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Cat Battle Armor

By: on January 16, 2014
  • Cat Battle Armor
  • Cat Battle Armor
  • Cat Battle Armor
  • Cat Battle Armor
$500 - $520
from
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Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training for months, and despite the obvious size advantage and unblinking eyes of a sociopath Mr. Whiskers here has, his front paw grip and equestrian abilities are still questionable at best. Plus, it's going to be metal weapon, impenetrable metal armor for genus cavia versus metal weapon, pliable leather armor for our feline knight.

Something tells me there's about to be one less cat in the world.

On the upshot, crazy cat people who buy a set of cat battle armor just to dress their pet up for Halloween or the Renaissance Fair or the giant cat tree spanning their front bay window can rest assured this fully articulated suit is soft and comfortable to wear. Sure, the little lion might claw your face and bite a hole in your arm as you affix the armor's two nickel buckles at his collar and secure its grommeted, corset-style lacing at his belly, but once he's nestled snug and safe inside...and notices the significant increase in female tail he's getting on his nightly roams...he'll beg never to go armorless again. Likely by clawing your face and biting a hole in your arm.

Leatherworker Schnabuble hand-fashions each set of cat armor from veg-tan leather. The suit allows for full movement, and also serves as a harness for people clever enough to train their cats to walk on a leash. Its torso section features riveted plates and dorsal spines, and hindquarters a series of overlapped scales stitched to leather backing and accented with nickel dome rivets.

Cat armor is made to order and will adjust to fit most non-obese cats.

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AdrenaSuit - Bulletproof & Superpowered

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When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...