Airplane Engine Coffee Table
A US Army Boeing-Stearman PT-13 engine serves as the gleaming base for this glass-topped coffee table. Stearmans are prop planes that skyrocketed and peaked in use during WWII, after which they saw a sharp decline in favor of newer, larger models (they measure a mere 25' long, and have a 32'2" wingspan). However, their acrobatic capabilities landed surplus planes jobs with aerial daredevils, who often painted them in a circus spectacle of colors.
The table's $31,000+ price tag likely reflects its one-of-a-kind nature, and the fact that someone lost an eye stealing it from the Canadian Museum of Flight in Langley, British Columbia (remember, just because Canucks are peaceful doesn't mean they don't know how to wield a shotgun). Still, as cool as it would be to set my Lord of the Rings chess set and vagina coloring book on top of such a stunning and formidable relic of WWII, I can't help but think of all the other things I could buy for $30 grand:
- 600 coffee tables from IKEA.
- A college edu...wait, nevermind. One year in college.
- Two 1,000-person tents.
- A 2012 Ford Mustang.
- Dinner at one of our Presidential candidates' fundraisers.
- Lessons on how to craft my own $30,000 coffee tables.
- A Victoria Beckham alligator handbag for 1 lucky lady.
- Boob jobs for 4 to 6 lucky ladies.
- 1,250 gallons of gorilla shit.