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Victorian Star Wars Portraits

By: on February 23, 2014
$499
from
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The Star Wars boys give a pretty decent representation of Victorian times, huh? Jabba the Hutt almost looks dapper. Or at least less like the massive wart my friend Cornelius grew on the inside of his arm when he went to hunt snapping turtles in Texas one weekend. Chewie looks very poised as well. A little judgmental though. Not really the face I want to see staring back at me at 3 in the morning after I've polished off a couple dozen Bagel Bites and watched another soft-core porn on HBO's late-night lineup. Were I to buy one of Greg Peltz's steampunk-inspired galactic portraits, I'd stick with the helmeted Boba Fett. No eyes, no unspoken smugness.

Peltz has created a series of 5 Victorian Star Wars prints. First Mate (Chewbacca), Copilot (R2D2), Metal Man (C3PO), Headhunter (Boba Fett), and Kingpin (Jabba the Hutt) are part of a very limited edition of giclee portraits. Each measures 9" x 13" and comes hand-numbered and framed on canvas. A Certificate of Authenticity is included.

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Star Wars Chewbacca Beanbag

$169 - $279 from Pottery Barn »

The only thing wrong with this Chewbacca Beanbag, a Wookiee lounger my ass would otherwise love to plop down on, is that it's from Pottery Barn. Just like this Star Wars Bed. So basically the only people who can have...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 2017

$799.99 from LEGO »

Start saving your credits and wupiupi. LEGO is dropping a new Millennium Falcon model - a 7,500-piece behemoth of a brick freighter - on October 1, 2017. Need a gift for a man? Particularly a man you'd like to make very...

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True Mirror - How Others See You

$200 from Amazon »

The True Mirror idea is simple (and old; it was first patented in 1887): place two mirrors at right angles and have a look-see. Its effect, though, elicits the complexities of realization spanning everything from Whoa!...

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littleBits Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit

$99.95 from Amazon »

Want your kids to learn a littleBits about tech as you secretly relish the interactive R2-D2 they're building? The Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit hit littleBits shelves just in time for Force Friday II....

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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Star Wars Return of the Jedi Wall Clock

$199.95 from Amazon »

The only thing missing from this Return of the Jedi wall clock is an R2-D2 head that pops out on the hour to go, Bee-boo-boop-coo-koo! Otherwise, it's all there. Electroluminescent lightsabers and LED glow from within:...

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Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

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Star Wars Storm Trooper Electric Shaver

$49.95 from Amazon »

They used the Force Friday on me and all I can see is Star Wars merch! The Storm Trooper Electric Shaver from Philips Norelco is another forthcoming (10/1/17) addition to the Star Wars: The Last Jedi frenzy....

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Mesmerizing Animated GIF Portrait

I don't know how they did this or where you can have one of your own done, but it's pretty darn sweet. Something about it makes me want to stare at it longer than I should. I'm obsessed with its awesomeness. Is it just...

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Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table

$6,499 from Regal Robot »

The only thing this Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table is missing is my feet. As Han Solo and Chewie expertly maneuver their ship through an asteroid field to evade Vader and his fleet, I relax with a Bud Light Lime...