Fruity Pebbles Pillow

$17.85 - $33.96 from Red Bubble »

Someone named Gasm made a Fruity Pebbles throw pillow, and I agree. What I see before me indeed looks like a gasm of Fruity Pebbles. Fred Flintstone would have a hard time running his footmobile through that mound of...

Ballo Stool

$399 from Humanscale »

Don Chadwick designed the Ballo for Humanscale as another solution to society's growing problem of too much butt contact. Sitting improperly, and especially for too long, seemingly gets a worse rap with each passing week....

Soma Carafe & Sustainable Water Filter

$39.85 from Amazon »

You don't want your water to taste like ass, so why get a water filtration system that looks like it? Rather than stick a filterer of the H20 inside a chunky, clunky pitcher or bulbous faucet attachment, Soma glides its...

SureFire WristLight Watch & Flashlight

$559.95 from Amazon »

SureFire's 2211 is a variable-output LED WristLight. That means it won't just illuminate the time as you walk home from your one night stand, but will also alight the entire path in front of you as you stroll it (or skip...

Whiskey Bullets

$44.99 from Sip Dark »

Settle down and chill your bullets* with some Bulleit, and settle down and chill your Bulleit with some bullets. Sip Dark, purveyor of fine beverage chilling stones and sipping gear, has created the Original Whiskey Bullet....

WEN Snow Blaster

Sold Out from Amazon »

Oh you poor East Coast bastards. I normally have no sympathy for the plight of my fellow men unless their plight somehow directly affects me, but as someone who feels being stranded in the house with his mama and then...

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Kershaw Scallion Knife

$37.36 - $64.81 from Amazon »

Sure, the Scallion Knife by Kershaw comes in black. But the real draw of this high-performance pocket knife? It also comes in...no, not rainbow. RainBLOW. Now I don't know if that stylization of the word is supposed to...

Prohibition Playing Cards Box Set

$125 from Ellusionist »

Gambling. Drinking. Breaking the law. Three favorite vices rolled into one boxed cocktail. With a lemon twist of magic. Ellusionist has put together 6 American classics from one of our most scandalous eras in history....

Edible Greeting Cards

Although these edible greeting cards look a little girly, I am willing to overlook that trait on account of the fact that I can eat them, thereby destroying any evidence I ever received one. Also, I do love me some 100%...

Giant Canvas Teepee

$99.99 from Amazon »

For children ages 3 and up?! Pssshhh. Why would I waste a giant, 6-foot tall teepee on a kid when I can line it with lights, slide a skinned wampa rug inside, and entertain my lady friends? Especially my lady friend <a...

Coolbox Toolbox

$169 from Coolbox »

Hmmm, it appears that a certain cooler has started a trend. And while the Coolbox doesn't have a blender...yet...this so-called "toolbox of the future" does transcend all other toolboxes I've seen in terms of features...

SteriPEN Handheld UV Water Purifier

$79.95 from Amazon »

You can purify your water just like you can purify your laundry. The SteriPEN Adventurer Opti is a compact, handheld device that emits UV light to clean up to 8,000 liters of water. Designed specifically for outdoor/expedition...

9 Planets Ring with Spinning Meteorite Band

Why should ladies and rappers get all the fancy jewelry? John Biagiotti of Metamorphosis Design believes men should be able to get in on the expensive gifts and signs of baller status too. Men like you and me. Men who...

IDrive Military-Grade Local & Cloud Storage

$97 from IDrive »

You can be too sorry, but never too safe. That's why I always wear a helmet, always wear a seatbelt, and always wear a condom*. And I always, always back up. Orrrrrr...maybe I'll start now with this opportunity to own...

P'INCH Instant Ruler Pin

$7 from WKRMN »

P'INCH doesn't serve a thousand different functions. Or even a multi-tool standard 8 to 12. And really, it doesn't even do what it does do at great length. Literally, since P'INCH is a pin that's exactly 1 inch long....

Power Outlet with Dual USB Ports

$23.84 - $27.79 from Amazon »

Logical, intuitive, way more convenient than plugging one plug into another plug before it hits the wall. I wonder how long before all newly-installed outlets will contain USB ports in addition to the standard AC 3-prongs...

