A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, November 29, 2012
$13 from Etsy »

Mmm, handmade Star Wars chocolates. The best thing to come out of the Galactic Republic since the Intergalactic Identity Management Agency cleared Planet Earth for passports. Nikki Belleperche's Force-injecting variety pack...

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$225 from Etsy »

Epileptics, please approach with caution. Everyone else, behold: hula hoop begat glow-in-the-dark hula hoop begat LED hula hoop begat cascading double rainbow LED hula hoop. This dual-circuit ring o' Roy G Biv is the definitive...

Thursday, January 31, 2013
$18 from Etsy »

Where did you grow up? Where's the greatest place you've ever been? Where did you bury your AC Slater acid washed pleated jeans for safe keeping? Where was your first kiss with Elle MacPherson...'s photo on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? Carry the answers to these questions and more around your wrist with Tesoro Jewelry's custom-stamped Coordinates Bracelets....

Friday, April 20, 2012
$2,700 from Etsy »

She's curvaceous, stunning, and sings like a bird. A little hollow on the inside, but, hey, no one's perfect. Guitar visionary Paul Celentano, who also brought us the Transformers and Pac Man Ukuleles, strikes yet another...

Tuesday, February 28, 2012
$79 - $119 from The Boilerwerks »

The Backcountry Boiler is a portable, lightweight chimney kettle--the first of its kind, according to creator, Devin Montgomery--that gives campers, backpackers, and those with very mild cases of pyromania the pleasures of...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013
$249 from Amazon »

Hey, a chess set that's fun to play with even for people who don't know how to play chess. Umbra brings the world of Wobble to its thinker's game, either to add some whimsy to what is otherwise an insufferably boring, hours-long endeavor, or more probably, so that when a dog or kid plows head first into the board-holding table's leg, its pieces don't fly off in every direction of disarray. Also...

Monday, September 17, 2012

It's what's on the inside that counts. Particularly when the inside is maybe even hotter than the outside. Black Milk Clothing follows up their freakishly alluring Anatomical Leggings with this similarly traffic-stopping Anatomical...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012
$15.99 from GoKeyless »

All those times I bring a bottle of vodka to work for lunch and some d-bag from HR sneaks into the freezer and takes a few swigs like I'm not going to notice? Gone. And, at $15.99, the Liquor Lock is way cheaper than nailing...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$227.96 from Amazon »

The potatoes spilling out of this ribbon fry cutter look delicious. For $100 I would eat them raw. I might also eat them raw if I were sure no one was watching. Easy to load, easy to retract and reload, I know once I start...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
$39.95 from Amazon »

Mmmm I do like me some hot hot wings and some cold cold cuts. I also like the word "soapstone", which reminds me of one of my favorite childhood treats: licking bars of Ivory soap. No joke. It's as mild and pleasurable on...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Sunday, May 12, 2013
$519 from ID Cook »

Those days when it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk or the sun's bright enough to light ants on fire with a magnifying glass? The COOKUP 200 solar BBQ turns nearly every day into an over-easy-on-the-concrete-cruel-bug-exterminating...

Sunday, March 31, 2013
$99.95 from Amazon »

The Automatic smartphone app had me at "always remembers where you parked your car." That alone is going to save me at least 4 hours a week. Its suggestions on speed and braking adjustments to increase gas mileage, instant...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Discontinued

The helmet is a beautiful dense plastic replica of a Thor Helmet with custom stand. The aluminum flame tubes are raised above the helmet so that there is no heat transfer from the tubes to the helmet. There is a simple flow...

Saturday, June 16, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Like the RYNO One Wheel Motorcycle, the electric, weight-sensing ZBoard won't drop mandibles with its gravity-defying tricks or blow off toupees with its unearthly speeds. But it will make for a simple, significantly less...

Thursday, October 20, 2011
By: Youtube

In what is surely a foreshadowing of our imminent demise at the hands of robots, this video details the record-breaking exploits of "The Cubestormer". Part Droid powered cellphone, part LEGO NXT, don't blink, or you might...

Friday, March 8, 2013
$12.99 from Amazon »

This idea of hanging strips of pork candy on the Makin' Bacon microwave rack seems preferable to my grandma's method of pounding cooked pieces between an entire roll of paper towels. No speck of grease goes unabsorbed! She...

