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Dripping Blood Cutting Board

By: on July 27, 2013
$26.11
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Now kitchen countertops can look like a bloody mess whether you've cut yourself or used them to butcher a half side of beef or not. Great for Halloween, great for an otherwise ho-hum Monday night, great for getting a rise out of people with poor vision and the elderly. Grandma, help! I sliced through my finger and now the blood gushing from it has frozen in time!

mzone's dripping blood cutting board looks like what happens when someone who has no business handling a knife tries to brunoise a yam. It fits against a counter's edge for stability, or can be used without the attached vertical drip by people who are humorless wet blankets.

Muchas danke to Laughing Squid.

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Flayed Flesh Garters

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Sparta Knife Block

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$5.37 from Amazon »

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Two coolers, folding prep surface, wine rack and drawer storage, rustic wood design--this patio bar gets my gold star of approval. Which it obviously already knows, given that it's gone ahead and affixed one to itself...

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Curling Pan - Shapeshifting Cutting Board

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Gerber Freescape Camp Kitchen Kit

$68.78 from Amazon »

Gerber Green is at it again. This time, instead of arming you with knives, axes, lanterns, zipper charms, and other tools to pursue your outdoor adventures, the company is offering up the Freescape Camp Kitchen Kit to...

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Boo-Boos Gory Bandages

I'll see your kiss it and make it better and raise you a gasp, gag, and vomit up my corn dog and curly fries. Designer, inventor, and gore master Sherwood Forlee makes Boo-Boos, adhesive bandages that will help make your...

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BloodStop Hemostatic Gauze

$16.99 from Amazon »

"I dare you." "Hey dude, watch this." "Wanna try to make some money on YouTube?" These are just a few of the calling cards leading to one's introduction to BloodStop, a hemostatic gauze that adheres to spewing wounds...

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Let's Cook Heisenberg Cutting Boards

$30.90 from Etsy »

I won't tell you what you should and shouldn't use these fine Breaking Bad cutting boards for, but...you might want to stick to "Let's Cook"-ing actual food. Like, how about cleaving some birds for a nice Los Pollos Hermanos...

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Blood Bath Wallpaper

$53 from Pixers »

Huh. Now this is interesting. And by "interesting" I mean, "I really hope I never show up to someone's house and see an entire room wallpapered in blood splatters." That's, like, some psycho housewife shit. Some Kathy...

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Kujira Whale Knives

$35.97 - $44.49 from Amazon »

Did you know whales can cut the cheese too? In fact, I bet they're the sharpest and most powerful cheese cutters on earth. Check it out. You got a sperm whale ready to cut the cheese, a humpback whale ready to cut the...