Doorballs Door Knocker (NSFW)
Knock, knock. Who's there? Tess. Tess who? Tess Tickle! Hangin' right between the legs of the Doorballs door knocker I used to start this joke!
Oh boy, oh boy, it's a tribute to your boys! Made from PVC "as strong as your bathroom plumbing!" Doorballs is a door knocker fit for the man's man, the college kid, and anyone who wants sales people and the Mormons to think twice about knocking on their door. A perfect novelty gift or housewarming gift, Doorballs stands 9" tall x 6" wide, and mounts to any door or wall with an included strip of 3M adhesive mounting tape. You also have the option of making Doorballs a more permanent installation with a notch for nail- / screw-hanging.
Anyone else think the dude supporting the pair of 5:1 scale testicle knockers looks a lot like Andrew Dice Clay? Andrew Dice Clay making an O face - no, wait, a hesitant O face. Like it's frozen in the moment between when a guest cups his balls, which feels pretty good, and when he knows they're going to crack them hard against the door, which is going to feel very bad.
/dragon-door-knocker-34555.jpg?mode=crop "Dragon Door Knocker")
Dragon Door Knocker
An original design forged by blacksmith Claude Nazair of Naz Forge, this dragon door knocker is a formidable piece of iron. The dragon stands between 18" and 20" tall from (somewhat adorable) head to curlicued devil's...
/woodpecker-door-knocker-with-33015.jpg?mode=crop "Woodpecker Door Knocker with Pull Cord")
Woodpecker Door Knocker with Pull Cord
This woodpecker door knocker has made my day. It has a pull cord attached to the spring-mounted birdie, and when you give it a yank, knock, knock, knock. That's adorable. And as someone who's seen an adorable knocker...
/deetool-man-door-draft-stopper-45961.jpg?mode=crop "deeTOOL MAN Door Draft Stopper")
deeTOOL MAN Door Draft Stopper
deeTOOL MAN says installation of their Door Draft Stopper "is a breeze," Hmmm. Given what the cold air barricade is intended to curtail, I might have gone with a different expression. Like, installing the Door Draft Stopper...
/havenshield-door-barricade-40891.jpg?mode=crop "Havenshield Door Barricade")
Havenshield Door Barricade
The Havenshield Door Barricade is a home security device for quickly blocking interior access to intruders. It installs over any standard door in your home (or office or classroom) like a wreath. Not exactly a bearer...
/diy-hidden-door-hinge-system-14914.jpg?mode=crop "DIY Hidden Door Hinge System")
DIY Hidden Door Hinge System
Ooh, a hidden door to a boudoir of lingerie and sex toys? Maybe pretending to be interested in books wasn't the worst, most boring mistake I ever made to get a girl to like me after all. Yeah, babe, I do see your first...
/haven-connect-floor-mounted-43739.jpg?mode=crop "HAVEN Connect Floor-Mounted Smart Door Lock")
HAVEN Connect Floor-Mounted Smart Door Lock
A deadbolt alternative for your doors, the HAVEN Connect smart lock mounts to the floor just inside the threshold to provide a doorstop-style fortification at the door's strongest point - its base. According to HAVEN...
/fativan-fold-up-door-chock-28805.jpg "FatIvan Fold Up Door Chock")
FatIvan Fold Up Door Chock
I don't know if I'd be writing about the FatIvan Fold Up Door Chock if it wasn't called FatIvan, but once the magnetic door holder's brilliant name got my attention, I wasn't sorry I stopped to have a further look. An...
/645.jpg?mode=crop "Maze Door Chain Lock")
Maze Door Chain Lock
Equally adept at keeping your more retarded friends locked in as getting them all killed in a fire, the Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock is a pretty cool concept. Wouldn't this be better for impeding entry to keep all...
/3d-door-wraps-22732.jpg "3D Door Wraps")
3D Door Wraps
What's behind Door #3? Who cares? I'm more interested in the gateway to Renaissance Italy that's in front of it. You can keep your endless cascade of entryways over rickety wood floors though, Windowpix. That American...
/door-bull-door-barricade-34973.jpg?mode=crop "Door Bull Door Barricade Security Device")
Door Bull Door Barricade Security Device
The Door Bull adds an additional layer of security to your home, reinforcing locked doors at their frame, and creating a barricade much stronger than your lock and bolt alone. Installed on either side of an inward-opening...
/the-kitty-pass-interior-cat-21497.jpg "The Kitty Pass Interior Cat Door")
The Kitty Pass Interior Cat Door
"The Kitty Pass" sounds a little odd, but I guess they couldn't really call it "The Kitty Hole" without experiencing some PR backlash, now could they?...
Door Jammer Portable Security Device
I've always liked the simplicity and practicality of that Add-a-Lock portable door lock, but this Door Jammer device looks even easier to use. Just wedge it under any inward opening door and give it a kick. It also appears...