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Don't F*ck Up the Table Coasters

By: on October 19, 2016
$24.99
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No reason to mince words when it comes to protecting the 300-pound cherry wood table you just bought off Craigslist. Don't fuck up the table, Cornelius! It's a fine piece of furniture that deserves better than a surface full of rings and discoloration from your sweaty Orange Fantas and Midori Sours!

Also, if She-Ra: Princess of Power gets home and sees your glass sitting there without a coaster she'll bitch me out the rest of the night, and then refuse to make me a treat of pumpkin spice jack-o-lantern cupcakes with candy corn facial features for Halloween.

The Don't Fuck Up the Table Coasters are crafted as fine as the message they communicate--hand carved from baltic birch wood, and hand stained and laser etched. Each measures 4" x 4" and is 1/4" thick. Coasters come in sets of 4.

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NFL Football Teams' Greatest Plays Slate Coasters

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We've seen levitation around here before. A lot. In speakers. In lamps. In freakin' bonsai trees. But the Levitating CUP still makes me Ooooh and Ahhhh because, well, it contains alcohol. In a dazzling an

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