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Star Wars Bed

By: on September 07, 2015

If you're a kid who gets this bed you're one of the lucky ones: your dad might actually love you as much as he loves Star Wars. While I'm not sure rabid fans of The Force think as highly of Pottery Barn Kids, for better or worse that's the company Lucasfilm decided to license in the making of this galactic place of rest.

Both the head and foot of the Millennium Falcon cockpit bed are handpainted with (loose) replicas of the ship's knobs and gauges. The entire Star Wars piece is made of solid hardwood, measuring Twin size at 108.25" long x 45.5" wide x 45.5" high. Just big enough for Dad to squeeze into bed with Jr. when he has a nightmare about eating Wookiee BBQ or The Force Awakens' release date getting pushed to 2017.

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iNyx - Self-Contained-Bedroom Bed

$9,999 from iNyx »

January 2017 Update: iNyx has now developed its own website. At printing, the online ordering system linked to an iNyx IndieGoGo crowdfunding page here....

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Smartduvet Breeze Heat & Cool Self-Making Bed

$199 from Smartduvet »

The Smartduvet self-making bed - no, really. The bed makes itself. Just watch. And that's old news. Smartduvet is now launching a next generation of their smart bedding, the Breeze, that adds dual-zone climate control...

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Star Wars Super Graphic: A Visual Guide

$13.56 from Amazon »

Yoda in a Venn diagram. Nicely done, Star Wars Super Graphic. I'll bet the left slice is those who "Do" and the right those who "Do Not," with the Yoda center representing the young Jedis who tell their master, "Alright...

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Zerobody Anti-Gravity Bed

The Zerobody is a sensory deprivation float tank that removes the one major P in the A side effect of floating: getting wet. (True, drowning is kind of a pain too, but most of these tanks have only about a foot of water...

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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The Harambed

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in...

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Rocket Ship Potato Masher

$17 from OTOTO »

Might be a while before we can take a rocket ship to mars, so in the meantime, let's take a rocket ship to...mashed potatoes!...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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Star Wars Chewbacca Beanbag

$169 - $279 from Pottery Barn »

The only thing wrong with this Chewbacca Beanbag, a Wookiee lounger my ass would otherwise love to plop down on, is that it's from Pottery Barn. Just like this Star Wars Bed. So basically the only people who can have...

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The Purple Bed

$699 - $1,299 from Amazon »

I hope this Purple Bed isn't a People Eater disguised as a mattress. Because it sounds too good to be true. Both soft and firm in all the right spots. Temperature neutral, so it won't absorb heat and make you cold, or...

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The Bird's Nest Bed

The Bird's Nest Bed can accommodate up to 16 people at once. Take note swingers, Mormons, women undergoing IVF treatments, and the Duggar family! The giant basin of comfort was brainstormed and brought to life by O*GE...

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Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...