Don't F*ck Up the Table Coasters
No reason to mince words when it comes to protecting the 300-pound cherry wood table you just bought off Craigslist. Don't fuck up the table, Cornelius! It's a fine piece of furniture that deserves better than a surface full of rings and discoloration from your sweaty Orange Fantas and Midori Sours!
Also, if She-Ra: Princess of Power gets home and sees your glass sitting there without a coaster she'll bitch me out the rest of the night, and then refuse to make me a treat of pumpkin spice jack-o-lantern cupcakes with candy corn facial features for Halloween.
The Don't Fuck Up the Table Coasters are crafted as fine as the message they communicate--hand carved from baltic birch wood, and hand stained and laser etched. Each measures 4" x 4" and is 1/4" thick. Coasters come in sets of 4.