A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Tuesday, April 8, 2014
$21.36 from Amazon »

This is what I'm dreaming of. Swimming pool season. Lazing in a water hammock. Hot blondes in little black bikinis. (The brunette in the little white one isn't bad either.) Over the hump of winter now, I can see it. All I...

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
$25 from Bakery Ave. »

I guess you could make cheeseburger cupcake brownies yourself if you know how to bake cupcakes and brownies, and apply icing without squirting it all over your kitchen cabinets, but I don't. Also, things always taste better...

Wednesday, June 11, 2014
$39.95 from Amazon »

I don't know. I feel like if Salvador Dali had actually fashioned a watch in his likeness, the trademark handlebar mustache would have extended into a horse femur on one end and had, like, a Boeing 747 tethered to the other. And the random ant between 10 and 11 o'clock? Would have been a swarming nest of carpenters. And the watch face would definitely be melting. So as a Salvador Dali watch, this...

Monday, December 23, 2013
$7.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing like the holidays to remind me whose face I'd like to take a giant piss on. PPShots produces Adhesive Photo Protectors--clear toilet sticker designed to house and keep intact photos stuck on the inside of your...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
$10.99 from Amazon »

Everyone loves superheros. Super villains. Super powers. Super tales of good vs. evil. And flashy graphics. Don't forget the loud spectral colors and ripped/buxom exaggerations of flashy graphics. That's the allure of comic...

Sunday, February 9, 2014
$59.95 from Amazon »

They term the type of massage RumbleRoller's Beastie Bar delivers "aggressive." I think you could also call it "penetrating," "effectively deep," and "more painful than a head-butt in the hamstring from a unicorn." Look at this ominous mace of a health and wellness tool. Dig that thing into your knotted back or calf and it's gonna elicit some explicit facial contortions, and possibly some explicit...

Monday, January 20, 2014
$22 from Amazon »

These are just the facts, dudes. Clinical reporting with complete objectivity. Nothing about how Smirnoff Whipped Cream vodka in a Shot Gun is a terrific way to break the ice with the ladies at a party. Nothing about the magnitude...

Sunday, September 15, 2013
$79 from Bosse Tools »

I'm not sure I approve of the Bosse Tools ethos. An ergonomic shovel for driving through dirt and clearing snow that precludes its users from walking away from the grunt work with tweaked backs, sore wrists, and gimp arms?...

Monday, November 18, 2013
$31 - $66 from Sphyke »

Even if you're not an indignant, self-important cyclist with a $3,500 carbon fiber bike and a fat chip on your emaciated shoulder it really sucks when you lock up your manpowered transporter like a responsible citizen, only...

Thursday, January 30, 2014
$11.82 from Amazon »

I kept searching for more at the end of the Guys Can Be Cat Ladies Too book title. Some ellipses leading into a second line of ...if They Want to Die Alone on the Couch with the A-holes, Who Will Then Eat Their Owners' Raw...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013
$9.79 from Amazon »

I chose a pug to help convey the meaning of this Stop Eating Poop remedy for dogs because pugs both mow on their own turds and suck in general. OK listen. I love all nature's creatures. Mostly the human women kind, but all...

Thursday, April 12, 2012
$19.95 from Replay Games »

An unmistakable flamingo pink box harboring the promise of virtual teenage sex pulsated amidst the circa-1987 Target shelves overrun with copies of Oregon Trail and Think Quick. Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
$9 from Amazon »

I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things like...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

Friday, July 22, 2011

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packing right here. I've got four-eleven positrack out back. Seven-fifty double pumper. Edelbrock intake, bored over thirty, eleven to one pop up pistons. Turbo jet, three ninety horse power....

