A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014
$39.97 from Amazon »

Vampire Professional Tools, first of Vampliers screw pliers and now of the Super Combo Scissors, should have hired the same person to name the latter who they did to coin the former. Or they should have hired me. I would have...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$78.99 from Amazon »

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who do little...

Monday, April 2, 2012

The Cybertecture Mirror allows us to gaze simultaneously upon the two things we like gazing upon best: the Internet and ourselves. A glass reflection of both beatific mugs, and streaming Web content, the futuristic mirror is almost eerie. Like a solid nudge towards Total Recall territory. Like kinda makes you wonder if maybe all that "road construction" isn't really the foundation for an atmospheric...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012
$109.99 from GearUp »

"Crovel", like "spork", is a portmanteau word. It combines "Shovel" and "Crap! I'm gonna get impaled, sawed, and scooped all at once!" GearUp's latest in a respectable line of survival tools, the Crovel Tactical weighs only...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$1k from Blade HQ »

This dual-bladed evolution of bladesmith Brian Tighe's Nirk Tighe won Most Innovative Custom Design at the 2012 BLADE Show. Now what I wonder is if the Buy Tighe knife is really so outstanding that it's worth a cool grand...

Saturday, September 27, 2014
$14 from MixedMade »

I'm not sure I can wrap my head around the implications--the glorious, glorious implications--of what essentially amounts to the honey bear being left alone with the Sriracha rooster in a kitchen cabinet for too long. Bees Knees Honey is a chili-infused spicy honey that can sub in for anything from hot sauce to Hershey's Syrup....

Saturday, November 2, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I guess Alpinestars' Web Gore-Tex boots are technically meant for use while riding motorcycles, but when I look at them I can't help but think they would also be terrific footwear for walking on the moon. Aren't those even...

Saturday, November 30, 2013
$25.99 from Amazon »

To use the sundial ring, hold it upright to align one of its 3 reference lines straight up. Calibrate to your time zone by using the reference line corresponding to to your latitude (i.e., northern cities use a different line...

Saturday, May 17, 2014
$59 from The Fowndry »

TIE Fighters may be fragile, but they're strong enough to crush your nuts. Rebel pecans, Jedi almonds, your only escape now is through my GI tract!...

Friday, May 11, 2012
$139 from Tokyo Flash »

And the best part is, no one will ever suspect it's a watch! The Kisai 7 LED watch is another trippy, limited edition Tokyoflash creation, with two rings and two L-bars of searing blue pronouncing the hours and minutes of...

Friday, June 28, 2013
$11.50 - $44.09 from Amazon »

I really can't hear the word "mystical" anymore without thinking of Mystikal and his inexplicable squawking of that song about shaking things but watching yourself, but I can look at this Mystical Fire colorant that turns...

Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Well I guess I better get my mama this InstantVeg Spiralizer for Christmas if I want her to keep making me curly shoestring french fries and zucchini spaghetti on my low-carb days (i.e., every 17th Sunday). See I got her this...

Saturday, January 11, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Here's a friendly price point for singing like a nightingale or screaming like a banshee in the shower. FreshETech's Splash Shower Tunes is a completely waterproof, wireless speaker that automatically pairs with any Bluetooth-fitted...

Monday, March 5, 2012
$90 from Shapeways »

Still wish you could put a face to the name? This visual interpretation of omniscient audio-lord of the iPhone, Siri, was SaGa Design's entry into the Siri Design competition, and can now be part of your iPhone cover collection--and...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$12.95 from Amazon »

The Cool Blue Light Experiment Kit teaches inquisitive minds about chemiluminescence and the rest of us how to make our arms glow without killing and dismembering a firefly. Weee! Using copper sulfate, perborate, and luminol...

Thursday, May 23, 2013
$31.25 from Amazon »

This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus and...

Monday, February 24, 2014
$9.99 from Amazon »

I don't know. Usually if I can't clean something because it's too narrow...or otherwise difficult to de-soil in any way whatsoever...I just throw it away and get a new one. Yeah right, you say? Well...yeah, you are right....

