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Dude Wipes

By: on July 18, 2012
$8.49
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Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind of rectal projectile experience whose remediation cannot be achieved with standard 2-plys. Not with that snuggly bear cub Charmin shit, and definitely not with the translucent blends of corn husks and sandpaper installed in public restrooms and most places of employment. For full-on coffee-and-bran-muffin-with-a-side-of-prunes attacks, real dudes need more than a weak sauce streamer of TP. Real dudes need 44 square inches of woven proprietary textile as impenetrable as it is infused with soothing Vitamin E and baby-Jesus-butt-soft aloe. Real dudes need Dude Wipes.

Dude Products created and recently released their compact, single-serving cleaner-uppers for men who--well, let's just say it how it is--have taken an enormous dump, and desire or require a level of sanitation and freshness beyond that of which dry, fibrous, easily-punctured cotton toilet paper is capable. Or for men who have just run/biked/engaged in a competitive sport/tore it up on the dance floor/unsuccessfully tried to put together an IKEA bookshelf for a long period of time, and, in the absence of a shower, want a way to de-stench and de-slime before having a few celebratory beers. Dude Wipes gently slaughter odors and remove dirt (or other substances of similar colors) and replace them with a crisp, masculine scent and spankin' (or spank-worthy) surface area.

Dispose of Dude Wipes just like your goldfish and feel good that, also just like your goldfish, they are 95% renewable and biodegradable. For more information, and to check out some sweet shots of Dude Wipes in action and strategically peeking out of ladies' bikinis, head over to Dude Products' Oh, the Places Dude Wipes Go! page.

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