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Germophobe's Silverware

By: on November 17, 2016
Germophobe's Silverware
$109.99
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If the thought of the 5 second rule--or of my policy of eating anything off the floor that still looks tasty regardless of how long it's been there--makes you gag up a little bit of your undigested lunch, then have I got some silverware for you!

This 20-piece flatware set from from Dawoochen turns its nose up to dirty tabletops and surface germs with a literal upturned design that prevents the ends of the cutlery that touch your pure 'n' pristine piehole from also touching the grimy & vile table when set down.

In addition to catering to germophobes' neurosis, Dawoochen says its Head Up Flatware is comfortable and ergonomic to use, and looks real good on the table. I myself think the utensils look kinda like they were on the receiving end of that kid from The Matrix's Jedi mind tricks.