Friday, January 24, 2014
$1,310 from Duffy London »

If I ever happen to move out of my mama's house, I doubt it will be into anything larger than a 400-square-foot studio apartment, so this transforming coffee-to-dining table from Duffy London would be the perfect addition...

Friday, April 27, 2012
Discontinued

What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent teenagers...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014
$44.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Get the XiStera 8-in-1 iPhone Multitool for 35% off its retail price of $70. Just $44.99 from the Dude Exclusives online store for a limited time....

Sunday, May 25, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

I know. I'm thinking it too. Boy is that a huge beach towel. And boy to the power of a hundred does that lady look lonely lying on it all by herself. What happens when she gets up to cool off and splash around adorably in...

Friday, February 10, 2012
$3,499 from LifeGem »

From ashes to ashes...to bedazzled ashes. Gone are the days of keeping the deceased in our hearts. In their place? Keeping the deceased around our fingers, atop our wrists, or dangling from our necks. LifeGem diamonds are...

Monday, March 19, 2012

McFly! I pity the fool who lives in the UK, and doesn't get Pussy Galore on the road in one of these famed vehicle replica rentals. Yeah, baby! From Back to the Future's DeLorean and the A-Team van, to James Bond cars and...

Monday, November 26, 2012
$50.15 from Amazon »

The HitchSafe Key Vault: Because there's no better place to stash your singles in the event of spontaneous strip shows on the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Also, it can safely guard spare house and car keys, as well as mind small...

Sunday, October 7, 2012
$499.99 from Gizmine »

But here's the question: would you be able to tell they're Star Wars glasses if I didn't tell you they're Star Wars glasses? Well either way, fancy Japanese marketing and branding are about to bring you subtle colors and trademark...

Monday, April 29, 2013
$58.95 from Lovelysally »

Laser Cats has finally made the leap from SNL short to Italian women's fashion. Sans copyright infringement given that these leggings' cats shoot lasers from their eyes instead of their mouths, and appear to be permanently...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$22 - $24 from Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever craft...

Wednesday, December 3, 2014
$16.77 from Amazon »

Proof: Booze Makes Everything Better. No, not really. Well I mean, yes, that's really true of course, but it's not really the name of the book. Proof: The Science of Booze is its accurate title. But I'm pretty sure that inside...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013
$55 - $80 from Eighty-Eight Industry »

Aero Ti creators Eighty Eight Industry went aerodynamic with their chopsticks after studying the physiology of holding typical round, square, and octagonal shapes. When the hand's three fingers merge to grip a pair, they create...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$40 - $150 from Etsy »

According to the Protestant ethic, grillin' like a villain is better than chillin' like a villain because even though both involve nefarious characters that disobey the law and wreak havoc, grillin' villains work long and...

Monday, June 23, 2014
$12.06 from Amazon »

Rafting? Fishing? Boating? Bending over a toilet? Don't lose your sunglasses to the laws of density again! BlueWater's floating sunglasses have both a lightweight frame and neoprene foam lining to guarantee they won't sink...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013
$189 - $339 from Christie Street »

Last week I recounted my triumphant tale of Scrabble domination over a girl I once dated. At that time, I literally had not seen...or even really thought about...this girl for at least 3 years. But then I wrote about her competitiveness...

Thursday, June 13, 2013

It's about damn time the crap my mama sets out around my (fine, her) house and calls "art" also possesses the ability to charge my phone and iPad. O'Dea Designs' Concrete Charger is the first in their forthcoming series of...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014
$79.99 from Leggage »

A laptop case for frequent travelers, the few inches of of tipi-ed bulk Leggage adds to its frame says it will elevate, massage, and assuage your restless feet and legs during miserable, interminable flights (i.e., all flights)....

Thursday, July 12, 2012
$94.91 from Amazon »

Anecdotally, I would describe the LARK Silent Alarm Clock & Sleep Sensor as analogous to the paradigm of getting the boss man to implement your Big Idea by convincing him he thought of it himself. Combining subtle vibration...