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Pair of Grisly Bears

Giveaway: Pair of Grisly Bears

By: Etsy »

Do you hate Valentine's Day but love Halloween? Then how about this twisted twist on the gush fest of lovebirds this year: a blood bath of teddy bears. Click here and enter to win a pair of morbid, gruesome, awesomely...

Death Wrench Tools

$5.95 - $189.95 from Death Wrench »

My favorite slayers of the walking dead over at Zombie Hammer have expanded their market. Now in addition to using their American steel implements of doom to whack zombies, you can also use them to fix a leaky pipe and...

Double Agent Shoes

$165 - $225 from Double Agent Shoes »

Get your lady a pair of these Double Agent Shoes for Valentine's Day and you'll never get stuck holding her purse again. Ahhh, a nice gift for her with a nice kickback for you. That said, be wary if she isn't the most...

MOTA iPhone 6 Charging Case

$35 from MOTA »

iPhones are the worst when it comes to draining battery power fast. Lately mine has always died at the best part of the adult movie clip I've been accidentally streaming too. No, seriously. All week long I've been faced...

Roo Balls Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Openers

$26.99 - $29.99 from Roo Balls! »

Want to be a true baller? Then grab that Triple IPA and crack it open with the scrotum of a Red Kangaroo. Or an Eastern Grey. Roo Balls turns (humanely and legally acquired*) castrated kangaroo bits into beer and wine...

Invisible Boyfriend

Invisible Boyfriend may have just gone viral, but Wish.co.uk--and I'm sure a load of other apps and services--have been churning out realistic-ish virtual sig o's for a while now. Still, Invisible Boyfriend has somehow...

Indoor & Portable Brazilian Grill

$69.99 from Amazon »

Mmmm, Brazilian steak houses. Forget Chinese and Old Country Buffets, these rodizios are the true definitions of gustatory decadence and gluttony. All-you-can-eat grilled meat from the rotisserie, served table side--you...

Wireless Handheld Feather Mouse

$24.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

When my fingers and hand get all tense and worn out gripping a mouse they're often too weak to use for...other activities. So this wireless pointer-pen-looking mouse appeals to me and my desire to keep my right hand fresh...

Genie 03 Watch with Pop-Up Speedometer

$56,800 from Breva »

Rub on this Genie's house and out pops...a speedometer. It won't grant you 3 wishes, but the unexpected component of Breva's latest watch isn't a total anticlimax either. When in use, the Genie 03's pop-up speedometer...

Dolfi Ultrasonic Clothes Washer

$99 - $109 from Dolfi »

Ultrasonic technology is already used in consumer products such as humidifiers and jewelry cleaners, plus commercial electronics that sanitize the likes of medical and dental equipment, so all Dolfi is really doing here...

DynaMax Gyroscopic Core Trainer

$499.99 from Amazon »

Gyroscopes can help you fly drones and track your activity. They can also kick your ass to next Thursday and back. In time for a repeat performance tomorrow. The DynaMax Gyroscopic Core Trainer employs this spherical...

Leatherman Tread Wearable Multi-Tool

$164.85 - $219.85 from Amazon »

Leatherman's new baby Tread, a multi-tool worn on the wrist, is so brand new it hasn't quite popped out of the oven yet. But before you start leaving interminably clever, "This site should be called Dude You Can't Have...

Taco Toaster

$19.99 from Amazon »

Yo quiero some Super Bowl Sunday carne asada tacos! And not the ones from Taco Bell. I'd like to spend my second half glued to the TV instead of the john this year. Also, I would like 12 lovingly constructed tacos total...

Netgear Nighthawk Wi-Fi Range Extender

$149.99 from Amazon »

It's bad enough I have to share a connection and bandwidth with my mama at all. But when she insists on having our router installed in her bedroom, at the farthest possible point away from my basement lair, because she's...

Batman Slap Meme Dry Erase Board

$25 from Etsy »

"Batman, what did your parents get you for Christ-" "WHACK! My parents are DEEEAAAAAAD you sniveling little sidekick!"...

Nessie Ladle

$12.99 from Animi Causa »

She waits. She lurks. She stalks. And then suddenly, out of the depths of my 8-quart stock pot, Nessie emerges. Oh the terror! The foreboding doom! The...hey, what's the Loch Ness Monster got in tow there? Is that a ladle...