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Isn't everything that isn't a Kardashian bank account or body part supposed to be getting smaller? Especially image-capturing devices. But this throwable ball camera is uncomfortably large. It appears to have the same circumference...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$19.02 from Amazon »

I know at least one person getting Boska Holland's ToastaBags for Father's Day. On the rare occasions my dad is forced to spearhead his own feedings, he likes to make grilled cheese sandwiches. And the way my dad makes grilled...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Discontinued

Having played Assassin's Creed III for a full 24 hours now, I feel appropriately equipped to don a Connor Kenway costume and wield my tomahawk against the evil plaguing my non-PlayStation world. And it's Halloween! Which means...

Sunday, July 29, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Like Lolo Jones and Hope Solo, the Steampunk Combat Tesla Armor's specs and stats are almost as impressive as its cut curves and transfixing beauty. Designer Jordan Edmondson hand-manipulated copper, leather, and brass into...

Saturday, May 12, 2012
$495 from Armstreet »

When I meet a lady, the first thing I ask myself is, "Could this lady best me in a feat of strength? Or, if she's really special, "Could this lady jump me in a dark alley and kick my ass to next Tuesday?" And when I meet a...

Friday, July 20, 2012
$99.95 from ThinkGeek »

While I'm pretty sure the Sonic Screwdriver in remote control form cannot eradicate the entire E! Network or track aliens of the Zooey Deschanel persuasion, it can make brandishers feel like pretty bitchin' Time Lords while...

Saturday, May 25, 2013
$39.99 from Baconery »

And you thought there was only one way to eat, and then shit, gold. The Baconery's slightly more affordable, 23-karat version of the edible precious metal might even trump Tobias Wong and J.A.R.K.'s pills, as it adds two additional...

Friday, July 20, 2012
$25.40 from Strapya World »

On the eve of the Zombie/Mayan/Raining Fires of Hell Apocalypse, Strapya World suggests humans band together, hunker down...and kick off the end of days with a sushi revolution! Men, women, children with developed fine motor...

Monday, March 31, 2014
$35.99 from Amazon »

One of the most popular specialty games of all time, the #2 bestselling board game on Amazon, an average 5 out of 5 stars in over 1,300 reviews, and I've never even heard of Ticket to Ride. Where have I been living, in the...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
$117.60 from Garrett Wade »

Anyone else snicker at the Super-Penetration Shovel's name? Come on, we're all intelligent adults here and, as such, know that the most popular application for the word "penetration" does not involve unruly terrain in the...

Saturday, May 10, 2014
$18.21 from Amazon »

All I want at the end of an hours-long, arduous trek over terrain rugged and unstable is a nice glass of sauvignon blanc. Who's with me? Yep, that's what I thought. Alllll the ladies. It's too late for Mother's Day now, but...

Thursday, November 7, 2013
$160 from 80stees.com »

By the power of Greyskull! No, wait, that's not it. It's Morphin time! Uh...getting closer, but...no. Hold on...ah, here we go. These robotic lion fangs were impeding the movement of my cerebral neurons. Activate interlock!...

Friday, December 7, 2012
$12.17 from Amazon »

Girls next door, meet your neighbor Totoro. And wear him as a cloak. How cute and fuzzy and irresistible you will be together. Skipping down the street. Cuddling in front of the TV. Making me drool at Comic-Con. Totoro is...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$16.11 from Amazon »

The Big Black Book of Very Dirty Words includes a fair number of terms I would use in my grandma's presence. "Auxter", an Irish/Scottish slang term for armpit. "Apples", meaning breasts. "All that and a bag of chips", a phrase...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Usually if beef jerky burns as it travels down my throat it's because I bit off a fat hunk and didn't chew it enough and the burn is due to an oversized mass of dehydrated meat threatening to puncture my esophagus as it lumbers...

