Neon Illuminated Bathtub

$2,400 from GNR 8 »

If Slimer slimed in a bathtub, it would probably look something like this illuminated Jan Puylaert design. Only, like...slimier. But Puylaert's self-standing tubs with built-in neon lighting systems don't look dirty or...

Arcade & PC Coffee Tables

$3,065 - $6,131 from Surface Tension »

Previously we witnessed the introduction of fine craftsman furniture to the old school Nintendo controller. Now we see tastefully worked walnut and oak incorporated into full-on coffee table arcades and PCs. Surface Tension...

Tetris Swimsuit

Discontinued

What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent...

Jolt Concussion Detection Sensor

$80 from Jolt »

"Jolt is a wearable sensor that allows parents and coaches to track and evaluate their children's head impacts in real-time." I don't know why that line is so funny to me. Maybe because I've seen so much wearable tech...

Super Mario New York City Subway Map

$25 - $45 from RIPT »

Pipes, mushrooms, a Cape Feather or two, and it's even a real, useful map of the New York City subway system. The Super Mario NYC Subway Map salutes Super Mario World in its pixel-by-pixel mass transit trek through 16-bit...

One F**kin' Drop at a Time Hot Sauce

$10.91 from Amazon »

In this case, I think that inserting an eyedropper as a serving utensil for One F**kin' Drop at a Time Hot Sauce isn't more than just a kitschy packaging ploy. Reviews of the habanero- and scotch bonnet-infused mouth...

Hollywood Wheels for Hire

McFly! I pity the fool who lives in the UK, and doesn't get Pussy Galore on the road in one of these famed vehicle replica rentals. Yeah, baby! From Back to the Future's DeLorean and the A-Team van, to James Bond cars...

Air-Fi Runaway Wireless Headphones

$44.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

I think we've reached a general consensus in 21st century America on the following: 1) Cords suck (unless they're fiber optic cables delivering us stuff like Ludicrous Speed Internet); 2) Bulky and cumbersome things suck;...

Be a Hero Rescue Tool

$78.99 from Amazon »

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who...

Telekinetic Enhancer

$11.75 from Amazon »

Learn a different kind of quackery...um, I mean brain skill, with the Telekinetic Enhancer, a lightweight aluminum flyer thing that sits on a prong and lolls about in clockwise or counterclockwise circles when touched...

Blue Light Experiment Kit

$10.95 from Amazon »

The Cool Blue Light Experiment Kit teaches inquisitive minds about chemiluminescence and the rest of us how to make our arms glow without killing and dismembering a firefly. Weee! Using copper sulfate, perborate, and...

Zombie Wine Bottle Holder

$23.49 from Amazon »

This dude's been to hell...or at least 6 feet closer to it...and back. He needs a drink to ease his mind. And also to wash down the brains he's about to extract from your head. The Elixir of the Undead Zombie Wine Bottle...

Star Wars Glasses

$499.99 from Gizmine »

But here's the question: would you be able to tell they're Star Wars glasses if I didn't tell you they're Star Wars glasses? Well either way, fancy Japanese marketing and branding are about to bring you subtle colors...

MakersKit Cocktail Bar Set

$29.99 from MakersKit »

Shake it, stir it, strain it, pour it. And bring on Pussy Galore to taste it. Here MakersKit, known for their DIY sets of everything from terrariums to gourmet marshmallows, has a Classic Cocktail bundle for your home...

K-9 Kannon Ball Launcher

$33.07 from Amazon »

This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus...

Mystical Fire Campfire Colorant

$11.50 - $44.09 from Amazon »

I really can't hear the word "mystical" anymore without thinking of Mystikal and his inexplicable squawking of that song about shaking things but watching yourself, but I can look at this Mystical Fire colorant that turns...

Nosferatu Shower Curtain

$72.99 from Etsy »

The makers of this shower curtain depicting a shadowy Nosferatu ascending the stairs to drain your blood and leave you a dead and dried-out heap of sunken flesh...or maybe turn you into a vampire like himself if you're...