Spicy Subscriptions Adult Product Boxes (NSFW)

$19.95 - $29 from Spicy Subscriptions »

Gifting a lady a Spicy Subscription sexy time box for Valentine's Day is like giving her a treadmill in that her use of it will directly benefit you, but way better because there will be less lag time before you see the...

Never Have I Ever: The Game of Poor Life Decisions

$25 from Amazon »

I was just wondering what I'll do to pass the time once football season is over. At first I thought I'd be stuck re-watching Seasons 1 through 7 of The Gilmore Girls with my mama, but now it appears I have an alternative:...

Dragon Wine Bottle Holder

$19.97 from Amazon »

Is it just me or is this dragon holding a wine bottle pretty much, um, adorable? It's definitely cuter than every kid who's ever shown up in my Facebook feed even though I try to unfriend people when they produce offspring...

Neutron S Phone & Tablet Mount

$24.99 from Bungajungle »

Mount your phone to anything. Bathroom mirror. Desktop screen. Back of dude's head sitting in front of you on the bus. The Neutron S phone and tablet mount from Bungajungle attaches devices to most surfaces through its...

Electric Heated Fleece Travel Blanket

$41.95 from Amazon »

This past weekend I had a horrifying experience with the elements. It was 37 degrees outside, a veritable monsoon was falling from the sky, it was accompanied by gale force winds of at least 972 mph, and I was stuck in...

Legend of Zelda Collector's Edition Monopoly

$30.26 from Amazon »

The Legend of Zelda Monopoly? Good luck rescuing the princess in this game that never ends. Trade American dollars for funny looking rainbow Canadian...uh, I mean Hyrulian currency and start hoarding your sculpted Deku...

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Soundwave Personal Voice Message Rings

Giveaway: Soundwave Personal Voice Message Rings

Love letters. Tattoos. Sext messages. All valid and romantic ways to let them know you care. But none are as unique as a ring engraved with the sound waves produced when you tell them. Click here and enter to win your...

The Space Jacket

$265.50 from Beta Brand »

Seems like this Space Jacket might be better suited for the 1960s when going to space was, like, a big deal. But I guess Elon Musk has made things interesting again with his sports car-style rockets so maybe there's still...

Grill It Stove Top Grill

$30.60 from Amazon »

Here's a grill for the inside, which is probably more pleasant to use this time of year than a grill for the outside. And it doesn't take up a fat wad of space, instead installing over a single burner on your range. And...

Pot Minder Boil-Over Prevention Disc

$5.90 from Amazon »

Isn't half the fun of cooking making a ginormous mess? And then spending hours you could be eating your Beef & Fritos Enchiladas cleaning up the kitchen afterward? Hmmm...maybe not so much. One of the top culinary offenses...

Crystal Head Vodka Skull Wall Sconce

$247 from Etsy »

What to do with all those empty bottles of Crystal Head Vodka? I tried sending mine back to Dan Aykroyd for free refills, but it's been a few months and I still haven't gotten them back. So I think Rob of Moonshine Lamp...

Fahz - Your Face in a Vase

$30 - $100 from Desbiens Design Research »

Oooh, a Rubin vase with your very own face to display on the mantel: nerds and narcissists, this Fahz is for you....

Blumoo Bluetooth Universal Remote

$84.99 from blumoo »

A TV-B-Gone kit for the pranksters and boob tube haters who want to shut it down, a Blumoo for the electronics whores who want to crank it up and control all of their home theater gadgetry from the gadgetry of their smartphone....

popSLATE E-ink Case for iPhone

$129 from popSLATE »

Get a popSLATE case and turn the back of your iPhone 5 or 6 into a second screen. Why? Because it's cool looking. It's one more way to show off selfies and photos of your kids. And, surprisingly, it can serve a few purposes...

A Guide to Muscles

$22.32 - $70.68 from ArtSider »

Molecular biologist-turned-designer Eleanor Lutz regularly publishes the science-themed charts, infographics, and illustrations she creates on her blog Tabletop Whale. Here with the "Guide to Muscles" poster (officially...

Gallium Spoon Mold

$67.99 from Amazon »

Now that you know about the weird science of gallium, you're probably wondering what the WTF you can do with it once you've scored a nugget. My suggestion: spoon gag. Slightly more sophisticated than "Pull my finger"...