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Folding Beach Chair & Roller Cart

$81.99 from Amazon »

This folding beach chair and roller cart has it all: room for your gear and room for your rear. Fishermen, beachgoers, and festival regulars can haul their blankets, coolers, and other outing necessities (i.e., fiber...

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The Wonder Cart Table & Beach Cart

$44.72 from Amazon »

Calling this beach gear cart and table combo The Wonder Cart might be a bit of an overstatement. Sure, it's handy to be able to use the carrier to schlep all your towels and floats to the perfect spot, and then flip it...

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Simba Blue Smart Beach Lounger

By: Simba »

The Simba Blue beach lounger is the smart, relaxing, ultra-lazy result of a partnership between the snoozers at Simba Sleep and the beach bums the Blue Marlin resort in Ibiza. Combining Simba's layers of responsive memory...

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Alligator Beach Towel Anchor Stakes

Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't know if these Beach Towel Anchor Stakes are alligators or crocodiles, but I do know they look ready to take a bite out of some terry cloth, and tell the wind to Blow it! this summer....

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Pro-Pointer Waterproof Metal Detector

$127.45 from Amazon »

Frisbee? Volleyball? Flexing? Pssshhh! If you really want to impress the ladies on the beach this summer, find them a precious metal nugget from the ocean with Garrett's Pro Pointer AT Metal Detector. The underwater treasure...

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Monster Towel - World's Biggest Beach Towel

$89.95 from Amazon »

Why have a threesome when you can have a fivesome? The Monster Towel is the World's Orgy-est Beach Towel! Oh, uh, I mean, the World's Biggest Beach Towel! At least that's what the people who make the 10' x 10' Monster...

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Panama Banana Lounger & Soccer Goal

Net a few kicks with the round one, and then recover from the exertion with the cold one in Agota Rimsaite's Panama Banana, a soccer goal that turns 90 degrees into a hammock-style rocking lounger. Throw in a side of...

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Sport-Brella Recliner Chair

$59.99 - $69.95 from Amazon »

Recline, chillax, drink up, and avoid the sun squints. The Sport-Brella Recliner Chair packs a lot of perks into its outdoor lounger. In addition to the same olds of folding portability and weather-resistant construction...

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Cheeseburger Beach Towel

$24.99 from Amazon »

Time to grease up for the beach. I started the day out with tacos, and now I'm ending it with cheeseburgers. I must be hungry today. Or, more likely--given what the taco's used for and what's on top of this cheeseburger...

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Sand Escape Compact Beach Blanket

$29.99 from Amazon »

Big enough for the whole family, compact enough for the 4-year-old to carry. Seriously. It's time little Joey learned to start pulling his weight....

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The SunDen Smart Rig & Cooler

$100 - $299 from SunDen »

Your wingman for summer has arrived. Well...its crowdfunding campaign has anyway. Like the Coolest Cooler before it, the SunDen hit Kickstarter this week seeking to consolidate and elevate, optimize and smartify all facets...

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Sharkbanz Shark Deterrent

$155.67 from Amazon »

I'm not even sure I trust mosquito-repellent wristbands, so I'm doubly unsure about ones that claim to deter sharks. What I am sure about is that I'd much rather be the test subject for an itchy bloodsucker Invisaband...

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TRITON - Human Gills


TRITON, the human gills design concept I showed you dudes here 2 years ago (and which many of you had mucho to say about in our comments section) is running a crowdfunding campaign to actually produce the equpiment. TRITONs....

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Floating Cocktail Table

$62.70 - $79.99 from Amazon »

You got a floating mattress for your body and a floating lounger for your dog, now all you need is a floating table for your drinks. The Kai Cocktail Table is made of fade-proof, mold- / mildew-resistant, and stain-resistant...

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Sand-Off! Sand-Removing Beach Mitt

Sold Out from Amazon »

Sand belongs on the beach, not plastered to your feet, legs, hands, back, and...crevices. The worst is when you use an outdoor shower to rinse it off and then take two steps and What the... find it all back all over you...

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Waterscape Modular Floating Platform

From phones to backpacks, the modular approach clearly isn't just for LEGO anymore. Australian design studio Derlot has created what might be the most lustworthy use of modules yet: Waterscape. Sure, this floating platform...

