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VW Camper Van Toaster

By: on October 30, 2013
$72.25
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Whether it's a tent, a bunk bed, or an actual motor vehicle...that can't go faster than 50...it seems the VW Camper Van has achieved an iconic status that will never wane. But what I want to know is, can the VW Camper Van Toaster toast my bread into toast that will also get me toasted? It seems like a logical feature of this particular wheat-crisping model. And if it's one the toaster has, I'm sold.

If it's not, then...any chance I could get a double-wide, 4-slotted version? I figure if my VW can't get me high at breakfast it may as well jack me up by way of carbo-loading. Slop some orange marmalade and apple butter on a quad of lightly browned sourdough bad boys and send me into the dawn of day. Or, more likely, the groggy haze of mid-afternoon. Gotta start remembering the alarm only goes off when I set it.

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The Camperbox - Backseat Bed in a Bag

$157 - $175 from The Camperbox »

It's like The Camperbox read my mind. I was just talking about sleeping in a van down by the river. But it was in reference to Raptor's Platform XL fishing boat, what I consider to be the water-faring version of a van...

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Patriot Campers LC79 Super Tourer

$90,660 from Patriot Campers »

The Patriot Campers LC79 is perfect for Christmas Eve when my girlfriend starts freaking out that she forgot the fresh thyme for her stuffing--"and it has to have fresh thyme! It has to!"--and asks me to run out to the...

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Happier Camper HC1

$15,950 from Happier Camper »

While the HC1's $15K base price doesn't make me a Happier Camper, if my mama, or my sugar mama, were to purchase one on my behalf I would very happily camp around our country's best national parks and nude beaches all...

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Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill

$29.99 from Amazon »

Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB....

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Darth Vader Toaster

$42.48 from Amazon »

Big Bad Toy Store says nothing--nothing!--about its forthcoming breakfast game changer, the Darth Vader Toaster, except this:...

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Star Wars Death Star Toaster

$65.54 from The Fowndry »

This Death Star is armed with 7,293 TIE Fighters, and it's ready to deploy them onto your sliced bread. In toaster form, it's also the perfect solution to mornings you're in a rush and don't have time to craft a complete...

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Breakfast Sandwich Maestro

$22.49 from Amazon »

5 minutes to a breakfast sandwich. No drive-thru on earth can beat that...mainly because of the whole leaving the house and driving to the drive-thru portion of the equation. Otherwise I guess most of them could. If there...

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Smart Oven Air Fryer, Roaster & Dehydrator

$399.95 from Amazon »

Tons of toaster ovens do more than just toast, but I like the Breville Smart Oven Air's additions of frying and dehydrating to the countertop cooker game. Using Element IQ technology, or the thing that allows them to...

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Family Size Hat Trick Breakfast Station

$67.48 - $77.55 from Amazon »

You've seen the hat trick of a Breakfast Station big enough for you, but here's an option big enough for your whole family....

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Cuisinart Steam & Convection Oven

$247 from Amazon »

Cuisinart's Steam Oven stuffs the full functionality of a convection oven and a professional steam oven into a 15-1/2" x 18" countertop footprint. Using steam as a heating method can cut the cooking time of vegetables...

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VW Camper Tent

$499 from Amazon »

Hey man... like wanna come hang out in my bus? I wonder what goes on in a tent like this? I doubt there would be any drugs that's for sure. And probably nobody with a guitar or patchouli smell. Definitely no rastafarian...

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Rotimatic Indian Bread Maker

$599 - $999 from Rotimatic »

I'm still not even sure what the hell roti is. I thought Indian bread was either naan (mmmmm, chewy) or papadums (mmmmm, crunchy). What's this third formation of dough throwing a wrench into my narrow culinary view of...