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Hendrick's Steampunk Cocktail Garnish Slicer

By: on June 28, 2017
$199.99
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Your most practical purchase of the year: Hendrick's Gin's steampunk-y Petite Garnisher, a complex contraption that relieves you of the tedious, unending task of...slicing cucumbers. And! .... Making sure they are all the precise 1/8" wheels required of the perfect cucumber garnish. And! .... Sending you back in time and to an alternate reality to apprentice in the lab of Doktor Cuthbert Maycock, the world's maddest mixologist.

Well, I mean, for what Hendrick's is charging for this glorified mandoline slicer, it should take you to Steampunk Land.

The garnisher is handmade, and, I'll admit, looks reeeeeal nice. Sturdy, manly, and industrial, but still classy. It would certainly be a unique centerpiece on a home bar. Better, probably, than my Sasquatch Cocktail Shaker. Right up there with the Ship in a Bottle Decanter.

Oh, this vegetable guillotine can also slice two cucumbers at once, so I guess the extra $150 over the $49.99 I'd think it would cost is worth it.

The Hendrick's Petite Garnisher, aka Steampunk cucumber slicer, was available for pre-order at printing, with shipments expected starting in August 2017.

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Herb & Lou's Cocktail-Infused Ice Cubes

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Come on, Cousin Larry, don't be re-dikoolous, this is a niiiice jacket. I would wear it to my wedding. And I'd definitely wear it to your wedding. Machete 'N' Sons' Brocade Dinner & Smoking Jackets are part of their Decadence...

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Discontinued

Does depressing the S-76 Ampratite Plasma Pistol's spring steel trigger really release unstable and highly reactive Zephane gas for co-mingling with exposed Ampratite crystals, the consequences of which generate an intense...

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Levitating CUP Zero Gravity Drinkware

$139 - $249 from Levitating CUP »

We've seen levitation around here before. A lot. In speakers. In lamps. In freakin' bonsai trees. But the Levitating CUP still makes me Ooooh and Ahhhh because, well, it contains alcohol. In a dazzling an

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Alchemix Liquor Infuser & Carbonator

$79 from Alchemix »

Alchemix hopes to shake up the shaker scene amongst mixologists and enthusiastic cocktail imbib-ologists alike with their Kickstarter campaign for a drank maker that infuses and/or carbonates your liquor and mixers in...

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Nixie Chessboard

$660.52 from Etsy »

Now here's a new spin on smart lighting. Lasermad says their stellar Nixie Chessboard is the first and only Nixie tube-powered chessboard in the whole world, and I believe it. Who has the creativity to even come up with...

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Icicle dry ice drink stirrers turn swizzle sticks into staffs of billowing smoke to accent your Old Fashioneds and add visual drama to your glasses of Champagne (which will complement the physical drama you'll feel the...

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Gas-powered mechanical wizard John Paul Rishea of Bionic Concepts follows up his Exo-Gauntlet Exoskeleton with this set of searing blue LED wings waiting to be scooped up by the first fancier of flight with $830. The...

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Putsch Racing calls their Steampunk attack bike the Aristo-cad. I think that's a great name. Very cool. Very fitting. And even if I thought otherwise I'd keep my fat mouth shut because this motorcycle also happens to...

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Nixie Tube Watch

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Menagerie of Mechanized Happiness Pipe

Norman Osborn and Beaker from The Muppets are going to have a conniption when they get a load of this Frankencreation of welded steel and glass. The Menagerie of Mechanized Happiness Machine--ahhh, its name alone evokes...