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Self-Balancing Butter Knife

By: on June 12, 2015

Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. This is the Weeble of butter knives. A dynamo at the dinner table, the knife self-balances on one end when not in use so you don't have to lay its jam/butter/mustard-covered other end on your table. Or, more likely, on the side of your plate where it will invariably fall off and spread its joy all over the table anyway.

Balancing knives are a little pricey but I guess worth it if they come in at less than your current cost of re-staining wood and replacing tablecloths.

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LEVITAT Aerial Mat & Hammock

$100 - $159 from LEVITAT »

Unplug and relax in an oasis for one (or 3) or sweat it out walking the edge and striking a scissor leg side crow pose in the center of the LEVITAT aerial mat and hammock. This combo fitness tool and lounger latches to...

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biem Instant Stick Butter Sprayer

$129 - $159 from Biem »

Whether you're looking to cut back on the butter or blanket your whole life in a dewy sheen of it, the forthcoming biem Butter Sprayer could be as revolutionary for your popcorn and toast as the Slotdog is for your wieners....

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Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper

$7.99 from Amazon »

This Cob Corn Stripper (not to be confused with a lady in a cornfield on a Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole) better work damn good, and without making a mess, because despite my rant last week about breaking up ground beef...

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Fatworks Animal Fat Cooking Oils

$16.95 - $22.35 from Amazon »

I don't know much, but I do know that I would like some duck fat french fries. Yes please, Baby Jesus! A coupla spiralized russets, a sturdy saucepan, a big, fat wad of Fatworks kettle-rendered quack fat, and I don't...

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The Food Kracker

$14.95 - $19.95 from Food Kracker, Inc. »

The Food Kracker looks to be as gratifying in application as it is effective. Almost as good as when you buy a bag of ice that gets all hunked up together in the freezer, so when you want to use it you lift it really...

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Ka-Bar Tactical Spork

$3.20 from Amazon »

See, it's a fork-spoon combo up top with a...knife!...that pulls out from the handle. And--and!--it's black. Ka-Bar's Tactical Spork is a tactical tool for tactical eating if I've ever seen one. Imagine the stealth and...

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MagicalButter Cannabis Cooker

Sold Out from Amazon »

Easily make medicinal butter, oils, tinctures, lotions, and sauces. Hear that? MagicalButter is so named for its power to convert healing herbs into healing herb culinary creations. So start coughing and breaking into...

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The Chork - Chopsticks & Fork in One

$8.99 - $14.99 from Amazon »

What you see before you are cheaters. At least cheaters in the Chork-o-Sphere. The Chork is a double-ended fork (flip!) and chopsticks combo. Use it tines-down and you're eating like a Westerner. Split the utensil in...

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Meat Shredding Claws

$14.95 from Amazon »

Second only to my teeth--and probably preferred by the other people at the BBQ--these Claws from OXO shred meat with quickness, efficiency, and panache. Well, as much panache as a eagle's talons or a coupla garden rakes...

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Knorks

$19.99 from Amazon »

Knork: it's the camping-ready Spork's urban, cutting edge cousin. Here to help you slice and pierce your filet mignon with a single hand and a simple rocking motion. Perfect for the knife-renouncing avant-garde, plus...

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Butter Savers

$13.01 - $13.66 from Amazon »

My girlfriend loves it when I slice off a hunk of butter and then just kind of slap whatever wrapper remnants the knife didn't cut off back over the exposed end before putting the stick back in the fridge. The next time...

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Mini Nutella Jars

$13.99 from Amazon »

Finally I can justify eating an entire jar of Nutella. The only problem is that these mini glass bottles of the creamerrific hazelnut spread come in packs of 16. So it's going to be like me and a bag of fun-size snickers:...