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Tombies - Zombie Keychains

By: on September 06, 2012
$4.99
from
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Tom Kollmer sculpts, casts, and paints by hand his creepy, key-corraling zombie miniatures, rightfully termed Tombies. Available in three atrociously undead styles--the Creeper (featured), the Licker, and, my personal favorite, the Boner--Tombies also serve their purpose of grossing out parents and teaching small children who run into you to watch where the hell they're going when attached to backpacks, belt loops, and nose rings. A complete spectrum of keychain colors are available, and at only $4.99 apiece, a full-on, balls-to-the-wall Tombie double rainbow lingers within both reach and budget for all.

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Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

$79.95 from Amazon »

Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

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The Killer Key

$12 from Amazon »

The Killer Key is for law enforcement officials, landlords with squatters or evicted tenants, and pranksters who thrive on taking things one step too far. See, the key blade inserts into any Kwikset or Schlage brand lock...

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Tritium Keychains

Discontinued

Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce...

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Bullet 02 - World's Smallest LED Flashlight

$9.99 from Amazon »

Let's not split hairs over whether or not the Bullet 02 is really the World's Smallest LED Flashlight, when we could have a much more insightful discussion about how the barely-an-inch-long illuminator is waterproof...

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TIHK - Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key

$12.99 - $36.99 from TIHK »

The Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key is intended for use by trained law enforcement, military, and security professionals only. However, TIHK will sell a pair of them to anyone with a credit card and $13. Because that...

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Monkey Fist Paracord Self Defense Keychain

$12.99 from Monkey Armor »

"This Monkey Fist unit looks like a simple harmless keychain. However, in the unfortunate event that you need to defend yourself this powerful self defense keychain will stun and maim your attacker." And how is that?...

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Panny Key Block

$14 - $19 from Panny »

I've seen a Veruca Salt-sized Santa Claus sack of wallet and keychain "innovations" over the past few years, and while Panny may not turn the world on its head like the Coin card consolidator, it's definitely making a...

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Skull Armchair

By: Harow »

Another supervillain yahtzee! This black skull armchair was the one prop missing from my master plan to raise an army of babies and eliminate all cats and bike lanes from my township! The only downside is that it does...

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Shomer-Tec Titanium Escape Ring

$59.99 from Amazon »

Shomer-Tec's Titanium Escape Ring won't just serve as a symbol of your love for and commitment to your wife, it will also get you out of the handcuffs that chick from the hotel bar leaves you in after she Roofies you...

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KeyBiner Carabiner Multi-Tool

$35 - $70 from Fortius Arms »

The KeyBiner calls itself a more refined version of the carabiner, but you might recognize it as a more souped up version of the KeySmart. Both remove some of the bulk and all of the jangle of schlepping around a fat...

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Schnelle Keychain Pocket Tools

$7.99 - $38.99 from Amazon »

Schnelle Engineering fabricates far more keychain pocket tools than will ever fit in your pocket, but if you can pick just one of the company's curiously-shaped designs, you'll be golden and FAA-compliant for cracking...

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Gryp - The Germophobe's Keychain

$2.99 from Gryp »

Germophobes and Purell addicts, get a Gryp. Bacteria and micro-organisms are breeding, spreading, festering everywhere. You can't escape them! But with a solid Gryp on this reality, you can relax, go out into the world...