16

No Sleep Till Hades Pillow

By: on August 23, 2012

No Sleep Till Hades. On a white, plush, cloud-like pillow whose sole purpose it seems is to dissuade me from lying on it. The very thing seeing it makes me want to do. Is this an act of cruelty or self-preservation? On the part of the pillow, that is? Arrgghh! Too much thinking and figuring out of latent motives! The Girlfriend Pillow would never F with my head in this way. A real girlfriend would, of course, but that's precisely why I stick to pillows. Or why I did stick to pillows until this Hades shit crept in all taunting and come-hither on the one hand, but "No, don't touch me! Get away! Go be productive!" on the other.

Dudes, there may be no sleep till Hades, but insanity it appears, is with me right here, right now.

Pillows measure 19.7" long x 19.7" wide x 3.9" deep. Retailer Greece Is for Lovers also sells a few other bitty bits, such as mugs and tote bags, with the "No Sleep Till Hades" catchphrase.

Check it out

MonPere Travel Pillow

$71 from MonPere »

MonPere says its new travel pillow, which looks like the arms of a Sesame Street character on a mission to give hugs / snap necks, is "weird for a reason." Apparently, the company's years of testing and prototyping the...

Buy Now

Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible (NSFW)

$49.98 from Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...

Check it out

Zerobody Anti-Gravity Bed

The Zerobody is a sensory deprivation float tank that removes the one major P in the A side effect of floating: getting wet. (True, drowning is kind of a pain too, but most of these tanks have only about a foot of water...

Check it out

Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their...

Check it out

The Harambed

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in...

Buy Now

Acid Trip Pillow

$42.53 from Amazon »

The actual name of this product is Moonlight Pillow. Really? Has the moon been eating Skittles? Did it swallow a gay pride parade? Because the moon I look at has certainly never gleamed the entire Roy G Biv rainbow. Except...

Check it out

Solar-Powered Air Conditioned Bed

$388 - $776 from Aries »

The Solar AC Bed wants to make it a Bananarama cool (cool!) cool summer without draining your wallet or sucking excess power from the grid. This modular cot frame surrounds your existing bed and absorbs solar energy throughout...

Check it out

King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

Check it out

Slumber Cloud Cooling Bedding

$49.99 - $210 from Slumber Cloud »

Somewhere between hot and cold there's a comfy, soft, temperate Slumber Cloud. Based on heat-absorbing / heat-releasing technology originally engineered for NASA astronauts, Slumber Cloud bedding includes a complete line...

Check it out

Sleep Suit

If the Ostrich Pillow doesn't provide enough coverage and anonymity for your power naps, how about the patent-pending Sleep Suit? Designed by Architect Forrest Jessee as an experimental medium for testing out Buckminster...

Buy Now

Zero Gravity Recliner

Sold Out from Amazon »

Varier's Gravity balans may not be new, but it remains Zero Gravity Recliner 1.0. The Original. Like Sean Connery as Bond. Like the Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Like Shannen Dougherty in 90210....

Buy Now

Punchable USB-Connected Enter Key Pillow

$14.95 from Amazon »

Need to blow off some stress? Just hit Enter. Hard. This USB-connected Enter Key Pillow redefines what it means to punch a QWERTY key. In the best, best possible way. Hook the oversized, tetromino-style pillow into a...