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Nature's D*ck Pics 2018 Wall Calendar

By: on December 02, 2017
$19.99
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Leave it to nature to penetrate our...hearts. The Nature's Dick Pics 2018 Wall Calendar takes us on a 12-month tour of some of the most striking rock formations Mother Nature ever created. When she was horny.

Formations included in Nature's Dick Pics stand erect all over the world, across all different terrains and climates, and throughout both societies that would jail you, and those that would roll their eyes at you for giggling at a dick pic. Glad I live on the internet, where dick pic snickering is both legal and encouraged.

As an environmental bonus to outdoors lovers who purchase the Nature's Dick Pics 2018 Wall Calendar, the edition comes with a Forest Stewardship Council approved seal, and a percentage of every calendar sale will be donated to the National Park Foundation and the Prostate Cancer Foundation.

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Pyro - Open Palm Fireball Shooter

Discontinued

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. I know because only Santa could make a hidden wristband that allows me to launch fireballs from my open palm, and only Santa could make it available for my mama to purchase for me...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Flowering Penis Coffee Mug

$15.99 from Amazon »

For all the ladies (and fellas!) who count floral patterns and penises amongst their favorite things, have I got a mug of a gift for you. Clothing and accessory brand HUMAN goes for a very anatomical part of being one...

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Embarrassing Box Prank Mailer (NSFW)

$13.99 from Amazon »

D*ck in a Box is back! Just in time to dil-dole out some good times at the office and an April Fool's Day gift or two. Like many popular send-it-anonymously pranks, maker Witty Yeti will take a sworn oath to mail your...

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Goats in Trees 2018 Calendar

$12.02 from Amazon »

Too bad the 2018 Goats in Trees calendar doesn't come with sound effects. Assuming the crazy SOBaaaahs that hoof it up trunks and balance on limbs are the same crazy SOBaaaahs that scream, that is. But imagine it: every...

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True Mirror - How Others See You

$200 from Amazon »

The True Mirror idea is simple (and old; it was first patented in 1887): place two mirrors at right angles and have a look-see. Its effect, though, elicits the complexities of realization spanning everything from Whoa!...

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How to Pee with Morning Wood

$13.95 - $60.90 from Zazzle »

A self-help guide to dealing with the enormous issue I face first thing in the morning every single day of my life and it's packaged as whimsical wall art that will add immeasurable character to my bathroom? How to Pee...

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The Uncomfortable - Inconvenient Everyday Objects

Oh the fun you could have using some of Katerina Kamprani's Uncomfortable designs to mess with the new guy at work. Give him that disc-headed key to the office. Ask him to water the plants. Invite him to the break room...

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Muzo - Personal Zone Creator & Noise Blocker

$159 from indiegogo »

Muzo uses anti-vibration technology to turn the world off. (Makes sense, given the number of other devices that use pro-vibration technology to turn the world on--VibeRider, anyone?) At approximately the size and shape...

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Private Gym Penis Trainer (NSFW)

$59.99 - $99.99 from Amazon »

It's the one body part P90X neglects. But before you reach for a Viagra to long-and-strongify your johnson, the Private Gym would like its shot at ripping your penis to shr-...uh.... Maybe I'll go with a different idiomatic...

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Paco's Taco Stroker

Sold Out from Amazon »

At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...

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Rubika 3D Illusion Rubik's Cube Bookcase

By: Anesis »

George Bosnas' Rubika sends your brain on a different kind of trip. Rather than teaming up with your fingers and using pattern recognition, movement visualization, and memory to solve a puzzle, your brain and eyes share...