300

Shock & Awe Zombie Killer Knife

By: on April 23, 2013
$15.29
Check It Out

If you missed out on the Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe, console...and arm...and shock & awe yourself with this sick little zombie killing knife. Combining the functionality of a kitchen cleaver and the intimidating aesthetics of an Inuit ulu knife, the tool does more than just look pretty on your shelf and in your fantasies of shedding the blood of the undead. It is also suitable for heavy-duty tasks, such as skinning, gutting, and shedding the blood of tonight's dinner. Mmm, freshly caught golden doodle. Or turkey. My dad went for a walk yesterday in a suburban midwestern town and saw a turkey on the loose. If he'd had the Shock & Awe Zombie Killer Knife he could have contributed a portion of the effort that went into last night's meal for the first time in his entire life.

Buy Now

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit

$282.39 from Amazon »

Are you prepared to fight for the survival and integrity of family, friends, and the human race in apocalyptic combat with the ambulatory dead? In other words, do you want to buy a 7-piece set of gut-ripping knives and...

Check it out

Zombie Apocalypse Bedding

$130 - $160 from It's Alive! Designs »

Think about those nights you bolt upright in bed, heart racing, salty with cold sweat, awakened from a nightmare just before you meet your final doom. Now think about the rush of relief you feel as you take in the solitude...

Buy Now

Jagdkommando Knife

Sold Out from Amazon »

If you're looking to stab someone in the back, knife them in the heart, or just royally screw them over, Microtech's MCT1057 Jagdkommando fixed blade knife is the definitive way to do it. A version of the manufacturer's...

Check it out

Zombie Hammer Survival Tools

$79.95 - $139.95 from Zombie Hammer »

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel!...

Check it out

Flayed Flesh Garters

Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

Check it out

Zombie Head Bowling Balls

Zombies really have taken over the world, huh? Or at least the free market economy. The clever German capitalists who designed this introduction of the omnipresent living dead to the bowling alley made a good move though....

Buy Now

Off-Grid Knives Stout Drop Point Blade

$37.95 from Amazon »

I don't think Off-Grid Knives named their Stout Drop Point Blade after the beer. The "Fat Boy" blade is 2.25" x 1.3" wide and weighs an Eric Cartman (i.e., beefy) 5.29 ounces. Off-Grid says their little chub is "built...

Buy Now

Schrade SCHA5B M.A.G.I.C. Folding Knife

$26.97 from Amazon »

The Schrade SCHA5B M.A.G.I.C. folding knife listing neglects to explain its M.A.G.I.C. acronym, so at first I thought maybe it didn't stand for anything, that the caps and dots are just there for their imposing, visual...

Check it out

Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie

$37 from Etsy »

This is what we call an imperfect synergy. In the battle of the two tackiest, yet most often seen yard decorations (no offense fake plastic deer), it looks as if the gnomes have won. And it was bloody. Zombie gnomes 1...

Buy Now

Knork Matte Black Titanium Flatware

$30.99 from Amazon »

Modern, industrial, functional, and Black. Knork's set of matte black flatware brings the company's combo cutlery concept to the Dark Side....

Check it out

Belt Buckle Knife

$65 - $95 from Bowen Knife Company »

Well I just hope the sheaths in Bowen's blade-wielding belts are secure and hefty enough to preclude any potential slippage or puncturing in the vicinity of the most important part of my body. The last thing I need from...

Check it out

Throwing Card Knives

Discontinued

Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch....