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Testicuzzi - Jacuzzi for the Nuts

Posted: August 11, 2019
$39.95 - $10k
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Sadly - or maybe thankfully? - there are no photos of the Testicuzzi in action. At least not any this jacuzzi for the nuts' makers have published publicly. But one look at the empty hot tub - its contoured rim, its dual, sack-sized interior basins, its ultra-soft pre-cast silicone penis perch! - and I think you can fill in the rest of the visuals yourself.

According to the Testicuzzi website, this nutty idea for a hot tub came about during a conversation between friends about dating, drinking, and random trends. The idea then grew, long and hard, until the friends decided to pursue it, creating a 3D model, and then 3D printing their first Testicuzzi prototype. At this printing, they were taking pre-orders for the nut tubs, with estimated delivery dates around December 10, 2019.

Yep, that's just in time for the holidays, if you're looking for "the perfect gift for the man that genuinely cares about his testicles' hap-penis."

Or if you know your own balls are going to need a hot teabag soak after all the Thanksgiving-Hanukkah-Christmas-New Year's chaos of: regularly stuffing your face so full you break out in a sack sweat; getting drunk and promiscuous at a few too many holiday parties; and accepting your friend Cornelius' dare to walk down the street with a lit sparkler between your legs.

The Testicuzzi further soothes spent snow globes with relaxing air bubbles, emitted courtesy of a battery-powered base. It is available in white, black, and a special edition 14K gold-plated model.

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