A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Saturday, October 5, 2013
$40 from Haptic Lab »

Hey you guuuuuyyyysss! It's like a pirate ship that sails through the sea above. All I need now is an eye patch, a sloth mask, pinchers of peril, and an inhaler and I could be some sort of deconstructed Goonie for Halloween....

Tuesday, July 17, 2012
$387k from Lamborghini »

When the Dark Knight rises he'll be chillin' in carbon fiber, revving a 700 HP V12 engine, and surging from 0 to 62 mph in 2.9 seconds. The Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 makes its big screen debut--and probably one of its...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$150 - $160 from NFNT »

The Big Face Woody. Is the name alone not reason enough to pledge our support of Oahu designer NFNT's bamboo watch? I wonder how many people inadvertently stumble across this eco-friendly wooden timepiece during Google searches for...other aesthetically pleasing things to look at online. The Big Face Woody must have more than quirky innuendo going for it, though, because just a few days into its...

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Here are some problems with not brushing your teeth: brown teeth; hot buttered ass breath. Here are some problems with brushing your teeth regularly: gum recession due to hard bristles and/or overzealous brushing techniques;...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

I know what you're thinking: that is a slab of jerky with the inexplicable addition of dried fruit and a fancy wrapper. And I say, yeah, OK. That's one way to look at Epic grass-fed meat bars. But having tried the Bison Bacon...

Monday, February 10, 2014
$49.95 - $79.99 from Amazon »

Wear this Star Trek-inspired jersey while cycling and you'll be tele-biking to work to save gas instead of actual biking to work and possibly getting taken out by a car to save gas. Just kidding....

Friday, November 2, 2012
$241.12 from Master of Malt »

The holidays. A season of (incredibly long and growing longer) buildup. Of personal reflection. Of getting comprehensively sloshed and drowning the sorrows generated by such a long flippin' buildup and the unhappy outcome...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$27 - $100 from Havoc Boards »

Havoc Boards. Fifteen custom-designed maps of cities, countries, and regions either printed on professional grade gaming board or engraved in solid wood, and primed for your Mark "The Undertaker" Calaway-style total domination....

Monday, September 30, 2013
$4,150 from Bruce Mahalski »

Ladies, who wants to bone a guitar god? Come on now, don't start a stampede. There are plenty of sheep femurs and possum skulls to go around, and room enough on my acoustic slim body for at least a couple hundred of you to...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$225 from Beta Brand »

I don't usually smoke, but when I do, I also like to dress up like a Red Dragon, wear a monocle--in both eyes--and sip whiskey out of my Swig & Puff Flask. I also like when the dragon costume is subtle enough to wear to work....

Wednesday, May 16, 2012
$129.99 from Etsy »

Diablo III saw its May 15, 2012 release plagued by the most wretched of all the Prime Evils: Error 3006. That's why it's always better to stick with the classics. Original issue NES Diablo may be an ancient one by laws of...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
$111 from Amazon »

Dogs. Always wanting to do everything their humans do. Drink beer. Hog the bed. Hump ladies' legs. And while they've mastered the latter two, minus the times a drunk guest sneaks them a few swigs during holiday parties, dogs...

Friday, February 21, 2014
$99.95 from DropLED »

To confirm the accuracy of its name, someone subjected the DropLED Pro Harsh Duty Bulb to a few tests. 300 direct hits to a cinder block. Crushing under a forklift. Placing against the interior side of Drax the Destroyer's...

Friday, January 11, 2013
Discontinued

Christmas: Over. Valentine's Day: Dammit! Still to come. But get your wife/girlfriend/favorite cheese girl at the Whole Foods a Star Wars Death Star Heart Necklace, and you'll both check another gift off your list and make...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$15.74 from Amazon »

Know what sucks about a bacon cheeseburger? OK, besides nothing. What sucks is when you sink your teeth into its crispy-juicy tag team of flesh, and the bacon doesn't break cleanly. When an entire, mayonnaise-laden strip slides...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$67.69 from Amazon »

Great tool for taking your mindless "on the telephone" doodles and converting them to digital masterpieces. Designed for rough concepting and creative brainstorming, Inkling is ideal for the front end of the creative process....

