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Pirate Vs. Ninja Sword Corn Skewers

By: on May 07, 2014
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I guess they couldn't decide whether people would prefer to skewer their corn with pirate or ninja swords, so they just made a set incorporating both. Alien vs. Predator-style. Pirate vs. Ninja--who would win that battle? In life...bah!...it's too philosophical and complex of a question to wrap my head around right now. But I do know exactly who would win the Pirate vs. Ninja corn cob skewer battle: whomever's sword was on my corn cobs. I can eat corn like a drunk fat man with an inner ear infection on a skateboard can eat pavement. People talk about finding corn in their poo. At the height of cob season I'm lucky if I can find any poo in my corn.

Corn cob holders in swords pirate and ninja have plastic handles and stainless steel pins to protect hands from the greasy butter, sticky salt, and spurting kernels of the corn on the cob consumption process. They come in sets of 4, with 2 pairs of each sword representing their corresponding swashbuckling or assassinating wielder.

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CasusGrill - Biodegradable Instant BBQ

$8 from The Fowndry »

Biodegradable and 100% natural, the CasusGrill leaves no trace when you dispose of it. Which is more than I can say for the oysters my friend Cornelius grilled at his anti-Taco-Tuesday BBQ last night. I disposed of at...

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Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper

$7.99 from Amazon »

This Cob Corn Stripper (not to be confused with a lady in a cornfield on a Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole) better work damn good, and without making a mess, because despite my rant last week about breaking up ground beef...

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Mini Titanium Katana with Tritium Insert

$149 from Metal Worn »

Just as the Bride conquered O-Ren Ishii with a Hattori Hanzo katana, Metal Worn has conquered the ultimate gift for a geek with their Ti-Katana, a miniature titanium katana sword whose tsuka contains a tritium vial insert....

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Kitchen Ninja Knife Block

$112.72 from Amazon »

A Kitchen Ninja Knife Block for all the Kitchen Klutzes like me! Skilled, stealthy, and precise with my blade hovering above an onion I am not, but my inner covert agent of feudal Japan would still like to see this knife...

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Hand Forged Samurai Swords

$125 - $6,990 from Swords of Northshire »

Swords of Northshire works directly with a forge in Longquan to satisfy all of your samurai sword needs. Or, more likely, create your sudden and intense samurai sword needs. Handmade from the ground up, the retailer's...

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Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles

$93.02 from Etsy »

Pick your poison. Actually, pick two: a spirit to fill one of Orion Oddities's sick hand-sculpted bottles with; and a Lovecraftian beast to guard its contents. The Italian design shop molds the likenesses of Cthulhu and...

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Grill Tumbler

$49.99 from Amazon »

Tumble your raw meat and veggies into BBQ gold! Or at least make sure they're fully marinated and evenly cooked with the help of Brookstone's Grill Tumbler. Step 1: Chop your grub and dump it into the enclosed octagon....

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Caltrops Tashibishi Spiked Stoppers

$7.99 from Amazon »

Now this doesn't look like a very nice thing to do to someone. But I guess if s/he cheats, steals your wo/man, gets you fired, or breaks your favorite Star Wars collectible, one method of revenge is to Caltrops Tashibishi...

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Stovetop Korean BBQ Grill Pan

$29.89 from Amazon »

If you haven't had or don't know what Korean BBQ is, click here for a thousand words. And here for a thousand more. Typically, a Korean BBQ is a tabletop-sized gas or charcoal grill that

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Blood Rayne Arm Blade

Sold Out from Amazon »

Although Agent BloodRayne used a similar arm blade to exterminate vampires, this non-digitized replica is made of stainless steel, not silver, so it will be of little assistance in your mission to annihilate Edward Cullen...

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Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction: Ninja Weapons

$12.26 from Amazon »

I guess ninja weapons have always been made out of everyday household items, it's just that the definition of an everyday household item isn't quite the same in contemporary America as it was in feudal Japan. So when...

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Ninja Hand Claw Climbing Tigers Spikes

$11.31 from Amazon »

Perfect for the aspiring ninja or make believe superhero, these will have you scaling trees in your backyard in no time. Made from pure black stainless steel. Just be careful you don't hurt yourself. Being a ninja is...