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If You Can Read This Dog Tag

By: on June 14, 2012
$12
from
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If you can read this I will lick you. A simple metal disk turns dog collar banality into dog collar hilarity. But how many people take the time to rifle through a dog's tags in search of potential witticisms? I think this fair warning etched in aluminum would have an even better effect hung from a chain around the neck of a two-year-old child, an old person with dementia, or someone high on E.

I'd also like to find the next generation of engraved dog tags--the ones that say If you can read this I will sick you and If you can read this I will lick my balls and then lick your face.

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No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

$65 - $400 from No More Woof »

From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery--yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson--comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops it...

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Wooly Snuffle Foraging & Feeding Mat for Dogs

$39.95 from Amazon »

No, it's not a scalped Fraggle, it's the Wooly Snuffle Mat. Here to facilitate one and restrain another of your dog's instilled canine instincts with its shag-rug-on-acid pile....

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King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

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SureFlap Microchip Pet Door

$150 - $170.99 from Amazon »

Tired of the neighbor's cat Willard and his local gang of raccoons letting themselves in your dog door to clean you out of tuna fish and play poker at your kitchen table? Lock them out with SureFlap's Microchip Pet Door...

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Ruffwear Highlands Sleeping Bag for Dogs

$99.95 from Amazon »

Ruffwear sure knows how to capture a happy family. Mom. Dad. Baby Doggo in its very own baby doggo sleeping bag nestled in between. Awww, how adorable. Guess who woves their wittle baby doggo!...

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iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher

$115.99 from Amazon »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle....

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The Ripple Rug Cat Play Mat

$39.99 from Amazon »

With the Ripple Rug, when your cat gives you that look like, "Yeah, I just rolled in and scratched up and disheveled your shit. What're you gonna do about it, son?" you can just shrug and tell him, "Not a thing, Zanzibar....

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Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

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Wiener Dog Earplugs

$11.50 from Koncent »

I don't know who let the dogs out, and thanks to these Mimi Pet Nagai Dachshund earplugs I'll never hear anyone else wonder, Who, who, who, who?! again....

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Cat Cool Pot Bed Pet Cooling Tray

Japan Trend Shop says the Cat Cool Pot Bed "functions as both a pet bed and as fun decoration to make your cat look cute." I thought they were going to say the dish made from "cooling aluminum" functions as both a cat...

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Your Pet's Fur Watches

Wait! Don't throw away the dog fur you just lint rollered off the couch, or the cat hair you dug out of the vacuum cleaner filter! Stuff that cuddly wad of goodness into a Ziploc and ship it off to Analog Watch Co. They...