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Described as an Interactive Pool Table System, this really has to be seen in action to be believed. Transform any pool table into a digitally-enhanced video experience. High-definition imagery responds in real-time to every...

Saturday, August 3, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I'd imagine a concern for all parents, but particularly male parents, is having a baby and then accidentally dropping it. Or tucking it snoozing in its carrier under the table at the bar so it will be out of the way, and then...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013
$14.10 from Amazon »

If they were going to craft a Scarface garden gnome aiming an M16A1, you would think they could have also added some Al Pacino droopy eyes and a pouty mouth underneath that Santa Claus beard. As it stands--at only 9-1/2" tall...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$225 from Take-A-Seat »

Obviously the most important element of tailgating is drinking. No one ever forgets to bring beer to the tailgate. Or the picnic. Or the post-outdoor-adventure celebration. We do, however, sometimes forget chairs. Or we use...

Friday, August 26, 2011
$215 from Etsy »

This is 8 GB of steam powered awesomeness. Made with brass, copper, glass and watch parts, the interior glows blue while plugged in. The scoop on the tail flashes red while transferring data....

Sunday, April 29, 2012
Discontinued

Is it funny 'cause it's true? The witty, yet unfortunate Video Game Junkie Wedding Cake Topper is a Cynthia Niles custom design, made to order with a jumbo flat screen, and whatever gaming image, console & hand controller...

Saturday, August 20, 2011
$18.85 from Amazon »

It's been a while since I've done an ice block shot. Too long. This seems like a really good housewarming gift. Tell me you're not gonna be the life of the party if you show up with this thing. And come solo because you're...

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Ok, guys, here's your mannequin. Now all you need is a couple of brassieres and the skills imparted by Gary and Wyatt to send you from single and living alone to Konichiwa, mon amour. I am at your service. This French Maid...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Discontinued

In discussing the Back to the Future DeLorean external hard drive with my friend Bartholomew, he raised a couple of fair questions: 1) 750 GB for $385?! What, is that an October 26, 1985 storage capacity and technology price...

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Guard yourself against hackers and release your laptop from crotchety network admins! Hotspot Shield Elite will protect your private information on public WiFi networks, plus give you access to geo-restricted content. And...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Here's another idea that could have been mine if I had better ideas: laser-engraved business cards with USB drives. For storing resumes and cover letters. Portfolios of design work, writing, and music. Company sales pitches...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$2,299.99 from Entertainment Earth »

My life-size Iron Man statue needs a buddy. Or a nemesis so I can choreograph elaborate sparring bouts for the two of them in my head. Or how about Tony Stark can be my super-ego and this 6' tall stormtrooper my id, and together...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Mmmm... Delicious banana flavored scorpion vodka. I've been dying for some of this stuff. Equally as refreshing after a long run as when you wake up in a shallow dirt grave across the Mexican border. Nothing takes the sting...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012
$850 - $1,750 from Opulent Items »

Lamps and nightlights no longer have the corner on the lava market. Jockimio's Liquid Lava Tabletops comprise two sheets of polycarbonate sandwiching pleasingly vivid hues of liquid that swirl and lumber to the touch of a...

Tuesday, December 18, 2012
$17.65 - $26.77 from Amazon »

Almost as interesting as it will be to watch the effects of my grandpa ingesting 4 pounds of processed sugar a la Slo Pokes, Red Hots, and Chuckles on Christmas morning is noting that, of the wax-wrapped candy treats contained...

Sunday, April 29, 2012
By: Behance

Papilla is a USB (and battery) powered lunch box that will reheat its contents. Turkish industrial designer Burcin Ceren Olcum created it so that busy professionals and people on the go have an option to enjoy healthy, homemade...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012
$39.90 from dbeauty shop »

Batman. He's conquered the comics. He's conquered the big screen. He's conquered Lycra and plastic composites armor. Now, he's here to take on eyeballs. Batman Contact Lenses make their wearers one with the Dark Knight's optics...

Thursday, September 6, 2012
By: Ben Pawle

Though noble, I was very surprised to learn that One-Handed Condom Wrapper dreamer upper and designer Ben Pawle developed his concept (yes, sadly just a concept at this point, though now that it's hit the Web, I imagine...