HitchSafe Key Vault

$50.14 from Amazon »

The HitchSafe Key Vault: Because there's no better place to stash your singles in the event of spontaneous strip shows on the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Also, it can safely guard spare house and car keys, as well as mind...

Schweddy Balls Peanut Butter Malt Balls

Sold Out from Amazon »

No one can resist Pete's Schweddy Balls. They come from an old family recipe. Delicate and toothsome with a moist, chewy center, Schweddy Balls will put all other balls you've ever put in your mouth to shame. With their...

24 Cans Of Duff Beer

$40.19 from Firebox.com »

Twenty four cans of Homer's favorite pastime will have you snoring in your La-Z-Boy before midnight. These aren't just cans that say Duff Beer on them with soda inside either. They have actual alcohol in them. German...

Silhouette Sense-Enhancing Wine Glass

$29.95 from Amazon »

Though the Silhouette wine glass appears to be designed to make the wine drinking process less difficult and embarrassing for people with inordinately large noses, its true benefits extend to proboscises of all sizes....

Comics Coasters

$35 - $60 from Etsy »

Jason and Katie Lister of Apocalypse Fab must know that two of my favorite things in life are superheroes and beverages that sweat rings onto my mama's coffee table. They've made it so now I can have both. Simultaneously....

Star Wars R2-D2 Bra

Discontinued

Noooooo! As if there weren't enough things in this world to make me horny! Now R2-D2 is getting in on the tent pitching action? Etsy vendor Sceene Shoes, also of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bra fame, shares some Star...

Fruity Pebbles Pillow

$17.85 - $33.96 from Red Bubble »

Someone named Gasm made a Fruity Pebbles throw pillow, and I agree. What I see before me indeed looks like a gasm of Fruity Pebbles. Fred Flintstone would have a hard time running his footmobile through that mound of...

Aero Ti Titanium Chopsticks

$55 - $80 from Eighty-Eight Industry »

Aero Ti creators Eighty Eight Industry went aerodynamic with their chopsticks after studying the physiology of holding typical round, square, and octagonal shapes. When the hand's three fingers merge to grip a pair, they...

Inflatable Pull-Out Sofa

$69.99 from Amazon »

Oh man, talk about livin' large on the cheap. I think I just found my second favorite application of the term bouncy, bouncy. Intex has fitted its inflatable pull-out sofa with a 76", queen-sized width, a set of cushions...

Silent Alarm Clock & Sleep Sensor

$94.91 from Amazon »

Anecdotally, I would describe the LARK Silent Alarm Clock & Sleep Sensor as analogous to the paradigm of getting the boss man to implement your Big Idea by convincing him he thought of it himself. Combining subtle vibration...

Laser Space Cats Leggings

$58.95 from Lovelysally »

Laser Cats has finally made the leap from SNL short to Italian women's fashion. Sans copyright infringement given that these leggings' cats shoot lasers from their eyes instead of their mouths, and appear to be permanently...

Pocket Kick Speaker

$74.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

iLounge awarded Soundfreaq's Pocket Kick its highly coveted Portable Speaker of the Year award. Yes, that's right. Highly coveted, just like the Nobel Prize for Making Shit Up. Buuut...bogus award or not, I have to concede...

Sundial Ring

$25.99 from Amazon »

To use the sundial ring, hold it upright to align one of its 3 reference lines straight up. Calibrate to your time zone by using the reference line corresponding to to your latitude (i.e., northern cities use a different...

Mario Industrial Pipe Lamp

Discontinued

The lamp is a 1" black iron pipe and its fixture is a vintage recycled glass insulator and the Mario hovering above the decorative green pipe is the light pull! Sweeeeet! Mama! I need to borrow 199 dollars. And 35 cents....

DoorBot Smartphone Video Doorbell

$189 - $339 from Christie Street »

Last week I recounted my triumphant tale of Scrabble domination over a girl I once dated. At that time, I literally had not seen...or even really thought about...this girl for at least 3 years. But then I wrote about...