Bar
Friday, April 26, 2013
$19 - $39 from Onehundred »

I have my doubts that Pucs wouldn't bludgeon me in the teeth every time I took a drink from a glass containing them, but otherwise they seem pretty terrific. The stainless steel beverage coolers renounce the term "ice cubes"...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012
$75 from Etsy »

Although the shortest day of the year is behind us, we still have two solid months of darkness by 5:30 p.m. ahead, which is really depressing unless you consider what it must be like to walk around with Oprah Winfrey's fat...

Sunday, February 26, 2012
$125 from Tugh Mudder »

What is the World's Toughest Mudder 2012? Think of it like this: there's network TV, and then there's HBO. There's a burger, and then there's a double bacon cheeseburger. There's "'Till the World Ends" Britney, and then there's...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012
$320 - $960 from A Suit That Fits »

Load your lining. British tailor A Suit That Fits makes custom suits for clients that now include the option of uploading a photo or image to be printed on the jacket's lining. Though this probably won't look very remarkable...

Friday, August 23, 2013
$14.19 from Amazon »

I'm not sure whose poor planning skills decided The Snacking Dead: A Parody in a Cookbook should be released after the October 13th Season 4 opener of The Walking Dead, thus eliminating all of its potential profits from themed...

Thursday, January 3, 2013
$10 from Etsy »

George Washington has been picked to rock out. And I'm not even recapping a scene from the next installment of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Which Keanu is one zero away from agreeing to, given that he hasn't had a blockbuster...

Monday, October 15, 2012

I've been holding out with the Soap Flakes. Hoping that designer Nathalie Staempfli would put the wall-mounted and handheld bar-soap-grinding devices into production and sale before I posted them here. Every day I handle a...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011
$7.50 from Barcode Art »

Not quite ready to make today's ironic tat trend a lifelong companion? Or even a week-long reminder that corporate America condemns those with conspicuous body art to careers in food service? These peel-off barcode tattoos...

Thursday, April 25, 2013
$11.08 from Amazon »

Not only is this item called Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce, but it's sold by a vendor named Professor Phardtpounders. How tacky and immature. I want some. Specifically, I want a concoction of Scotch bonnet peppers, mustard, modified...

Sunday, February 10, 2013
$20.56 from Amazon »

You know what contentious pop culture debate on which I have no opinion? Nutella vs. Peanut Butter. Seriously Internet forums? You're warring over this? Each is a transcendentally delicious standout in the world of spreads....

Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Point 1: Crafting traditional sushi rolls requires the finesse and fine motor skills of a surgeon. Point 2: Compact 3D squares of food look way cooler and more Willy Wonka magical than squat cylinders of it. Ergo: Bring on...

Monday, March 19, 2012
$784.03 from Field Candy »

Pop art enthusiasts, soul foodies, and vegan grizzly bears, prepare to have your minds blown. The Watermelon Tent is a fantastically realistic slice of summer's finest, that's more than just a kitschy showpiece. Designed by...

Saturday, February 18, 2012
$19.95 from Pillow Tie »

Neck-to-pillow contact : Kelly Brook :: Neck-to-tie contact : Rosie O'Donnell. Therefore, neck-to-Pillow-Tie contact = hmmm, Zooey Deschanel? Or maybe topless Anna Paquin. Listen, Pillow Ties are not a substitute for down...

Wednesday, April 3, 2013
$28 from David Cole »

Unlike the Grizzly Robotic Utility Vehicle, this nugget of LEGO taxidermy would be way cooler if it were bigger. When I first saw it I thought it was a life-size LEGO deer head and I was like, "Yahtzee! Cornelius is gonna...

Thursday, July 18, 2013
$43.97 from Amazon »

You already stand at the kitchen counter eating spoonfuls of peanut butter straight out of the jar anyway, so why not make the guilty pleasure even more enjoyable with PB Crave's addition of the ingredients you might pile...

Bar
Saturday, April 28, 2012
$4.99 from 55 Hi's »

Greeting cards tend to end up in the trash anyway, so it's about time someone figured out how to send them off properly: in a blaze of tequila. The Shot Glass Birthday Card arrives replete with instructions for origami abracadabra-ing...

Monday, April 23, 2012

A picture is worth a thousand words. Or maybe just two of our most favorite ones, directed towards the supreme asshole of regular climatological events. It seems like all of our best laid plans revolve around the temperamental...

