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Posted: Wednesday, July 03, 2013
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The Grand Ruler - Life-Size Anubis Sculpture

The Grand Ruler - Life-Size Anubis Sculpture
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  • The Grand Ruler - Life-Size Anubis Sculpture
  • The Grand Ruler - Life-Size Anubis Sculpture
  • The Grand Ruler - Life-Size Anubis Sculpture

One time my friend Esteban bought a boat and named it Anubis and that's about the only exposure I've ever had to the Egyptian jackal-headed god of the underworld. But I guess if I'm lucky when I die he and his six-pack will weigh my soul and embalm me and watch over my tomb. Esteban or Anubis--either will do.

For those who can't wait for their personal end of days to get some Anubis alone time, I recommend praying to Renenet, the Egyptian goddess of wealth and, pursuant to winning her favor, buying yourself one of these life-size Anubis sculptures. Never mind that he was later overthrown by Osiris in Egyptian mythology, just think of the glory of owning a 6-1/2' tall resin-cast half-man in a skirt! You got a Rolex? Boom! I got a giant Anubis. You got a Lambo? Boom! I got a giant Anubis. You got a set of handmade, scale-mail guinea pig armor? Boom! I...wait, you have what?!

The Grand Ruler Anubis is hand-painted and arrives on a museum mount.

Purchase Details: $853.26 from Amazon »
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