Splash - Waterproof Bluetooth Wireless Speaker

Sold Out from Amazon »

Here's a friendly price point for singing like a nightingale or screaming like a banshee in the shower. FreshETech's Splash Shower Tunes is a completely waterproof, wireless speaker that automatically pairs with any Bluetooth-fitted...

Raclette 8-Person Party Grill

$51.50 from Amazon »

One thing I do not particularly enjoy is sharing food. Tapas and family-style dining, blech. I want my own plates. Further, I want to clean them quickly and then leer at someone who's still got half of their dishes left...

Batmobile Slippers

$15.60 from Hot Topic »

Now that I've watched the first couple episodes of Gotham, I can say with certainty that these Batmobile slippers would be perfect for little Brucey Wayne. Maybe they'll give him more solace in the aftermath of his parents'...

Hanging Geometric Coat Rack

$420 - $1,200 from Rene Siebum »

Rene Siebum made a Garderobe. That's Dutch for Wardrobe. Though in this case the designer's grid of hexagons that manually flip outward to hold hoodies, hats, and other bodily fixin's looks more like our definition of...

Grillain Villain Aprons

$40 - $150 from Etsy »

According to the Protestant ethic, grillin' like a villain is better than chillin' like a villain because even though both involve nefarious characters that disobey the law and wreak havoc, grillin' villains work long...

Back Massage T-Shirts

$22 - $24 from Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever...

Fighter Pilot for a Day

$1,395 from Air Combat USA »

No matter how deep Tom Cruise sinks into Scientological insanity, or how pudgy and disconnected from reality Val Kilmer becomes, will there ever be a red blooded American male who wouldn't put a full nelson on the chance...

Buy Tighe Dual Blade Titanium Knife

$1k from Blade HQ »

This dual-bladed evolution of bladesmith Brian Tighe's Nirk Tighe won Most Innovative Custom Design at the 2012 BLADE Show. Now what I wonder is if the Buy Tighe knife is really so outstanding that it's worth a cool grand...

Cold Rush Injury Therapy Machine

$127 from Amazon »

Fill a bag with ice, freeze gel packs, or let a machine do all the therapeutic work when your knee is swollen or you're rehabbing a slipped disc? I vote machine. Ossur's Cold Rush device is essentially a small cooler...

Indoor Pressure Smoker

$196.97 from Amazon »

Emson Electric's indoor pressure smoker sears, cooks, and cold smokes up to 4 pounds of food at a time. Rrraawwrr! Dinner for 1 is served! In up to 70% less time than it would be if infused with the savory breath of a...

Grilled Pizza Cone Set

$15.79 from Amazon »

It's possible that the Grilled Pizza Cone Set is just another culinary gimmick and general letdown in the spirit of the Slap Chop and Eggstractor, but holy balls nestled cool and dry in a pair of silk boxers do those...

Alice in Wonderland Caterpillar & Hookah

Sold Out from Etsy »

Needle-felted Absolem, blue, hookah-sucking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, you look a little too real for me. If I got high I would definitely try to converse with and befriend you. I might do that even if I weren't...

Gore-Tex Boots

Sold Out from Amazon »

I guess Alpinestars' Web Gore-Tex boots are technically meant for use while riding motorcycles, but when I look at them I can't help but think they would also be terrific footwear for walking on the moon. Aren't those...

PhotoProX Drop & Waterproof iPhone Case

$149.95 from DudeIWantThat.com »

iPhone droppage. Does it occur more often while trying to take a photo? When you're swept away by the beauty of the Trevi Fountain and butter finger the 5s leaning in to get closer? Or when you're swept away by the beauty...

NHL Goal Light & Horn

$47.95 from Amazon »

The NHL Goal Light with horn is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. (Thank you, thank you very much.) Except it has the additional perk of arriving pre-programmed with all 30 NHL teams' authentic goal noises, selectable...

Typographic Iconic Movie Prints

$50 from Etsy »

Art for people who like to read the words and for those who like to just look at the pictures. Pete Ware pours his graphic design talents into this series of swell prints depicting iconic movie characters shaped from...

