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The Nessie Family Kitchen Utensils

By: on August 13, 2017
$32.90
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The whole fam Nessie damily would like to take a swim in your kitchen brews and stews. Papa the colander spoon in your cooked pasta. Mama the ladle in your tomato soup and passion fruit punch. And Baby Nessie in your steaming hot flowering penis mug of chamomile tea.

The Nessie Family of kitchen utensils comes nested (adorably) in a single pack. Set them next to the Iron Dinosaur paper towel holder to build camaraderie, or or face them off against the Kitchen Ninja knife block in a battle of Myth vs. Martial Arts.

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Spaghetti Monster Colander

$18 from OTOTO »

Pastafarians, Flying Spaghetti Monster sympathizers, people who just enjoy a good googly-eyed car emblem, I hope you're hungry! For your deity has appeared to me in colander form. He says he wants to live in your kitchen....

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Life-Size Bigfoot Statue

$2,226 from Amazon »

It's not so much a Bigfoot sighting as it is a Bigfoot companion for life with this life-size Garden Yeti Statue from Design Toscano. If you thought the 8-1/2-foot-tall garden gnome would increase your home's value and...

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In Case Of Cabinets

$188 from In Case Of »

In case of a zombie, vampire, werewolf, or demon emergency take this tiny sledgehammer, break the glass, and prepare to fight for your life. Or run like a girl while tossing Holy Water over your shoulder. In Case Of cabinets...

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Smoke Puck Meat Infusers

$10.27 from Amazon »

They say these smoke pucks pack punch. Right in your meat's kisser! Smaller than a wood or pellet smoker, or even a wood / pellet smoker box that sits under your grill lid, the Steven Raichlen Best of Barbecue Stainless...

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Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper

$7.94 from Amazon »

This Cob Corn Stripper (not to be confused with a lady in a cornfield on a Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole) better work damn good, and without making a mess, because despite my rant last week about breaking up ground beef...

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Nessie Ladle

$12.99 from Animi Causa »

She waits. She lurks. She stalks. And then suddenly, out of the depths of my 8-quart stock pot, Nessie emerges. Oh the terror! The foreboding doom! The...hey, what's the Loch Ness Monster got in tow there? Is that a ladle...

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Alchemix Liquor Infuser & Carbonator

$79 from Alchemix »

Alchemix hopes to shake up the shaker scene amongst mixologists and enthusiastic cocktail imbib-ologists alike with their Kickstarter campaign for a drank maker that infuses and/or carbonates your liquor and mixers in...

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Cthulhu Titanium Bottle Opener

$80 from A. Jacques »

Maybe Alex Jacques' interest in a Cthulhu bottle opener began with his interest in straight razors. The craftsman started out, and continues to forge, what he hopes you'll consider "the finest handmade straight razors...

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The Food Kracker

$14.95 - $19.95 from Food Kracker, Inc. »

The Food Kracker looks to be as gratifying in application as it is effective. Almost as good as when you buy a bag of ice that gets all hunked up together in the freezer, so when you want to use it you lift it really...

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Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles

$93.02 from Etsy »

Pick your poison. Actually, pick two: a spirit to fill one of Orion Oddities's sick hand-sculpted bottles with; and a Lovecraftian beast to guard its contents. The Italian design shop molds the likenesses of Cthulhu and...

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Ka-Bar Tactical Spork

$7.91 from Amazon »

See, it's a fork-spoon combo up top with a...knife!...that pulls out from the handle. And--and!--it's black. Ka-Bar's Tactical Spork is a tactical tool for tactical eating if I've ever seen one. Imagine the stealth and...

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The Muncher Titanium Multi-Utensil

$35 - $50 from Full Windsor »

Long day outside. Sun, sweat, and dirt on your skin. A rumbling in your gut. It's time. To munch. And if you're on Team Full Windsor, it's time to Muncher. The outdoor and cycle accessory brand recently crowdfunded their...