Saturday, November 24, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

One Bubble Wrap Calendar reviewer on Amazon recommends abstaining from an entire month of daily extra-large bubble popping satisfaction, and then at day 30 or 31 (fine, or 28) running your thumb down the whole row of Mankind's...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Suzanne says her Ghost Jelly is perfect for your favorite hotty. I think it's perfect for my friend Cornelius' toast, which I will butter and jelly up for him out of kindness, and inform him is smeared with orange marmalade...

Saturday, June 22, 2013
$18 - $45 from Society 6 »

You're going to have to buy a print, T-shirt, hoodie, or tote bag of The Periodic Table of the Muppets if you want to see the details of this comprehensive compilation of Jim Henson's finest because the Internet is showing...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Apparently, these tchotchkes--Arrow Helicopters, officially--are huge in Thailand. Their tiny propellers, attached LED lights, easy-to-use tautened rubber band launch pads, and relative cheapness (about $4 for a deuce) give...

Monday, July 15, 2013
$19.75 from Amazon »

I think all kids should be given a Chalktrail and told to ride however they want around a big open driveway or parking lot. Then when they've finished a bunch of child psychologists can come in to examine and assess their...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013
$16 from Amazon »

True apple addicts don't have time to slough off the forbidden fruit's skin one strip at a time with a handheld peeler or their fingernails. And while other crank peelers technically get the job done expediently, their clunky...

Thursday, August 16, 2012
Discontinued

The subject matter: 80s and 90s WWF legends. Wrestlers who earned their status through killer showmanship, illustrative identities, and annihilatory moves that, 20+ years later, make them recognizable by little more than their...

Thursday, June 6, 2013
$10 from Lollyphile »

Oh, would that they were made of real breast milk...that would be F'ing sick. But in the grand spirit of edible items simply modeled after choice body parts*, the Lollyphile's Breast Milk Lollipops don't contain actual breast...

Thursday, August 8, 2013
$5.99 from Amazon »

Do you think XAPPR is pronounced "Zapper" as in "Xylophone," and as in "Shoot 'em up with your smartphone," or "Ex-app-ear" as in "X-ray," and as in "Push the button and your ex will magically materialize before you, naked...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The undead beast has arrived. Paul Boratko spent years mulling over and designing his Vampire GT Supercar. Its gull-wing doors. Its menacing front fascia. Its groundbreaking chassis. In July 2011, he began tinkering with a...

Thursday, January 12, 2012
$99.99 from Amazon »

Star Wars fans rejoice. Take your crack at flying the legendary ride of none other than Han Solo himself. The RC Millenium Falcon puts you behind the controls of the smuggler's ship. Although not armed with the laser cannons...

Saturday, July 27, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

If I were to stumble upon, say, a honey badger battling a cobra, or a monkey washing a cat, I wonder how close I would be able to sneak before disrupting the event and getting myself killed. Probably not close enough to satisfy...

Friday, November 18, 2011
$99.99 from Vat 19 »

The Levitron? Sweet. Someone is selling a 0-gravity amusement park ride. I bet you sit on the hovering black disc and try not to get bucked off as it bounces and spins wildly, right? And for only $99.99, you could probably...

Thursday, April 11, 2013
$2,460 from The D* Haus »

Taking a page out of Prince's book during Prince's Unpronounceable Symbolic Moniker years, this transformable coffee table calls itself D*. D'Asterisk? Dusterisk? Well if you rotate it 90 degrees clockwise it kind of looks...

Monday, April 15, 2013
$2,580 from Design Collectors »

Vitra's MVS Chaise, named for its Belgian designer, Maarten Van Severen, applies ergonomic principles similar to those of the Zero Gravity Recliner, but adopts an even slimmer profile and sleeker, minimalist lines to double...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
$8.99 - $36 from Get Up and Go »

Get Up and Go baked goods advertise their delivery of caffeine without the coffee. Having consumed several...in the past 11 minutes...I would advertise that, even better, they jack up my motivation and focus without the puckered...

Friday, May 3, 2013
$13 from Mama Walker »

Mama said WHAT? Mama said 2 parts Maple Bacon to 1 part Jameson for a breakfast of champions. Mama Walker's Breakfast Liqueurs cater to legit drinkers, legit breakfast lovers, and old people with no teeth who must follow a...

Monday, May 20, 2013
$49 from Firefly »

Fireflies seem to be a popular metaphor for commodities of the free market lately. There's the Firefly Blue Laser Lamp, Firefly flying helicopter toys, Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka...mmmm...and our most current personification...