Thursday, September 4, 2014
$28.69 from Amazon »

Where is he? Where's Slimer? Cornelius, do you see him? ... What, he's on my, what? He's...awww, sick, dude. Note to all: getting slimed with ectoplasm secretions from the world's most gluttonous ghost is way worse than getting...

Tuesday, December 2, 2014
$45 - $65 from Etsy »

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. We'll wash it down with my flask of Remy Martin....

Friday, September 12, 2014
$99.99 from Amazon »

iLounge named G-Project's G-BOOM Bluetooth boombox “Speaker of the Year” in 2013, which I'm pretty sure is the audio equipment equivalent of Time giving Pope Francis Man of the Year. It's a pretty damn awesome and powerful...

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$399.95 from Amazon »

Bell hasn't been making helmets for quite as long as people have been smashing their heads open as a result of not wearing one, but 60 years is still a landmark achievement. The company released its first Bell Star helmet...

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Wednesday, July 2, 2014
$15 from Amazon »

This is the most kind-hearted shark there is. Before he attacks and eats you, he's going to get you drunk. Beer or wine, my friend?...

Sunday, July 20, 2014
$15.95 from Amazon »

Another concoction from Drinkwel, makers of the multi-vitamin for drinkers, LyteShow seeks to expand its audience with this highly concentrated, rapid rehydration electrolyte formula. Don't worry, that doesn't mean hardcore...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011
$40.19 from Firebox.com »

Twenty four cans of Homer's favorite pastime will have you snoring in your La-Z-Boy before midnight. These aren't just cans that say Duff Beer on them with soda inside either. They have actual alcohol in them. German lager...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$59.99 from Amazon »

Star Wars gets an entire series of transforming vaults revealing the histories and dogmas of its most famous characters, so it only makes sense that a legendary hero with an equally illustrious past--plus the actual ability...

Monday, June 17, 2013
Discontinued

Noooooo! As if there weren't enough things in this world to make me horny! Now R2-D2 is getting in on the tent pitching action? Etsy vendor Sceene Shoes, also of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bra fame, shares some Star Wars...

Thursday, January 17, 2013
$50 from Etsy »

Art for people who like to read the words and for those who like to just look at the pictures. Pete Ware pours his graphic design talents into this series of swell prints depicting iconic movie characters shaped from the typography...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014
$79.99 from Amazon »

I don't see anything octo about the design and configuration of this Octomask with a built-in GoPro camera mount. Except maybe that 8 seconds is the amount of time I spent looking at it for clues before I got bored and then...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014
$7.85 from Amazon »

Slice makes kinder, gentler tools in soothing hues to perform some of life's rigorous and thankless tasks. Such as opening boxes and impossibly-sealed packages. Hacking through shrink-wrap. Clipping coupons. At least those...

Monday, November 19, 2012
Discontinued

Why be the good guy or the bad guy when you can be both? The Batbane Mask, by Ministry of Masks, is a gnarly, handcrafted portmanteau word for the face. Batman fused with Bane fused with latex rubber. Does it get any better?...

Wednesday, February 15, 2012
$1,395 from Air Combat USA »

No matter how deep Tom Cruise sinks into Scientological insanity, or how pudgy and disconnected from reality Val Kilmer becomes, will there ever be a red blooded American male who wouldn't put a full nelson on the chance to...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013
$32.79 from Firebox.com »

I know grizzly bears are meant to connote fortitude, ferocity, and...bigness...in a reverential way, but, uh, I'm pretty sure these grizzly bear underwear are intended only for dudes who don't want blowjobs. They could also...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013
$69.95 from Amazon »

When it comes to pants positioning, waistline aesthetics, and--most importantly--gut comfort, 1/4" can make a huge difference. Traklines banish the meager five, 1"-spaced holes of traditional belts from their full-grain leather...