Saturday, January 4, 2014
$279 from Primo »

Primo is a tangible programming interface designed to teach children ages 4 to 7 basic programming logic without the need for literacy. No literacy? No reading? Pwah! Kids are just handed everything in life. On silver spoons...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$19.98 from Amazon »

Dish Soap + Cast Iron Cookware = Very Bad Cleaning Method. But evidently, Chainmail + Cast Iron Cookware = World's Best Pot and Pan Scrubber. The CM Scrubber looks like a cross between a potholder and the second ugliest shoes...

Monday, December 12, 2011
$30 from Etsy »

Breast enhancement surgery is a major decision every 16 year old girl has to make for herself. Why not give the new look a trial run first while at the very same time keeping your neck warm? Don't think that's possible? Nothing...

Sunday, January 29, 2012
$15 from The. »

All those turkeys who ask you to send them money? Relatives, charities, Billy Graham, the IRS. For less than $20, you can now ship each one of them thousands. And since these dead presidents double as packing material, may...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wedding cakes have been topped with zombies. Video game junkies. Your own face. But have you ever seen one topped with an infinite web of sugar spun in 3 out of 3 dimensions? The Sugar Lab will custom make 3D printed sugar...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
$22 from Amron »

My problem is that I'm so busy trying to Think Big that I often forget to Think Rational. Scott Amron obviously does not have this problem. His Rinser Toothbrush, whose tunneled handle serves as a spout that shoots faucet...

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$59 from SpitJack »

Isn't there a Meat Is Torture bumper sticker out there? I think the SpitJack Magnum Meat Injector Gun is about to inspire its antagonist: Torture Your Meat. This thing looks ominous. Like a kitchen tool I want emphatically...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

While I would trust the paracord to help me in my times of need--jimmying a suspended shelter during floods or stepping in for my broken shoelace during the 3-on-3 playoffs at the YMCA--I have to admit its Vader component...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

For those who believe Oregon is just full of bike-ridin', tree-huggin', farmer's-market-shoppin', paradoxically-Nike-wearin' liberal geeks...well, maybe you're mostly right, but Oregonians also have some pretty wicked creativity...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$9.67 from Amazon »

Now that the kiddos are back in school, wouldn't it be fun one day when they come home to surprise them with wall-to-wall chalkboards in their bedrooms? Chalkboards you have covered in times tables, Spanish verb conjugations...

Tuesday, August 14, 2012
$125 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand, which also gave life to the Dress Pants Sweatpants, now sets its sights on helping you to, I quote, "make a nuclear-fueled spectacle of yourself" with its Reversible Disco Hoodie. Black cotton business on the outside...

Monday, July 30, 2012
$239.95 from Etsy »

Pastiche of 1960s artistic minimalism and Cold War technology, anyone? The Six Digit Nixie Tube Clock combines original Russian New Old Stock IN-14 Nixie tubes with 16 user-controlled colors of LED lighting, and the hands...

Saturday, September 7, 2013

It's the double helix of your literary life. And remember, there's a 50/50 chance its contents will get passed down to your kids, so maybe try filling it with something other than comic books, porn, and smooth jazz, 'ey?...

Monday, July 15, 2013
$265 from Etsy »

I really like it when people repurpose things. Like when they turn shipping containers into houses or whipped cream into bikinis. And although this piston looks kind of angry and dead in its skullified iteration, I still give...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$466 from Studio Toer »

Possible Dome Stool Disclaimer: "Toer designed a stool that gives the appearance of sitting on air." Appearance? As in looks like one is sitting on air, not that one experiences the buttock tactile sensation of sitting on...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$4.95 from Amazon »

At this point, the bacon craze has reached a state of lunacy that renders bacon soda somewhat expected. Pedestrian, even. Still, there are smoky, greasy meat flavors, and then there are CARBONATED smoky, greasy meat flavors....

Tuesday, March 12, 2013
$312 - $412 from Hail Protector »

"Are you tired of being a victim of hail and living in fear of hail damage?" That's, no joke, Hail Protector's opening line. I think they stole their copy from a domestic violence Website. Let's see what else: "...pounding...

