Undead Teds - Your Bear, Zombified
- Dismember-Me 12" Plush Zombie - $16.95
- 6-Foot Zombie Valentine's Day Card - $69.00
- Zombie Bird Feeder - $54.95
- Zombie Killer 21" Fixed Blade Tactical Bowie Knife - $39.95
- Zombie Cupid Pencil Holder - $19.95
Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent. Which they might. Teddy bear zombifier Phillip Blackman is English. Who's to say that while he's ripping out your stuffed buddy's stuffed parts and replacing them with bloody gashes and oozing organs, he isn't also teaching him to say, "I'm going to decimate your brains" with a glottal stop?
Blackman's Undead Ted creations all stem from customers' own stuffed animals--a favorite childhood toy, a recent drugstore purchase, your ex's most prized polyester-filled possession, which you stole from her the day you went to collect your stuff after catching her in bed with the personal trainier you've been paying for--mailed in for irreversible treatment in the form of open wounds, exposed bone, and disturbingly realistic gore. Every zombie plush is unique in appearance, though, like Axl Rose, all share an appetite for destruction.
Note that listed pricing includes one large, two medium, or three small wounds on a teddy bear measuring approximately 10" high. Customers may specify injuries, or let Blackman choose. Additional trauma or larger toys may have higher associated fees.