Your most practical purchase of the year: Hendrick's Gin's steampunk-y Petite Garnisher, a complex contraption that relieves you of the tedious, unending task of...slicing cucumbers. And! .... Making sure they are all the precise 1/8" wheels required of the perfect cucumber garnish. And! .... Sending you back in time and to an alternate reality to apprentice in the lab of Doktor Cuthbert Maycock, the world's maddest mixologist.
Well, I mean, for what Hendrick's is charging for this glorified mandoline slicer, it should take you to Steampunk Land.
The garnisher is handmade, and, I'll admit, looks reeeeeal nice. Sturdy, manly, and industrial, but still classy. It would certainly be a unique centerpiece on a home bar. Better, probably, than my Sasquatch Cocktail Shaker. Right up there with the Ship in a Bottle Decanter.
Oh, this vegetable guillotine can also slice two cucumbers at once, so I guess the extra $150 over the $49.99 I'd think it would cost is worth it.
The Hendrick's Petite Garnisher, aka Steampunk cucumber slicer, was available for pre-order at printing, with shipments expected starting in August 2017.