Sunday, July 8, 2012
$16.66 from Amazon »

It's possible that the Grilled Pizza Cone Set is just another culinary gimmick and general letdown in the spirit of the Slap Chop and Eggstractor, but holy balls nestled cool and dry in a pair of silk boxers do those pepperoni...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
$12.95 from Amazon »

One reviewer notes that Introductory Calculus for Infants reads exactly as advertised, except that it won't teach your baby--or you--how to do calculus. She goes on to opine that all who actually expect a children's book to...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$400 from Etsy »

Personally, I'd be opposed to cuddling with one of these Creeper SOBs, but maybe Minecraft fans who have better reconciled the differences between pixelated computer screen graphics and real life will appreciate the whimsy...

Tuesday, March 25, 2014
$34.99 from Amazon »

Who wants to try the Aquapod bottle launcher in their backyard? It shoots water-filled 2L sodie bottles up to 100 feet in the air with the assistance of nothing but its dock, a bike pump, and your foot. Got a beef with the...

Sunday, March 23, 2014
$16.23 from Amazon »

Well I know I would like a Batman mini pizza and some Martian Manhunter cupcakes for lunch today. And The Official DC Super Hero Cookbook says it is suitable for use by people ages 6 and up, so even if my mama refuses to make...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013
$899 from Wine Enthusiast »

What better place to store the beer, bubbles, sodie, and elves for your holiday parties this season than a massive reclaimed wine barrel? The 36" high x 26" wide x 26" deep fermented grape monster can hold up to 100 pounds...

Wednesday, October 8, 2014
$29.19 - $39.95 from Amazon »

While candy can at times transcend the Forces of good and evil, as with the Yoda candy bowl holder, it's mostly all evil. That's why the majority of the Star Wars characters doling out Halloween treats are from the Dark Side....

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$69.90 from Amazon »

Oh man, talk about livin' large on the cheap. I think I just found my second favorite application of the term bouncy, bouncy. Intex has fitted its inflatable pull-out sofa with a 76", queen-sized width, a set of cushions that...

Friday, April 5, 2013
Discontinued

The lamp is a 1" black iron pipe and its fixture is a vintage recycled glass insulator and the Mario hovering above the decorative green pipe is the light pull! Sweeeeet! Mama! I need to borrow 199 dollars. And 35 cents. No...

Friday, April 5, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Needle-felted Absolem, blue, hookah-sucking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, you look a little too real for me. If I got high I would definitely try to converse with and befriend you. I might do that even if I weren't...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$19.95 from Amazon »

Everyone knows that pigs don't sweat. But if they did, they would smell like Power Bacon. And now too so can you. Just be sure to apply the deodorant with caution. Because while obviously nothing attracts the favor of a lady...

Saturday, June 16, 2012
$175 from Etsy »

Cosplay, Comic-Con, even the swimming pool. Yes, this handwoven chainmail bikini top is waterproof and primed for a summer of splashing, floating, and breaststroking medieval style. All that's missing is the sea serpent raft...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014
$50 from Amazon »

Turn discomfort into practicality. You might be stifled in a pressed button-up all day long, but at least with Titan's Multi-Tool Collar Stays you'll be able to pop open a beer at the end of it with the stealth and swagger...

Sunday, July 7, 2013
$18.86 from Amazon »

What time is it? Let me check my Secret Agent projection gun alarm clock. Shoot! It's time to get up....

Tuesday, September 25, 2012
$6.99 from Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for the...

Saturday, April 5, 2014
$78.35 from Amazon »

Though not yet skilled enough to earn itself Ninja status, the Turtle Shell Bluetooth speaker does amount to more than your average armored reptile. Shockproof, dust-proof, and water-resistant even through a heavy rain, the...

Monday, January 6, 2014
$60 from Sabrina Fossi »

Now when you say "ToastyMUG," Sabrina Fossi, do you really mean toasty? Like, warm and soul-soothing? Or do you actually mean scorching and my choice of second degree finger burns or dropping the mug and spilling its steaming...