Airso 10" Bladeless Table Fan

$149.99 from Amazon »

It's bladeless, it's oscillating, it's kinda cool-looking, but, no. It's not a Dyson. Then again, look at the Airso 10" table fan's price tag. Also not a Dyson....

Colt .45 BBQ Grill

$7,950 from Etsy »

Ready, aim...fire up the grill! What kind of meat are you packin'? BBQ with a bang. Ribs that will knock 'em dead. Your shot at culinary perfection. A stallion in the bedroom, a Colt .45 on the grill. Anyone else? Contributions...

Concrete Wireless Induction Charger

It's about damn time the crap my mama sets out around my (fine, her) house and calls "art" also possesses the ability to charge my phone and iPad. O'Dea Designs' Concrete Charger is the first in their forthcoming series...

GoSafe 110 Dashcam

$89.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Record your drive for a safer ride and to ensure sob stories and blatant lies don't get the best of what really happened with the GoSafe 110 Dashcam. Available for $89.99, 35% off retail value, from Dude Exclusives....

Wall-Mounted Standing Desk

They say sitting is the new smoking. Matt Gereghty, for one, agrees. And when the occupational therapist and self-proclaimed ergonomics preacher created this Wall-Mounted Standing Desk he distinguished himself from most...

Life-Size Minecraft Creeper

$400 from Etsy »

Personally, I'd be opposed to cuddling with one of these Creeper SOBs, but maybe Minecraft fans who have better reconciled the differences between pixelated computer screen graphics and real life will appreciate the whimsy...

PetSafe SmartDoor

$84.31 - $130.92 from Amazon »

The PetSafe SmartDoor at least partially solves both the #1 problem with owning a dog, and the #1 problem with owning a dog door: having to take care of it; and home security. Available in 2 sizes, the dog door installs...

Batbane Mask

Discontinued

Why be the good guy or the bad guy when you can be both? The Batbane Mask, by Ministry of Masks, is a gnarly, handcrafted portmanteau word for the face. Batman fused with Bane fused with latex rubber. Does it get any...

Chainmail Bikini Top

Sold Out from Etsy »

Cosplay, Comic-Con, even the swimming pool. Yes, this handwoven chainmail bikini top is waterproof and primed for a summer of splashing, floating, and breaststroking medieval style. All that's missing is the sea serpent...

Tank Slippers

$6.99 from Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for...

WaterColorBot 2.0

Hey, here's a swell way to convince children with 0 artistic talent that they can be the next Van Gogh. Make sure there are trophies on hand too for when the WaterColorBot completes their first masterpiece for them....

Kraken Flasks

$85 - $450 from Etsy »

Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch...

SeaDuction Floating Cabanas

No one complain that SeaDuction's amphibious cabanas are available only at tropical resorts, and not for public purchase, because I know that even if they were up for general grabs, all I would hear is more complaints:...

State Quarter Rings

$29.95 from Etsy »

New York, Arizona, Texas, Alabama, it's time to represent. Brent Emily bends and molds state quarters into custom rings for all Americans, as well as residents of Puerto Rico, Guam, and California, with homeland pride....

Transforming Coffee Table

$1,310 from Duffy London »

If I ever happen to move out of my mama's house, I doubt it will be into anything larger than a 400-square-foot studio apartment, so this transforming coffee-to-dining table from Duffy London would be the perfect addition...

Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Underwear Set

$25.95 - $35 from Amazon »

Being a fan of the Dark Knight isn't necessary for giving two enthusiastic thumbs up and a shit-eating grin to this Batsuit. Ladies wearing a glow-in-the-dark Batman camisole and lace-up underwear set might even turn...

Water Misting Fan with Carabiner Clip

$8.84 from Amazon »

I filed this water misting fan under Style --> Accessories because even though the O2 Cool companion was primarily made to provide some quick and instant relief on a hot day, making it more of an Outdoors --> Tools...

Commodore C64x Extreme

Discontinued

And finally, after more than 25 years, the long awaited update to the Commodore 64. This was my very first computer actually. My dad took me to NYC where he was shooting a commercial for a toy company. They had all of...