100

The iFlask

By: on October 24, 2012
$24.95
Check It Out

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the iFlask. A polyethylene and polycarbonate liquor cradle disguised as a piece of Steve Jobs technological genius, the iFlask was born out of necessity. Necessity to eliminate the costs and occasional parental outrage associated with open container tickets. Necessity to eliminate the tedium of long lines. Necessity to flip the bird at the capitalistic drive to overcharge for booze at sporting events and concerts. Necessity felt poignantly by iFlask creators Dan Novaes and Ethan Hou.

iFlasks hold up to 5 ounces, or 5 shots, of alcohol within their smooth, sturdy, nontoxic walls. A sliding bar on top opens and closes the container, and maintains the liquid seal when the pseudo-phones are stored in back pockets, purses, and, during particularly covert missions, against ears. On the back of the flask, instead of a battery that drains and dies every 4 to 6 hours, the guys have installed a stainless steel bottle opener to facilitate the enjoyment of chasers and mixed drinks.

iFlasks seem to target the (21+, of course) college crowd, which tends to be the most universally busted, broke, stressed, and desperate of all demographics, and therefore most obviously in need of an inconspicuous purveyor of drunkenness. However, I could probably make good use of one too, and I never even went to college. (No, not because I'm idiot. Because I was born brilliant. Like Doogie Howser times ten. And Chuck Norris if science were able to convert pounds bench pressed into IQ points.)

In addition to games and concerts, the iFlask makes for a good companion at:

  • Festivals
  • Raves
  • House parties that require a surefire conversation starter
  • Dry weddings (i.e., those held by Mormons and cheap fathers of the bride)
  • ER waiting areas

Check it out

Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

Buy Now

Freedom Flask Liquor Bladder

$24.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. 'Tis the season. To be sneaky. The Freedom Flask, in the same spirit of duplicity and cunning as the Nano Hummingbird Spy Camera and the iStash, aids users in their quests to do things they aren't supposed...

Buy Now

Fake Tampon Flasks

$19.98 from Amazon »

Mmmm, boy. Who wants an illicit Bloody Mary? I don't care how thirsty I might be at a dry college football game, show, or church service, I don't think I could take a swig of anything out of a tampon. Even a fake tampon...

Check it out

Han Solo DL-44 Blaster Flask Prototype

Han shot first. Then Luke threw back 16. Soon you'll be able to do the same. Maybe. if Industries has developed this prototype for a DL-44 Blaster Flask, which might turn into a full-on BlasTech Industries-scale production...

Buy Now

Smuggle Your Booze Sunscreen Flask

$9.15 from Amazon »

Summer music festivals, baseball games, and days in the park with the kids are about to get a whole lot jollier. Instead of SPF 30, this innocuous bottle of responsible adult sunscreen contains room for 8 fl. oz. of ABV...

Check it out

Kraken Flasks

$85 - $450 from Etsy »

Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch...

Buy Now

Stanley Classic Flask

$16 - $39.98 from Amazon »

If Paul Bunyan and Don Draper were sharing some hooch around the campfire, I bet the Stanley Classic Flask in Hammertone Crimson is what they'd use to tip it back. And so would I....

Buy Now

Bracelet Flask

$25.25 from Amazon »

Fancy fashion designer Cynthia Rowley made a Flask Bracelet that sold for around $225. You can see it on the lady's wrist in image gallery above. But Braced has made a Bracelet Bangle Flask that's waaaay better than Rowley's...

Buy Now

1 Gallon Stainless Steel Flask

$20.47 from Amazon »

I was doing some soul searching for ways in which I might class up my life, and not 5 minutes in, as if poised to instantly answer my prayers, I locked eyes with this gallon-sized flask. Isn't it beautiful? Brushed finish....

Buy Now

Portable Travel Bars

$64.95 - $89.95 from Amazon »

It's not quite as nice as opening a briefcase filled with unmarked hundos, but unlocking one of these portable travel bars will still give you pretty good returns. A great gift for men, groomsmen, or the stripper who's...

Buy Now

VSSL Flask Light

$72.50 from Amazon »

VSSL and its utility tube babies welcome a new bundle of joy to the family. One that will not only hold your booze, but also light your way out of the dive you take into the bushes behind the IHOP after gulping down too...

Buy Now

Swig & Puff Flask

Sold Out from Amazon »

A swig here, a puff there, a puff here, a Chug! Chug! Chug! there. And none of those big globe or skull ice cubes to get in your way of downing the whiskey when it's flowing freely from this 2-in-1 flask and cigar holder...