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The Fortress Luxury Safe

By: on June 03, 2016
The Fortress Luxury Safe
$128,800
Check It Out

I sure hope German safe manufacturer Doettling's Fortress lives up to its "safest luxury safe in the world" claims because there's no way any owner of one is going to be able to keep it hidden, discreet, or installed as anything but the centerpiece of his room. Maybe his whole life. Then again, any dude who can afford to spend 3 times the entirety of my net worth on a safe that will store just a portion of his own probably has a lot more going for him than the Fortress. I'd like to see the rest of his house. And his car. And his wife. And his girlfriends.

Expense and extravagance aside, there's no denying the Fortress is a thing of beauty. Each safe is handcrafted and upholstered in calfskin, and comes in your choice of color and configuration. You can also choose from certified security classes VdS/EN 3 to VdS/EN5, the latter of which is apparently a B...F...D and "absolutely unique" to the Fortress. (VdS is a decades-old independent European tester and certifier of fire protection and security equipment.)

The Fortress arrives ready for connection to a burglar alarm, and has a silent alarm feature as well. Inside you'll find 8 individually controlled watch winders, a Spanish cedar cigar humidor with electronic humidifying system, and, at the upper portion, a second 2-door safe. This safe, a Colosimo, has space for another 6 watches, and built-in winders with precision-rotating capabilities. Because tick-tock, dammit. The Germans want you to be on time!