Previously if someone had asked me how to make bow ties more dapper I would have called trick question BS. You! Can't! I would have exclaimed. Their plaid and polka-dotted prints have propelled them to their dapper pinnacle, which is not only the pinnacle of bow tie dapperness, but the pinnacle of all claimants to the dapper family, including sweater vests, fresh haircuts, colors that complement skin tone, and Sure Fuck Cologne.
That was previously.
But now that Marci Million has introduced the bow tie to chainmail--as in the ultimate in contemporary formalwear meets medieval chivalry--well, whoa. I know bow ties aren't usually comparable to asses, but all I can say is I don't think I'm ready for that jelly.
Million's chainmail tie collection includes silver and black bow ties, as well as silver and striped neckties. All are handmade to order from lightweight aluminum rings. Bow ties measure 5 1/4" wide x 2 1/4" tall, neckties 18" long x 1-5/8" wide. They attach around the neck via a chain with hooks to preclude futile tying efforts.