Heavy Doody cannot hide the fact that I washed down 3 bowls of Honey Badger BBQ chili with one of those German hefeweizens that tastes like bananas, or that I've been in the bathroom for 18 minutes, or the sounds I am making from behind the bathroom door, but...but! Heavy Doody can eliminate all unpleasant...OK asphyxiating...odors those actions have incurred.
Released by the makers of Poo-Pourri Bathroom Spray, possibly in response to men who do not want to display a flowery feminine bottle that could maybe be mistaken for a lady part cleaner on the back of their toilets, Heavy Doody works preemptively. Spray its mixture of natural oils, such as neroli, sandlewood, and sea salt, into the bowl prior to deuce deployment, and it will create a barrier that contains sick smells fighting to break through from below once the deed is done. I'm thinking it's kind of like the skin that forms over my pudding, or the layer of fat that congeals when my beef stew cools in the fridge.
Heavy Doody bottles hold 4 ounces of poo-neutralizing liquid, good for up to 200 uses. Or 5 if you're a regular patron of Taco Bell.
Want your excrement to look as superb as it smells? Pop a couple of these pills to stop shitting poo and start shitting gold.