The NoPhone Air
The NoPhone Air is this season's premier smartphone for anyone perpetually glued to their screen. You know, people who only look up 2 or 3 times a day, and then always seem surprised to see that humans and animals exist as something other than GIFs on Reddit. People whose calls, texts, and notifications are always more important than the friends and family they're sharing dinner with, and the cars they're sharing the road with. People who need to put down their damn iPhone, and pick up no phone at all.
Or, preferably for the people who are making money selling empty plastic bags, a NoPhone Air.
The NoPhone Air is an invisible phone (i.e., empty plastic bag) and gag gift for people who can't quit, even for a minute, their real one. It features: no touchscreen; no headphone jack; no 12MP camera; and no battery. Its creators have crowned it "The least advanced NoPhone ever."
The NoPhone Air is a top Dude gift for a teen pick. Especially a teen you want to piss off.