98

Onion Holder & Odor Remover

By: on March 08, 2015
$15.53
Check It Out

Some things that suck about raw onions besides the way they linger on my palate and infiltrate every burp I belch for the next 36 hours include: 1) Make me cry like a 9-year-old girl at her guinea pig's funeral when I cut them; 2) Sting the ever-loving Roxanne out of my chewed-up cuticles when I cut them; and 3) Permeate and nest in the skin of my hands such that every lady I try to hit on asks me if I just got off work at White Castle when I cut them. The moral of the story is that cutting onions F'ing sucks.

So I hope this stainless steel onion holder really works, and if it does I'm F'ing getting one. In addition to its mission of expertly keeping onions stable without my having to touch them, the kitchen tool's tines also serve as knife guides for perfectly spaced slicing. Even better bonus: it kind of looks like the pick comb I used to use to brush my hair in 5th grade when my mama let me get a Whitesnake perm. The onion holder has a non-slip santoprene handle for gripping and a stainless steel oval top that solves problem #3 of onion cutting, the cloying odor.

Check it out

OGarden Rotating Indoor Plant Wheel

$1,397 from OGarden »

OGarden thinks your plants might like to take a ride on the ferris wheel too. This rotating indoor garden gives those of us without the space or climate conditions we'd need to grow our own food in a VegTrug outdoors...

Buy Now

Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper

$7.99 from Amazon »

This Cob Corn Stripper (not to be confused with a lady in a cornfield on a Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole) better work damn good, and without making a mess, because despite my rant last week about breaking up ground beef...

Buy Now

15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator

$74.80 from Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

Buy Now

Trudeau Toss & Chop Salad Tongs

$14.95 from Amazon »

The Trudeau Toss & Chop Salad Tongs may not be as dreamy as Justin, but they'll still win you over with their helpfulness in the kitchen, and ability to get along with all different types of fruits and vegetables....

Buy Now

VegTrug Urban Vegetable Planter

$279.99 from Amazon »

While the VegTrug isn't quite what I mean when I say I could eat a trough of food, put some tomatoes, onions, cilantro, and jalapenos in this urban planter, and I may still be down for some deconstructed salsa by the...

Check it out

Grobo Indoor Garden

$899 from Grobo »

Grobo should be called Gromo. As is Gromo plants you can eat. Gromo plants that won't die. Gromo plants that Gromo all by themselves. But it's called Grobo, maybe short for grow box, maybe just a word its Canadian creators...

Buy Now

Pelamatic Fruit & Vegetable Peeler

$149.99 from Amazon »

The orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'til aaaallll the ughbittergrossblechblechblech white stuff...

Buy Now

FoodPod Boil Bag & Strainer

$23.91 from Amazon »

The FoodPod looks like an adorable, fat-jowled alien. See--the horizontal strip cutout is his eyes, the first bump below that his nose, the 2 oval cutouts below that his pair of mouths, and the big rounded sides of the...

Check it out

Ravanello - Mario Mushroom Radish Shaper

$11.99 from Animi Causa »

1UP! 1UP! 1UP! 1UP!1UP!1UP! As many 1UP! radish-mushrooms as your little fingers and wrists can churn out without cramping up or going arthritic, thanks to Animi Causa's new Ravanello. Did they intend for the shaper that...

Check it out

Cutting Boredom Cutting Boards

$35 - $125 from Etsy »

If you're not into Final Fantasy, maybe you'd like Tony Montana and "Scarf Place" on your cutting board. Or Jules Winnfield demanding, "Let's get these motherfuckin steaks on that motherfuckin flame!" Or Inigo Montoya...

Check it out

Vegetabrella Lettuce Umbrella

In the words of the great Lionel Richie, "You are the sun. You are the Romaine. That makes my life this foolish game." Seriously, Vegetabrella, you've reduced me to a career of Lionel and lettuce puns. Or I should say...

Check it out

Mushroom Log Kit

$29.95 from Williams Sonoma »

They won't be magically delicious, but the mushrooms that grow out of these spore-injected logs will be tasty as shiitake. Williams Sonoma's homegrown mushroom kit features a hand-cut hardwood log filled will little fertilized...