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The Horizontal Shower

By: on August 13, 2017

In paradise, you take a Horizontal Shower. You lie on a smooth, warm slab of tile as 6 falls of water cascade like mermaid kisses onto your tired and thirsty skin. You choose their intensity and temperature, their pattern and the light they reflect. You contemplate. You flip over. You doze.

In the real world, you stand in a pen behind an encroaching Slothzilla shower curtain, sudsing up with a cracked hunk of bar soap as your caked-over shower head sprays water all catawampus, and your girlfriend / wife / mama yells at you from the door to please not use up all the hot water. Again. Dammit.

Oh sweet Baby Jesus, please take me to Dornbracht's Horizontal Shower World.

Getting hot, wet, and horizontal solo never sounded so good before I saw the Horizontal Shower. The installation features 6 rectangular water bars pouring out of and down onto a tiled slab. Both slabs mount to a bathroom or spa wall, and extend outward 3 or so feet. It almost looks like a contemporary fountain you'd see in a high-end hotel, except with the Horizontal Shower you're supposed to get naked and climb in.

Users control the Horizontal Shower's water bar via an eTOOL control panel embedded in the wall alongside it. A press of one of the glowing buttons will change flow rate, temperature, and waterfall choreography, with specific pattern settings for Balancing, Energizing, and De-Stressing sequences.

Muchas danke to Manny for the Dude Product Tip.

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