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Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Candle

By: on January 19, 2016
$28.59
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You've already lit the fire that melted Toht's face off. Now get ready to s'mores up the Ghostbusters' biggest bad guy. Set a match to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Candle at the top of his head, and watch him roast and ooze away in a slow death to save New York. Yeah, the candle is missing about 999.3 of the original Stay Puft's 100 feet, and his melting won't be quite as dramatic (or blackened to a crisp) as the proton pack takedown scene in the movie, but you'll still get to enjoy the precious sailor outfit and maniacally happy face and, more importantly, the Marshmallow Man Candle gives off the delicious scent of marshmallows as he burns. Nom, nom, nom, now I'm hungry for marshmallows. I wonder if I can get She-Ra: Princess of Power to make me some Martha Stewart Rocky Road Fudge Bars tonight.

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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

$3,995 from Etsy »

The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Hellraiser Lament Configuration Puzzle Box

$179.97 from Amazon »

Welp, here's one puzzle box I don't want to solve. I don't care what I could stash inside Hellraiser's Lament Configuration, I don't care if it's just a prop replica taken from an allegedly fictitious horror flick, and...

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Madballs Foam Balls

$10.90 - $13.90 from Amazon »

Weeee! Madballs are back. Just in time for Halloween and the 867th time this year I've wished so hard I could go back to the simpler days of my childhood in the 80s....

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Kobayashi Mug

Sold Out from Amazon »

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

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Nebula Mars Portable Cinema

$799.99 from Amazon »

The Mars Portable Cinema won't really take you to Mars - you'll have to hold out for Elon Musk on that - but Nebula calls their latest release The World's First Portable Cinema with Theater-Grade Picture and Sound, so...

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Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner

$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ah, the Breaking Bad RV Incense Burner. [Cue nostalgia.] Reminds me just how much I miss the Krystal Ship. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Heisenberg & Pinkman cooked their last batch. I hope things turn out better...

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Whiskey River Sarcastic Soaps

$8.95 from Whiskey River »

Whiskey River Soaps are like modern-day Shakespearean comedies. Insightful in reading people. Precise in their social commentary. Charming and funny. And, to complement our 21st century needs, not tl;dr, and serving more...

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A Die Hard Christmas

$15.29 from Amazon »

Yippee Ki Yay! A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic is going to be on every kid's man's gift list this year. (Kids probably won't want it. They'll think the John McClane brand of killing and violence...

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The Emojibator (NSFW)

$29 from Emojibator »

"If you can't find a date, emojibate." Some of you will chuckle and others will cringe, but Emojibator creator Jaime Jandler feels all she did was bring an obvious joke to life. And good for her. A little elbow grease...

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Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud...