Miscellaneous

Quakehold! Museum Putty

$10.73 Amazon »

Quakehold!, according to my wife, is Museum Putty! we must use for our cat Zanzibarrrr! who keeps threatening to knock over the raku pottery vase her parents gave her for her birthday last week. Removable, reusable, non-toxic...

Rhino Cart All-Terrain Moving Dolly

$139.95 Amazon »

The Rhino Cart All-Terrain Mover's favorite season is summer, just like mine. Because summer is the season of beaches and BBQs. Weddings and vacation. Warm, sunny days and long, pleasant evenings. And - and this is where...

Prone Cushion

$129 - $159 Prone Cushion »

Prone Cushion, huh? They say it's the world's first cushion designed for ergonomic support while lying down, and specifically while lying on your belly reading, laptopping, or zombie-watching TikTok videos. But this "Prone...

Black+Decker Bug Zapper

$54.99 Amazon »

The Black+Decker Bug Zapper is an insect killer that looks as handsome as the house flies, mosquitoes, gnats, and wasps it bzzzzt!s will look nasty lying dead in a pile in the zapper's collection tray...

Balance Pipe

$65 Tetra »

We all need a little balance in our lives. Some of us find that balance in the contents of a pipe. And for those dudes and ladies, what better pipe to represent that which you seek but the Balance Pipe from Tetra?...

Tenga Flex Spiraling Male Masturbator

$35.28 Amazon »

Wanna see the Tenga...Flex? Yeah you do, and not because this male masturbator has hard, rippling muscles that will make you feel like an inadequate piece of shit. On the contrary , it's because the Tenga Flex has soft...

Tetra Fog Pin for Smoking Kits

$32 Tetra »

Tetra Fog Pin is a toothpick of sorts, but it's not for your teeth. And it's a wishbone of sorts, but it's not for pulling apart the day after Thanksgiving. The Fog Pin is a smoker's tool Tetra made to be "the most useful...

Windmill Fan

$1,158 Amazon »

Windmill Fan: Looks cool; might cause cancer. (But, I mean, only if you believe windmills cause cancer.)...

Kraken Dildo

$13.99 Amazon »

Unleash the Kraken Dildo! Seven inches long and suction-cup ready for anal penetration! ... Uh, what? On second thought, dude, keep that thing to yourself. I'm still reeling over the Corn Dog Butt Plug...

Light Bulb & Fan Pull Chains for Ceiling Fans

$6.99 Amazon »

I'm not gonna be a wet blanket and diss these Light Bulb & Fan Pull Chains for ceiling fans because it's really not that hard to look up and figure out which cord controls the light and which cord the fan. Nope. No wet...

ArmPull Hands-Free Door Handle

$54.99 Amazon »

ArmPull is from the maker of FootPull. Not to be confused with the maker of LegPull, which is your grandpa, your drunk uncle, or your annoying coworker who is all over the Meow Hear This and Toilet Goblin. Correction...

Vessel Helix One-Hitter

$65 Vessel »

Vessel's Helix one-hitter has some serious drip. And since I'm pretty sure no one in the generation that made up the slang term "drip" will be reading this, but probably some Gen Z parents will, that means the dry herb...

BYOJ-001 Horn Fragrance Diffuser

$1,300 Byredo »

Sound the smells! The BYOJ-001 reappropriates a bullhorn-lookin' speaker into a fragrance diffuser that blows scents rather than tunes around your home. A collaboration between OJAS speaker brand founder, Devon Turnbull...

Adhesive Magnet Tape

$8.50 Amazon »

Haha, Mama, no excuse not to hang every one of my photos and pieces of artwork on the fridge anymore, now that I'm giving you this neverending* roll of Adhesive Magnet Tape! It's even specially formulated for thin, low-profile...

Gunnlaug Sound Absorbing Curtain

$49.99 IKEA »

Rshhjish irkanuh goorpojush srrdadsrrding cishnish. Oh wait. My bad. Let me pull my new IKEA Gunnlaug Sound Absorbing Curtain back before I tell you. Dudes, this is IKEA's new Gunnlaug Sound Absorbing Curtain. According...

Audacity Doormat

$45 Etsy »

If you think "audacity" is too harsh of a word for this doormat...then you are almost certainly they type of person who doesn't call or text before "stopping by" people's homes. You are also the type of person I bought...

Session Goods Designer Stash Jar & Ashtray

To their designer smoking line Session Goods has added designer...storage, if you will. The new Stash Jar and Ashtray have the same handsome, minimalist design as the company's bong, pipe, and one hitter, and provide...

MastaPlasta Instant Leather Repair Patch

$12.50 Amazon »

The bad news is when you use a MastaPlasta Instant Leather Repair Patch to repair a tear or gouge in your leather...instantly...it's still going to look like a leather repair patch. Like the fabric ones your mama used...

Sleepout Portable Blackout Curtain

$89 - $319 Sleepout »

Blackouts and blacking out typically carry negative connotations, but they are responsible for a better experience during one event: bedtime. Sleepout is a portable blackout curtain its creators say installs over any...

Welly First Aid Kits

$6.99 - $37.99 Amazon »

Where's Wally? Don't worry, you don't have to search high and low with keen eyes for 10 minutes before finally spotting him between the ferris wheel and funnel cake stand. This Wally, the Wally First Aid Kits, should...

Word Search Bedding

A great way to get the kids to turn off the lights and go to bed is to give them a duvet cover and pillowcases printed with a word search. Oh, there's a washable marker included with the Word Search Bedding too, so they...

Alice in Wonderland Doorknob

$89.99 Etsy »

The Doorknob you see here may not lead you to Lewis Carroll's Wonderland, but Prop Sculptor's Alice in Wonderland replica is fully functional, so it could lead you to, like, your bedroom or your backyard, and if you're...

Parting Stone - Turn a Loved One's Ashes Into Pebbles

$295 - $695 Parting Stone »

A Parting Stone conversation: "Dude. Grandma is stacked." "Yeah, dude, I know...but, hey, be careful around her. I spent all day propping her up like that, I don't want anyone tipping her over."...

Smart Electric Blackout Window Shade

$149 Amazon »

Throw shade 'til you black out, and sleep well at night because of it. These smart electric roller shades are made of 100% blackout material, and custom sized to fit any windows in your house. Put them in the bedroom...