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Sword Keys

By: on May 09, 2017
$11.99
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It's dangerous to leave the house without a key! Take this set that will also serve as your sword and shield if the gangs...of ants...attack. The Key Armory stocks up fantasy and gaming fans' keychains with iconic swords from the likes of Legend of Zelda, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and Kingdom Hearts.

Sword Keys are sold as blanks in your choice of Schlage SC1 and Kwikset KW1, keyways that match about 90% of locks currently used in the US today. If you're not sure what kind of key you have, the Key Armory has an on-site reference guide for figuring it out. Once you do, they'll send you the sword blank, and you can take it to the hardware store to have it cut for your specific lock.

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The Killer Key

$12 from Amazon »

The Killer Key is for law enforcement officials, landlords with squatters or evicted tenants, and pranksters who thrive on taking things one step too far. See, the key blade inserts into any Kwikset or Schlage brand lock...

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ACME Crates

$150 - $495 from Acme »

I know ACME Crates look like ammo cans filled with manly items of EDC and EDB (Everyday Battle!) but what they really are is...no, wait. That's exactly what they are. ACME Crates are curated collections of tools you might...

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TIHK - Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key

$12.99 - $36.99 from TIHK »

The Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key is intended for use by trained law enforcement, military, and security professionals only. However, TIHK will sell a pair of them to anyone with a credit card and $13. Because that...

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Underhill Home - Luxury Hobbit-Hole

$917k from rightmove »

Now that the British Pound has taken its first real hit in recent memory, you might start thinking about buying up some real estate in England. This 4-bedroom, 4,000-square-foot home called Underhill is a steal at $917,000....

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Geeky Sex Toys (NSFW)

$25 - $199 from Etsy »

Now that Pokemon have made you Go, Geeky Sex Toys thinks it's time you catch some that will make you Come. Yep, the enterprising Australian adult shop went there, and now has a (limited edition) set of Pokemoan dildos...

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Middle Earth Map Leggings

$12.99 from Amazon »

Control Middle-earth--and likely all male Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Dragons, Dwarves, Ents, and Hobbits--for under $100. You don't even have to enter into battle or acquire Rings of Power. Leave it to Black Milk Clothing...

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Eye of Sauron Fire Pit

$643.38 from Etsy »

I bet this fire pit knows some good ghost stories. What I didn't bet was that Sauron moved his Dark Tower to Canada, where he and his Evil Eye now mostly roast marshmallows and try to taunt Canadians into saying something...

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Shomer-Tec Titanium Escape Ring

$62.60 from Amazon »

Shomer-Tec's Titanium Escape Ring won't just serve as a symbol of your love for and commitment to your wife, it will also get you out of the handcuffs that chick from the hotel bar leaves you in after she Roofies you...

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Mini Titanium Katana with Tritium Insert

$149 from Metal Worn »

Just as the Bride conquered O-Ren Ishii with a Hattori Hanzo katana, Metal Worn has conquered the ultimate gift for a geek with their Ti-Katana, a miniature titanium katana sword whose tsuka contains a tritium vial insert....

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KeyBiner Carabiner Multi-Tool

$35 - $70 from Fortius Arms »

The KeyBiner calls itself a more refined version of the carabiner, but you might recognize it as a more souped up version of the KeySmart. Both remove some of the bulk and all of the jangle of schlepping around a fat...

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Indestructible Foam LED Lightsabers

$172 - $383 from Calimacil »

The secret to surviving a lightsaber duel? Use the Force. Orrr...use a foam lightsaber. I know. It sounds chintzy and fake and generally lame. But Calimacil, purveyor of fine foam weapons for LARPing, swears their new...

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The Game of Thrones Collection

$40 - $110 from Black Milk Clothing »

The start of Season 4 may still be a few weeks away, but Black Milk's Game of Thrones clothing collection drops in mere hours. Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and Baratheon represent in an array of nakedness shields...