Self-Balancing Butter Knife
Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. This is the Weeble of butter knives. A dynamo at the dinner table, the knife self-balances on one end when not in use so you don't have to lay its jam/butter/mustard-covered other end on your table. Or, more likely, on the side of your plate where it will invariably fall off and spread its joy all over the table anyway.
Balancing knives are a little pricey but I guess worth it if they come in at less than your current cost of re-staining wood and replacing tablecloths.