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Sparta Knife Block

By: on October 03, 2014

I think the Sparta Knife Block is even better than the Ex Knifeholder because while they are both clever ideas, the Sparta version connotes a brave and stoic warrior defending me instead of an angry and vengeful woman puncturing my vital organs, and is therefore less scary for me to look at. And even if he's on the attack, I think I would rather look a Spartan aiming a 9' spear at me in the eye than my ex-girlfriend Karen aiming her eye at me in the eye any day.

Officially titled the "Bad Ass" Sparta Knife Block, this kitchen soldier holds standard knives and a sharpening steel in his mixed maple-walnut wood shield and hand. He stands permanently on guard at 12" x 8" x 6", and is available in a very limited handmade edition of 50.

The Sparta Knife Block is a top Dude Gift for the Kitchen pick.

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

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$45k - $545k from CultureNordic »

Have you always dreamt of owning your own authentic Viking ship, built by craftsmen in the ancient Nordic capital of Roskilde? Well I hadn't really given it much thought before, purveyor of fine Scandinavian gifts CultureNordic...

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$1,838 from Japan Trend Shop »

Darth Vader as a samurai warrior. Hmmm, a strange mixing of metaphors, but it still fits. Trade the lightsaber for a sword, swap out the E-3778Q-1 mobile life support system and cape for ancient Japanese mobile life support...

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Dripping Blood Cutting Board

$26.11 from mzube »

Now kitchen countertops can look like a bloody mess whether you've cut yourself or used them to butcher a half side of beef or not. Great for Halloween, great for an otherwise ho-hum Monday night, great for getting a...

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I won't tell you what you should and shouldn't use these fine Breaking Bad cutting boards for, but...you might want to stick to "Let's Cook"-ing actual food. Like, how about cleaving some birds for a nice Los Pollos Hermanos...

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Scalemail Spaulders

$65 from Etsy »

Fashion-forward and cosplaying ladies will love these scalemail spaulders and choker from Silmaril Clothing. Dudes, you might like them too if you can tear your eyes away from the model's tattoo long enough to check them...

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Kujira Whale Knives

$35.97 - $44.49 from Amazon »

Did you know whales can cut the cheese too? In fact, I bet they're the sharpest and most powerful cheese cutters on earth. Check it out. You got a sperm whale ready to cut the cheese, a humpback whale ready to cut the...