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KFC Internet Escape Pod

By: on November 19, 2017
$10k
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KFC says their Internet Escape Pod, featuring a fried chicken drumstick door handle and Stretch Armstrong Colonel Sanders passed out drunk and slung over the top, is meant to help you hide from the barrage of Cyber Monday ads and marketing ploys. And I'm pretty sure it accomplishes this by inviting you to purchase a brand new Internet Escape Pod you just saw in an ad, and that is nothing if not a marketing ploy. Oh, and don't forget to take a bucket of KFC Extra Crispy Fried Chicken in there with you!

The only "escape" you'll get from Cyber Monday in buying a KFC Internet Escape Pod is that, at $10,000, it is definitely no Cyber Monday deal. What it is: a 7' x 7' x 6' 6" steel and stainless steel mesh cage draped with a Colonel made from 8-pound high-density architectural foam and (I hope) doused with 11 secret herbs and spices.

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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Village

$17.99 - $129.99 from Amazon »

You can go all out Clark Griswold and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation on your holiday decorating this year without risking falling off the roof or running up a thousand-dollar electrical bill. Just make yourself...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Kobayashi Mug

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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

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netool Simple Network Analyzer

$196.17 from Amazon »

netool endeavors to do the big work of bulky network analyzers in a package small enough to put in a pouch made to hold pens. For both professionals and individuals looking to troubleshoot or get diagnostics on their...

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Enigmaze Internet Password Bracelet

$35 from Amazon »

I always wear my heart on my sleeve, my egg on my face, and my internet passwords on my wrist. And surprisingly, the Enigmaze Internet Password Bracelet may be the best of those 3 decisions....

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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

$3,995 from Etsy »

The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

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Butterfly Labs Jalapeno Bitcoin Miner

Sold Out from Amazon »

Butterfly Labs' entry level Jalapeno Bitcoin miner sells with a mining rate of 5 G/Hash per second, as well as with an upgrade that bumps its performance to 7 G/Hash per second. And while both are pretty paltry in comparison...

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Deadpool Christmas Tree Ornaments

$30.19 from Amazon »

These Deadpool Christmas tree ornaments will look right at home dangling alongside the Bob Ross Funko Pop figure classing up my mantle. 'Tis the season for happy little trees and Deadpool 2 trailers....

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The Emojibator (NSFW)

$29 from Emojibator »

"If you can't find a date, emojibate." Some of you will chuckle and others will cringe, but Emojibator creator Jaime Jandler feels all she did was bring an obvious joke to life. And good for her. A little elbow grease...

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Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle

$39.69 from Firebox.com »

This is an Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. If you've seen stranger things - say, Taxidermy Animal Drones or Edible Anus Chocolates - it probably won't bother you. And if you've seen Stranger Things, you'll probably love it....

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Stranger Fillings: A Parody Cookbook

$14.19 from Amazon »

Stranger Fillings: A Parody Cookbook continues the cookbook trend started by recipe collections like Baking Bad and The Snacking Dead. Released during the lead-up to Stranger Things' second season, the spoof provides...

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Map of the Internet

$36.95 from Zazzle »

Jay Simons: student; amateur graphic designer; Slovakian; Internet cartographer. If the Web were divided into land masses, grouped along lines of latitude and meridians and flattened into a map on your desk, what would...