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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Trailer

By: on February 14, 2012

Abraham Lincoln's political career, the Civil War, slavery in The South--conspiracy theorists have been saying it for over a century, and now Seth Grahame-Smith's thinly-veiled novel, plus Tim Burton's twisted interpretive prowess, are splattering the truth in macrocosm across movie screens nationwide. The truth? America was shaped by vampires, and Honest Abe single-handedly altered the course of our nation's future as their pawns. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter hits theaters in gut-wrenching, blood-draining 3D on June 22, 2012.

When a sinister blood vacuum took Honest Abe's mother to settle his father's debts, so began young Lincoln's lifelong crusade towards undead annihilation. In his younger life, he wielded stakes, a signature axe, and a behemoth frame. When he matured, political power and strategic offenses became his weapons of choice. Proclamations, laws, fires, indeed an entire war, were set in motion to rid this country of the devil's spawns. Abe led the charge. But was he successful? You and I walk in the sun, toss back a few brews on Sundays, enjoy the occasional fine meal at The Cheesecake Factory. Life is good. But Abe was assassinated. And small dogs and hikers still go missing all the time. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is the true story you've never heard. About American history. About America today.

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The Nugget Micro Home

This cute little Nugget might be bigger than your kid, but...not by much. Modern Tiny Living's first micro home checks in at a mere 102 square feet and 4,500 pounds and...OK, fine. That's a lot bigger than your kid....

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Tonke Fieldsleeper Camper

By: Tonke »

The Tonke Fieldsleeper isn't just a camper, it's a camper straight out of The Brady Bunch. Check out that wood paneling and groovy baby blue laminate interior. Sure, mint green or rusty orange would have been better...

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Tvan Off-Road Camper Trailer

This is Tvan, and if you're barreling through dirt and rocks with one of the off-road camper trailers bounding along behind you, then you're Tman. The Man. The one who's got the beauty and freedom of the path less traveled...

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Vipukirves Leveraxe

Sold Out from Amazon »

Honestly, the Vipukirves Leveraxe initially intrigued me because the guy holding it in one of the above photos is wearing black-and-white gloves that sort of make him look like he has a hook hand, and I thought perhaps...

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Kobayashi Mug

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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

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TAXA TigerMoth Trailer

Pack away your winter blues in the TAXA TigerMoth adventure trailer's roof rack system, tongue-mounted toolbox, front cargo step, and roof cargo deck. Still cold, snowed-in, and melancholy? The camper has even more room...

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Patriot Campers LC79 Super Tourer

$90,660 from Patriot Campers »

The Patriot Campers LC79 is perfect for Christmas Eve when my girlfriend starts freaking out that she forgot the fresh thyme for her stuffing--"and it has to have fresh thyme! It has to!"--and asks me to run out to the...

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UEV-490 Urban Escape Vehicle

$55,250 from Conqueror Australia »

Conqueror Australia's Urban Escape Vehicle, or UEV, version 490 is one of the best monstrosities I've ever seen. Second maybe only to eleMMent's Land Yacht. The rugged luxury camper is suitable for both on- and off-road...

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Life-Size Alien Head

$1,799.99 from Sideshow Collectibles »

When the staff at the H.R. Giger Museum in Switzerland saw this life-size replica head of the monstrous Alien their namesake created you could literally see the pride and joy bursting from their chests. (Good luck to...

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KiraVan Terrestrial Spaceship

eleMMent Palazzo, Bran Ferren sees your land yacht, and raises you 1 terrestrial spaceship. He calls it the KiraVan, after his daughter....

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Firearm-Mounted Axe Heads

$110 - $120 from Melee Mods »

Since The Walking Dead started again, I've been thinking I need a new zombie-decimating weapon for use in my daydreams about stuffing them with bullets and hacking off their heads. Melee Mods' Tact-Axe and Gatchet should...

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In Case Of Cabinets

$188 from In Case Of »

In case of a zombie, vampire, werewolf, or demon emergency take this tiny sledgehammer, break the glass, and prepare to fight for your life. Or run like a girl while tossing Holy Water over your shoulder. In Case Of cabinets...