F*ck the Rain Umbrella
A picture is worth a thousand words. Or maybe just two of our most favorite ones, directed towards the supreme asshole of regular climatological events. It seems like all of our best laid plans revolve around the temperamental f*cking rain--BBQs, bike rides, camping trips, weddings, locking the kids out of the house--which shows up whenever it pleases, and is wholly unwilling to compromise. And sure, all the optimists and Buddhists out there try to put a positive spin on rain, talkin' bout how it's good for singing, and keeps the earth from drying out and eradicating all forms of life, but you know what, that's bullshit. If I want to be sopping wet while reminding Roxanne she does not have to turn on the red light tonight, I will go to hot yoga, and then meet my friend Mitch at the karaoke bar. And if I don't want to dehydrate and die, I will drink Gatorade.
Fuck. You. ┌∩┐
Oh. This F the Rain Umbrella was designed by Russian artists Artemy Lebedev and Anton Schnaider. It has an automatic open/close switch, and, when open a 39.4" protective dome. Length is 11.4".