Saturday, June 29, 2013
$26.96 from Amazon »

The Corkcicle for girly white and pink wine now has a version for manly yellow and brown beer. After 45 minutes in the freezer, Chillsners insert into and latch onto bottles of brew to maintain optimal ice coldness from swig...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$29.99 from Jamboo Headphones »

Rock out with your co...nscientious bamboo and thread headphones out. Jamboo headphones add eco-friendly materials and stylized flair to what has become a fixture dangling from the ears of many a cool kid on campus, at the...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$63.14 - $70.73 from Amazon »

When you're rollin' (rollin'), rollin' (rollin'), rollin' on the river for enough days you figure out that if you fell in the following would occur:...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012
$6,560 from Weltevree »

According to manufacturer Weltevree, using the Dutch Tub is like "slipping inside a teacup." I'm not sure submersing myself in a vat of English Breakfast has ever been at the forefront of my fantasies, but, hey, these wood-fired...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Hot off the endangered species list: great white sharks...with frickin' lasers! Actually, Dr. Evil's cycloptic sidekick was misinformed. According to the World Wildlife Fund, great white sharks are vulnerable, but not yet...

Monday, December 17, 2012
$6.65 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled by the MY3D Viewer's cheap plastic look and the implications of Amazon's selling it for 73% off at printing. This purveyor of 3D and 360-degree iPhone and iPod touch entertainment has largely favorable buyer...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
$99.95 from Montie Gear »

We're filing the Y-Fork Slingshot under the "Weapons" category because it is built to launch ammo up to a 1/2" ball bearing or .44 caliber lead ball. Both of which could take out a fat rabbit. Mmmm, Hasenpfeffer for Easter...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$56.95 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Even secured inside a Pacsafe, I'm not sure I'd tie my backpack up to, say, a bike rack or a telephone pole and take off on a tour of Prague luggage-free for the afternoon, but I do approve of the eXomesh-cage-and-lock approach...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$7.15 from Sharetapes »

I'm not sure who decided mixtapes were in need of a resurgence, but to whomever it was, congratulations. The Aussies were listening. And they've added upgrades in the form of NFC chips, QR codes, and the removal of old-school...

Saturday, December 29, 2012
$7.95 from Amazon »

Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
$35 from HALO »

That bunny rabbit in the red HALO pet collar might be the cutest non-human woman I have ever seen. Even cuter than that Pomeranian with its own product line that disgruntles me by way of melting my heart every time I see it....

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...

Friday, January 10, 2014
$89.95 from Amazon »

The InaTrap Insect Killer won the 2012 Taiwan Excellence Award. I wonder if it was the sole champion. Like, if nothing else in the entirety of 2012 Taiwan was more excellent than a bug destroyer (with night light!) I hope...

Saturday, April 6, 2013

A few years ago, Portuguese carpenter Carlos Alberto became the Best Dad in the World--not just an imposter Best Dad in the World who wears the T-shirt and flashes the mug--when he carved his daughter Daniela a Vespa-styled...

Thursday, December 29, 2011
$72.52 from Amazon »

Time to go through your closet and dig out all of those classic super nintendo games. You knew there was a reason not to give those to charity. Told you mom! The Supaboy Pocket SNES is essentially a gameboy for your old super...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$399 - $999 from Amazon »

This visual sales pitch for the Chilipad, a mattress cover that can cool or heat his and her respective halves of the bed, might be my favorite photo I've seen all summer, and no one is even naked or wielding a sword or dressed...

Wednesday, June 4, 2014
$17.68 from Amazon »

While I don't like the allusion to a snake in this product's title, the Flex Cobra personal mister is an otherwise grand addition to the high heat of summer. They had to pick a poisonous one with ear flaps too, didn't they?...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$1,799 - $3,499 from Elliptigo »

If you thought the future was incubating in the frames of Google Glass and laces of Marty McFly Nikes, then behold the offspring of the gym's dorkiest piece of cardio equipment and urbanity's most aggressive sharer of the...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$299 - $1,999 from i'm Smart »

In 5 words or less: Italian-made Android wrist candy. i'm Watch pours smartphone functionality--from calls to texts to calendars to apps--into a sleek personal effect forged from your choice of aluminum, titanium, gold, or...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Secured to the ground at one end, and by a string dangling from the hand of God at the other, The Balancing Barn is a heavenly retreat located on the edge of a tranquil nature reserve a few miles inland from the Suffolk coast....

