scrapes better...but also way, way worse. Why? Because, unlike kids today, Sherwood led a childhood devoid of love and sympathy. He was not told he could be a concert pianist because he learned to bang out Chopsticks. His Cs in algebra were not rewarded with cash prizes and homemade cherry pies. And his skinned knees definitely were not met with elaborate dressings and days off school. In fact, if he got a paper cut his mama had the nerve to tell him to stop whining and suck it up! So Sherwood decided to create something that would make the world give his--and now your--injuries the attention they deserve!

Sherwood's major Boo-Boos to fix your minor ones include:

  • Slashing sharp force trauma. [Yikes, ladies. That one's gotta make your vagina hurt.]
  • Chemical burn. [Sweet, I just thought of something for the first time in years: Massive Head Wound Harry. "He must smell my dog!"]
  • Skin ulcer with skin slip. ["It's just a cold sore."]
  • Small caliber gunshot. ["There's no crying in Apocalypse training!"]
  • Decubitus ulcer with maggot infestation. [Mmmm, hope it's scratch 'n' sniff.]

Boo-Boos are sold in packages of 20, which include 4 each of the 5 designs.