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Ostrich Chaise Lounge

$41.95 - $52.95 from Amazon »

Normally the idea of burying one's head in the sand carries a negative connotation, but in the case of this beach-ready lounge chair, pulling an ostrich will produce nothing but the pleasant results of full-body comfort...

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PowerShade Solar-Powered Beach Umbrella

$149 - $219 from PowerShade »

I can hear the naysaying negative Nellies now: The beach is for disconnecting!; Can't you enjoy nature for an hour without your laptop?; Why don't you just stay home, A-hole? Um, because I would like to get a tan, and...

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Matador Pocket Blanket

$53 from Amazon »

Good news! We are now 75% through with winter! I mean, probably. I mostly just made that number up, but it sounds about right. Spring comes in March doesn't it? (At least for those of us who didn't anger God by cheating...

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Ice Cream Sandwich Pool Float

$19.99 from Amazon »

In a sweeping gesture of whimsy and irony, this ice cream sandwich will help you to float along the water's sparkling surface rather than bloat your gut with dairy and sugar and drop you like a sack cream

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Oversized Microfiber Beach Blanket

$39.99 from Amazon »

I know. I'm thinking it too. Boy is that a huge beach towel. And boy to the power of a hundred does that lady look lonely lying on it all by herself. What happens when she gets up to cool off and splash around adorably...

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Giant Cockroach Float


Don't worry. The makers of the Giant Cockroach assure us that, like sexy time toys and weight loss pills, your 6-foot-tall, 40-inch-wide pool float crafted in the image of the country's most reviled vermin will ship in...

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Water Hammock

$29.55 from Amazon »

This is what I'm dreaming of. Swimming pool season. Lazing in a water hammock. Hot blondes in little black bikinis. (The brunette in the little white one isn't bad either.) Over the hump of winter now, I can see it. All...

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Focal Mogo - The Human Kickstand

$99 from Amazon »

Mogo is a portable seat. It folds. It does not weigh very many pounds. It functions indoors and out, on grass, concrete, and sand alike. Mogo looks like a peg leg extending from your butt. Or what might happen when the...

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Shark Repellent Rash Guard


Though most people would probably rather get burnt by the sun than bitten by a shark, both injuries are pretty bad these days. Take your pick on which one leads to a slow, tortuous death, or having flesh ripped away from...

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SeaDuction Floating Cabanas

No one complain that SeaDuction's amphibious cabanas are available only at tropical resorts, and not for public purchase, because I know that even if they were up for general grabs, all I would hear is more complaints:...

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Sand-Free Beach Mat

$34.95 - $99.95 from Amazon »

I would like it very much if CGear's Sand-Free Multimat stayed sand-free by emitting an invisible dome barrier that, forcefully rejected all granular compounds...and children...that got within a foot of...

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Insta-Kilt Towel

$18.99 - $29.95 from Amazon »

I've been wondering would there ever be a way, when I'm extracting sand and the salty ocean from my crevices, or toweling off after a shower, that I could feel as if I'm traipsing through the Scottish Highlands, communing...

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Giant Inflatable Beach Ball

$149.99 from Amazon »

In a sweeping display of calling a duck a duck, the makers of this plastic sphere that balloons to 10 feet in diameter when injected with air have named their creation: Giant Inflatable Beach Ball. And truly, when I look...

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Doctor Who TARDIS Beach Towel

$12.41 from Amazon »

The TARDIS' last launch through the Time Vortex seems to have rendered the vessel two-dimensional. And...terry cloth. But a TARDIS Beach Towel is great news for pool and beach bums in search of the summer's definitive...

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Cremation Ash Fireworks Memorial

$5,500 from Angels Flight »

Out with a bang indeed. Angels Flight's sunset fireworks displays put the memorable in memorial service, commemorating recently-passed loved ones with spectrally brilliant explosives made from their cremated remains....

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Planet Earth Globe Fire Pit

Ahhh, a globe-shaped fire pit whose flaming cutouts are our planet Earth's continents. Just like my grandma always said: the next time the world goes down, it's going down in flames. This sinister piece of social commentary...

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Crime Scene Beach Towel


Perfect for a long lazy nap on the beach after a 12 pack of duff beer the night before. It measures a full 30" x 60" and is made of a super absorbent velour. Velour! I've always wanted to drape myself in velour....