Thursday, May 16, 2013
$28 from Etsy »

Designer Samantha Ulrich calls this her Googly Eyed Monster Mug, I guess due to Sesame Street's having a corner on the market of using the words "Cookie" and "Monster" consecutively. Which, on the one hand, is kind of BS seeing...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Here's Gotham City burning slowly to the ground. And off-gassing oozy Penguin blood in the process. And a few doors down, the skyscrapers of the capital of Candy Land are suffering the same fate. Up in flames and melting into...

Friday, March 28, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

One thing I like to do is buy stuff. A lot of this stuff requires a charger. And none of it--none of it!--ever seems to require the same charger. Anker's compact and tidy 5-port USB charger claims to have enough ports, both...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
$69 from Wisteria »

Your kids haven't quite turned out how you expected to be. With aspirations of raising NFL quarterbacks and Rhodes Scholars quickly fading, you'd just like to avoid having a felon living underneath your roof. And while you...

Sunday, February 23, 2014
$36.95 from BeerShorts »

Cold beers, cold thighs, elastic waist to accommodate the intake of fried things with your Buds and Coors, what more could you ask for in a pair of shorts? Beershorts' pair of built-in koozies not only eliminate the tedious...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$56 - $112 from Edge of Belgravia »

It's cool how one color option for these ceramic knives is Zombie-Slaying Green, so I can pretend I'm hacking up the flesh and bones of the undead each time I try to slice an onion without crying like the doctor just slapped...

Monday, February 3, 2014
$89.95 from Amazon »

Great. I always tell my mama that as soon as someone makes it so I can just wave a magic wand to get the job done I'll gladly help her clean the house. I never thought a magic wand that cleans the house was a legitimate possibility....

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$5.13 from Amazon »

Oh hello Cthulhu. I almost didn't see you there before I turned on my flashlight. Well, technically LED underwater torch. TOMTOP made it 100% waterproof and effective at illuminating up to 25 meters of ocean pathway. It weighs...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$1,650 - $1,750 from Squirrel »

Skydiving, BASE jumping, walking down the street: success in these extreme adventures isn't so much about having skills and balls as it is about having the right gear. For example, when I walk down the street, I just make...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
$5.99 from Amazon »

Hey, it's a lock back Key Knife for all of my knifely pursuits, such as opening my fan mail, defending myself against my neighbor's deceptively aggressive Havanese, and slicing through vacuum packs of PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Giveaway: HooToo TripMate Wireless Travel Router 57
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
$49.99 from Amazon »

Enter to win a HooToo Tripmate and turn your wired network wireless on the go for Internet access by multiple devices, file sharing, and, when batteries get low, a backup power bank. Read on to learn more about the portable...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down, and Bodice Rockers fall down but they get right back up and stand just as tall as they did before. So I guess they're more similar to Rocky Balboa than Weebles. But they're not fighters...

Friday, October 26, 2012

Nothing like a little colorful latex with cockamamie explanations of what you did to require bandage coverage to make paper cuts, minor dicing mishaps, and drunken tumbles look a little more admirable. Each box of What Happened?...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$79 - $100 from LiddUp »

The LiddUp cooler's interior LED lining caters to bonfires, backyard BBQs, campsites, and anywhere else high on the drinking but low on the lighting levels normally present to assist partiers in determining what exactly they're...

Monday, August 27, 2012
$12.55 from Amazon »

Well I for one would much rather open up a sardine can to find a Zombie Apocalypse survival kit containing 25 items for use in fending solo in the face of the end of days than a malodorous row of actual sardines. This sardine...

Thursday, January 23, 2014
$9.52 from Amazon »

From amidst the screams and chaos, the tension and the trash talk, the chili cheese dip and the chicken wings, a lone zombie hand breaks the surface. Rises up from the pooled blood of Mary. And what's this? Is it parading...