Monday, July 22, 2013
$14.95 - $59.95 from CeramiPro »

The way it usually goes with knives is that they either cost a lot or they suck. (Note: both varieties seem to be equally capable of gashing through my finger such that I require stitches and a tetanus shot.) CeramiPro's Phantom...

Tuesday, February 12, 2013
$24 - $39 from Voy Voy »

This yuppy East Coast trend baffles me. But VoyVoy built-in pocket square T-shirts constitute one I could support without feeling like a pretentious tool. Because unlike numerous layered Polos with their collars up, pocket...

Saturday, July 28, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Remote Control Cooler video viewing is a must. For the dudes. Ladies...don't send me hate mail. (Send it to the Australians, it was their idea.) According to the manufacturer, insulated walls 12" in diameter and 14" high that...

Friday, October 21, 2011
$9.67 from Amazon »

Who could use a radioactive mummy costume for Halloween? An exclamation point on your next toilet-tissue-themed prank? A beacon lighting the way to your Shit Box?...

Thursday, November 14, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Hikaru Sulu: master of botany. Of gymnastics. Of ancient weaponry. Of advanced starship manipulation. And now, of perfume. The logical next step. Excelsior! Onward and upward!...

Monday, October 1, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Mmm, switch plates that look good enough to eat! I crown artist Dogzilla Lives the Picasso of fetid monsters. Her polymer clay conglomerations of veiny eyeballs, gnarled teeth, and oozy epidermal layers make for terrifically...

Monday, June 10, 2013
$38 from The Fowndry »

I wonder if the birds who enter the Death Star birdhouse ever come out. If not, I wish it were a residence for those of the feline persuasion. Or better, I hope the birds do come out alive, but with mutated laser eyes so they...

Thursday, January 24, 2013
Discontinued

If you thought the famously-reviewed Amazon Banana Slicer was the lone solution to your banana-cutting predicament, have I got a 22", tropical-fruit-whacking guillotine for you. Though originally used to decapitate humans...

Monday, June 3, 2013
By: Behance

One of the first things you learn at Carulla Cooking School in Bogota, Colombia is how to use a knife. That's after you learn one of the first things you learn in Bogota, Colombia, which is how to use a gun (and where to buy...

Monday, May 27, 2013
$12.98 - $63.99 from Amazon »

On the one hand, a sippy wine glass is really dumb. But on the other, it is kind of useful, as wine is very easy to knock over or dribble on your brand new Wool & Prince button-up when someone tells one of the funniest jokes...

Friday, March 15, 2013
$52.25 from Palomar »

Felt wall maps of Amsterdam, Berlin, London, New York, and Paris for people who live in or have visited or just sorta like the idea of Amsterdam, Berlin, London, New York, and Paris. All come with 15 push pins for marking...

Saturday, December 29, 2012
$325 - $425 from Roxy Russell Design »

I got stung by a jellyfish once in the evil waters of Florida's Gulf Coast. On the ankle. Yeah, the stories are true. It hurts like a mother. I don't know how Will Smith did it in Seven Pounds, aka The Saddest Movie Ever Made...

Monday, October 29, 2012
$60 from eton »

You know what kids these days need? Manual labor. Because they're lazy. Also, cellphone battery backups. Because they're irresponsible. Also, greasy, acne-ridden pubescent teen years. Because they're a bunch of little narcissists....

Friday, January 20, 2012
Discontinued

When zombies get to your neighborhood Voodoo priest, everyone wins! Sure, he's going to inhale the amygdalas directly from the heads of your loved ones, but as a reward for your assistance and cooperation, he'll convert their...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012
$104.42 from Black Milk Clothing »

Out of this world? How about out of this Whoniverse? Black Milk Clothing's James Lillis ups the ante once again with the Who Dress, a TARDIS homage that would probably make the eyes and jaw of the Eleventh Doctor himself go...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Some evil genius has taken portraits of siblings and fused them together into one person. The result? Creepy, often androgynous portraits of people I'll surely be seeing in my nightmares tonight....

Sunday, January 13, 2013
$12 - $22 from CRL Products »

Never one to pass up the opportunity to protect myself or promote hearing loss, I think I'll take a Cybernetic Research Labs Tactical Whistle in every color. I'll give the pink one to the next girl I ask out as assurance that...