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Zodiac Sign Scented Candles

Posted: July 30, 2019
Zodiac Sign Scented Candles
$29.99
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Need a gift for your girlfriend? These Zodiac Scented Candles are a sign! From Brands Banned, the aromatic wax mood setters come in sodie-can-style glass jars, with astrological sign insights printed as if they were nutritional content labels.

For example, Leo is heavy on the following ingredients: rebellious; sarcastic; independent; spontaneous; and visionary. In all of those traits, Leos contain more than 100% of the Zodiac's DRA. And in the "Amazing" category, Leos score a 200%! But when it comes to being an "Ass Kisser" these strong souls are a big ol' donut hole. Zero percent ass kissers!

Know who else is 200% Amazing and 0% Ass Kisser? Virgos. And Scorpios. Capricorns, Cancers, and Pisces. They're all rebellious, sarcastic, independent, spontaneous, and visionary too! In...wait a minute...the exact same proportions as Leos. What the symbol of my being?! All of these Zodiac Sign Scented Candles are the same?

With the exception of the sign printed at the top of the candle's chart, and the color of the wax inside - your choice of black or red - yep. They sure are. And that might be the best part about the Zodiac Sign Scented Candles. They're an actual, accurate representation of astrology. It's 200% bullshit! Well played, Brands Banned.

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