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Victorian Star Wars Portraits

By: on February 23, 2014
$499
from
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The Star Wars boys give a pretty decent representation of Victorian times, huh? Jabba the Hutt almost looks dapper. Or at least less like the massive wart my friend Cornelius grew on the inside of his arm when he went to hunt snapping turtles in Texas one weekend. Chewie looks very poised as well. A little judgmental though. Not really the face I want to see staring back at me at 3 in the morning after I've polished off a couple dozen Bagel Bites and watched another soft-core porn on HBO's late-night lineup. Were I to buy one of Greg Peltz's steampunk-inspired galactic portraits, I'd stick with the helmeted Boba Fett. No eyes, no unspoken smugness.

Peltz has created a series of 5 Victorian Star Wars prints. First Mate (Chewbacca), Copilot (R2D2), Metal Man (C3PO), Headhunter (Boba Fett), and Kingpin (Jabba the Hutt) are part of a very limited edition of giclee portraits. Each measures 9" x 13" and comes hand-numbered and framed on canvas. A Certificate of Authenticity is included.

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Star Wars Super Graphic: A Visual Guide

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Yoda in a Venn diagram. Nicely done, Star Wars Super Graphic. I'll bet the left slice is those who "Do" and the right those who "Do Not," with the Yoda center representing the young Jedis who tell their master, "Alright...

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True Mirror - How Others See You

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The True Mirror idea is simple (and old; it was first patented in 1887): place two mirrors at right angles and have a look-see. Its effect, though, elicits the complexities of realization spanning everything from Whoa!...

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

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A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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Star Wars Chewbacca Beanbag

$169 - $279 from Pottery Barn »

The only thing wrong with this Chewbacca Beanbag, a Wookiee lounger my ass would otherwise love to plop down on, is that it's from Pottery Barn. Just like this Star Wars Bed. So basically the only people who can have...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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Star Wars Adult Onesies

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Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

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LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 2017

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Start saving your credits and wupiupi. LEGO is dropping a new Millennium Falcon model - a 7,500-piece behemoth of a brick freighter - on October 1, 2017. Need a gift for a man? Particularly a man you'd like to make very...

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Mesmerizing Animated GIF Portrait

I don't know how they did this or where you can have one of your own done, but it's pretty darn sweet. Something about it makes me want to stare at it longer than I should. I'm obsessed with its awesomeness. Is it just...

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Chewbacca Journal

$25.69 from Amazon »

The Chewbacca Journal presents, Wookiee Deep Thoughts: Waag ahyeg ha. Wua ga ma uma ahuma ooma. RRRrrruurgh! Arrggg! Translation: The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you are swimming and when you are angry....

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Star Wars Return of the Jedi Wall Clock

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The only thing missing from this Return of the Jedi wall clock is an R2-D2 head that pops out on the hour to go, Bee-boo-boop-coo-koo! Otherwise, it's all there. Electroluminescent lightsabers and LED glow from within:...

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Star Wars Pipes

$55 - $69 from Etsy »

One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a...