Saturday, October 20, 2012
$90 from Nike »

X-Ray Leggings have images of real bones digitally printed on their front and back. With an inexplicable collection of screws, broken femurs, and hip replacements decorating the gluteus maximus side. Oh, actually the explanation...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
$79.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ironically, the prevailing thought I have in looking at the photo of this TARDIS Mini Fridge with the door open is that it most definitely is not bigger on the inside. Look at all that crap stuffed in all willy-nilly (to sound...

Sunday, May 26, 2013
$749.99 from Amazon »

If its photographic depictions are accurate, the Rainforest Rapids amusement park is an inflatable backyard installation suitable for both wet and dry bouncy-bouncy fun, as well as both small children who want to splash in...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012
$3.99 from 55 Hi's »

Ladies, the answer to your age-old question, "What are you thinking about?" has materialized in greeting card format. 78% of the time you query your man about his internal musings, this is the perpetual, 14-word loop running...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014
$49.99 from Amazon »

The only thing that could improve the experience of sinking my ass into a couch would be being able to set my sodie and plate of waffle fries down right next to me. Like, immediately adjacent to my sunken ass. This would eliminate...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$33.90 from Amazon »

An update of theKube, nano MP3 player newKube debuted a few days ago at the 2013 Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas. Improvements to the previous model are based on user feedback, and include an inbuilt equalizer with up to...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
$98 from Etsy »

Using the Roland TR-909 Rhythm Composer as their inspiration, The Puss Puss puts puts (gotta love the low-hanging fruit) its own spin on musically-themed swimwear with the PP-909 ladies' swimsuit. Knob, key, and button imagery...

Tuesday, February 7, 2012
$9.99 from ThinkGeek »

Get ready for the uncontrollable "O" mouth, exhalations of fire, and streaming tears of blissful discomfort only a few Victoria's Secret models, and Bhut Jolokia, the world's hottest pepper, can extract from your otherwise...

Friday, October 12, 2012
$50.95 from Yandy »

Ahhh, a Sexy Straitjacket Costume. The pinnacle of Sexy WTF Costumes--narrowly beating out the Sexy Hamburger--and a fun way to perpetuate the stereotype that all hot chicks are crazy. Why be a Sexy Nurse or a Sexy Cop or...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
$4,495 from Kid Kustoms »

I'd give myself about 40 minutes of pushing one of these hot rod fendered strollers around before dinging and scratching it up beyond recognition from skimming walls and banging into corners. Pushing a kid cart around is so...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$279 from GNR 8 »

The Mirror 180's joined splices allow it to tilt and reposition such that it reflects many a splendid thing. Namely, a more comprehensive view of me. One half of the mirror angles into 3 different positions, suiting a bevy...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$16 from Firebox.com »

What is, a man who ate his daughter's 1st birthday cake without a fork, Alex? No? What is...a makeshift Fraggle mask? No? OK, then how about you just tell me why this man has neon pink goo smeared on his face, Mr. Trebek?...

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$129.99 from Amazon »

The Dump & Punch. That's a better name than Blend and Cook for Cuisinart's soup-making blender. Because if their literature is to be trusted, all I'd need do to enjoy a vat of steaming cream of tomato is dump in some cream...

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

If you're going to give an avocado the Cuber treatment, you must first acquire an avocado. Now I know one way to accomplish this task entails a simple trip to the grocery store. But we live in a paradoxical age of extreme...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$6.95 - $15.95 from Amazon »

Bizarro fiction author Cameron Pierce has won awards for his fantastical, trippy, borderline psychotic tales of what life could be like if we all made better use of our imaginations, and consumed many, many tabs of acid. His...

Sunday, January 13, 2013
$20.99 from Amazon »

You've always known bananas are healthy, but did you know holding one against your face can prevent brain tumors? Apparently, you can also use them to communicate with your mother. The Radiation-Proof Banana Handset for mobiles...

Sunday, March 25, 2012
$34.99 from Battleshots »

Ah, it appears a version of Battleship has been invented for the kids who actually leave their dorm rooms on Friday nights. Battle Shots, in a hilarious act of futility, purports to combine analytical thinking and strategic...