17

Simba Blue Smart Beach Lounger

By: on June 20, 2017

The Simba Blue beach lounger is the smart, relaxing, ultra-lazy result of a partnership between the snoozers at Simba Sleep and the beach bums the Blue Marlin resort in Ibiza. Combining Simba's layers of responsive memory foam and 2,500 conical pocket springs with smart tech that supports Blue Marlin patrons' desire to chill in the sun all day long, the beach lounger prototype could become the most coveted beach and pool accessory since The Coolest Cooler and a Brazilian model in a Sharkini.

Simba Blue beach lounger smart features include:

  • A motorized, user-controlled parasol to add more or less sun to your bronzing skin.
  • An SPF-infused facial misting system to keep the sunscreen applied, and your skin hydrated and shine-free with its cocktail of thermal spring water, aloe, bamboo, and rosewater.
  • A sun exposure tracker that keeps data on how long you've been in the sun and how strong the UV rays you've absorbed have been throughout your session's duration. The tracker sends information to a connected app that also monitors vitamin D levels and sends you sun damage alerts specific to your skin type.
  • A built-in solar-powered phone charger.
  • A built-in WiFi hotspot.
  • A safe for valuables.
  • A drink cooler.
  • An ambient LED lighting system in the parasol that emits a sleep-inducing amber hue after hours in case you're so comfy (or drunk) on your Simba mattress you just want crash out on the beach for the night.

No word on when or if the Simba Blue loungers will be available for public purchase, but if you're headed to Ibiza anytime soon, I'm sure the first batch of them will be lined up in front of the Cala Jondal Bay at the Blue Marlin.

Check it out

aRks 3D Printed Bikinis

aRks 3D has prototyped a series of 3D printed bikinis they call Coral. And I know what all the dudes out there are thinking: that's some Coral I'd sure like to come across in the ocean. In stark contrast what's running...

Check it out

iNyx - Self-Contained-Bedroom Bed

$9,999 from iNyx »

January 2017 Update: iNyx has now developed its own website. At printing, the online ordering system linked to an iNyx IndieGoGo crowdfunding page here....

Check it out

TRITON - Human Gills

Discontinued

TRITON, the human gills design concept I showed you dudes here 2 years ago (and which many of you had mucho to say about in our comments section) is running a crowdfunding campaign to actually produce the equpiment. TRITONs....

Buy Now

The Wonder Cart Table & Beach Cart

$42.79 from Amazon »

Calling this beach gear cart and table combo The Wonder Cart might be a bit of an overstatement. Sure, it's handy to be able to use the carrier to schlep all your towels and floats to the perfect spot, and then flip it...

Buy Now

American Paper Optics Solar Eclipse Glasses

$49.99 from Amazon »

American Paper Optics and their eclipse viewing glasses have a PSA: look straight at the sun during the total solar eclipse coming America's way on August 21, 2017, and you'll know exactly what people mean when they say...

Check it out

Sun Token Solar Vaporizer Hybrid

$135 from Sun Token »

Wonder if my dermatologist would approve of this kind of baking in the sun. The Sun Token is a solar vaporizer hybrid. A handmade pipe with removable glass dome, it harnesses the sun's rays to to vape your herbs and mellow...

Buy Now

Outdoor Rocking Hammock Lounger

$79.99 - $89.99 from Amazon »

I like that this outdoor hammock lounger's design suggests I probably won't flip sideways or spill out onto my belly trying to get in and out of it. But I do have some concerns about ending up ass over teakettle. The...

Check it out

SolarGaps - Solar Panel Window Blinds

$390 - $1,910 from SolarGaps »

Blinded by the light / Sucked it up like some juice / Powered my tech all through the night. SolarGaps window blinds aren't your average smart home addition. They don't just auto-open, close, and adjust based on environmental...

Buy Now

Folding Beach Chair & Roller Cart

$81.99 from Amazon »

This folding beach chair and roller cart has it all: room for your gear and room for your rear. Fishermen, beachgoers, and festival regulars can haul their blankets, coolers, and other outing necessities (i.e., fiber...

Check it out

NavoPed Self-Walking Shoes

Want to pimp out your feet Google-style*? To avoid unpleasant collisions with other pedestrians, telephone poles, and public fountains that just came up out of frikkin' nowhere? To slap on your sneakers and never look...

Check it out

Armadillo Tea Canopy

The belly of a beast doesn't have to be Old Testament-style miserable and wet and reeking of rotting fish. Unlike Jonah, you'll be able to relish some shade from the blaring sun, some shelter from the summer rains, and...

Buy Now

Inflatable Back Seat Mattress

Sold Out from Amazon »

If the car's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'. And even if the car is sitting completely still, please do not disturb because it probably means I am sleeping like a cherubic child of Zeus on my Fuloon inflatable back...