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Wind-Up Racing Grannies

By: on January 02, 2012
$13.04
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Two feet, four wheels, and looks of constipated determination--these grannies can definitely go. But you'll have to try them for yourself to figure out if they can go in a straight line, avoid taking out pedestrians, and finish the race without breaking a hip. A must-have desk toy, over-the-hill birthday gift, or jury duty diversion. Especially if you actually get picked for trial and start to go out of your gourd during all of those mind-numbing testimonies.

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Naughty People Outlet Stickers

$8.10 from Amazon »

These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...

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Emperor 1510 Workstation

$5,950 from MWE Lab »

The pinnacle of functionality and comfort and it looks like a scorpion? At nearly $6,000, the Emperor 1510 workstation may require a CEO-sized wallet for purchase, but given that owning one may actually make me want...

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Big Wheel Drift Trike

If I had known when I was 7 that I could grow up to be a manufacturer of custom motorized drift trikes maybe I would have let go of all that astronaut BS before wasting the next 12 years figuring out that I'm not smart...

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Swim Desk

$1,999.99 from ThinkGeek »

While great for your joints I'm not so sure how good the Swim Desk is going to be for your computer and mobile phone. Definitely recommend keeping a vat of rice on hand while work-stroking at it. And also maybe an EMT...

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Muista Fidget Chair

$180 - $340 from Muista Chair »

Muista isn't a desk chair just for fidgeters, but the antsy and unfocused will probably be the first to appreciate its backless, rocking design, bouncy, bouncy rungs, and curved, saddle-esque seat. Deemed an "evolved...

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Tungsten Sphere

$249 from Amazon »

I'd call the Tungsten Sphere a desktop toy, but given its high density--at just about 2" in diameter the sphere weighs over 3 pounds--I'm not sure how much fiddling or stress-relieving palm rolls you'll be able to do...

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A is for Anus: The Alphabet (For Adults)

$9.99 from Amazon »

This alphabet isn't adult just because A is for Anus, but also because of the accompanying anatomical representation author Max Willy has selected to make sure everyone knows what an anus is. Stick out your pointer finger...

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Hamster Wheel Standing Desk

FREE from Instructables »

Get in your wheels and start churning out the fiscal year-end spreadsheets, hamsters! And when you're done don't forget to thank me for the bulged disks and sciatica I'm preventing by allowing you to stand up and walk...

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Euler's Disk of Infinite Spin & Sound

$29.99 from Amazon »

I'm not saying the Euler's Disk isn't fascinating and rad and a commendable utilization of the laws of physics, but watching and listening to it creates a great deal of anxiety in my heart. It's like the foreboding music...

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The Avengers Desk

Totally awesome Avengers movie-themed hand crafted one of a kind piece of furniture art. Fully equipped with a set of "trick arrows" under glass to represent Hawkeye, and a "gamma chamber" with a heavy-duty door for...

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Boeing Jet Powered Go Kart

$10,500 from Craigslist »

Wasn't a DIY jet-powered something the co-star of a Darwin Award several years ago? I guess if you want to take the lead in a sequel, Seth Kettleman from TransTurbine in Maryland has the vehicle for you. The Boeing Boss...

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HOVR Seated Walker

$89 - $189 from HOVR »

If you're sitting there reading about this HOVR contraption right now, know what you're doing? Restricting blood circulation. Contributing to the obesity epidemic. Sucking your productivity and concentration dry. Basically...