191

Electric Nut Butter Maker

By: on January 18, 2013
$80.60
Check It Out

To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mama), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include:

  • A peanut butter, banana & bacon sandwich--toasted as pictured, por favor.
  • Peanut butter frosted donuts topped with bananas & bacon (I like the combo not only for its toothsomeness, but also for its extraordinarily high protein, potassium, carbohydrate, sugar, fat, and calorie content.)
  • Peanut butter cup chocolate Rice Krispies treats. With homemade peanut butter cups, of course. And homemade Rice Krispies. I'm sure you can figure it out, Mama. Oh man, my mouth is watering and hands grasping for the Menagerie of Mechanized Happiness Pipe just thinking about them.
  • A peanut butter cream pie. Two if anyone else wants a piece.
  • Peanut butter fudge. Because the only way to improve upon pure nut fat is to add pure cow fat.

As the name suggests, Nostalgia Electrics' Nut Butter Maker churns any old nut, though some require the addition of oil and, in the cases of soy nuts and sunflower seeds, a certain amount of lunacy. Why defile the Maker's blades and 150 watts of power with that hippe crapola that tastes like the droppings from freshly milled 2 x 4s? Why? I do, however, approve of almonds, cashews, pistachios, and macadamias. Maybe hazelnuts if they promise not to give me 7 days of hives and constipation like that one time.

Buy Now

Bug-A-Salt Exterminating Shotgun

$41.50 from Amazon »

The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its...

Check it out

Rebel Microlight Fidget Spinner

$70 - $130 from ZeroHour »

Know, and probably love, Zero Hour's new Rebel Microlight Fidget Spinner in 30 seconds or less with one click. This one. The short demo video gives you the full tour of the visual splendor that comes with merging a pair...

Check it out

Romance Pants

Team Instructables, evil geniuses o' Romance Pants, I bow down to your ingenuity and hilarity. The legit player's ultimate accessory, Romance Pants dim a room's lighting and raise its stereo volume when their zip fly...

Buy Now

Paper Shooter Kits

$22.95 from Amazon »

The Paper Shooter snipers at Bang Creations know that when it comes to pastimes, nothing beats blasting things up to 75 feet. Particularly when the outcome of doing so averts death, injury, and getting yelled at by your...

Buy Now

Slotdog Hot Dog Scorer

$17.88 from Amazon »

The Slotdog is Straight. Outta. Compton. Canada. At first glance, this hot dog scorer might seem as unnecessary as the infamous Banana Slicer, and only slightly less ridiculous than the Rollie Egg Dog Maker. It might...

Check it out

Hop the Following Suitcase

From unwieldy trunk, to streamlined handled bag, to Eureka! luggage on wheels, to Hop. The suitcase that follows its user. Or rather, follows its user's cellphone signal. Hop contains three receivers able to intake, identify...

Check it out

Peanut Butter Cup Cake

Discontinued

A gargantuan mail-order Peanut Butter Cup Cake, stacked with double layers of rich chocolate devil's food hugging real peanut butter filling, and then drowned in a dark chocolate shell, is the reason acronyms like OMFG...

Buy Now

Pelamatic Fruit & Vegetable Peeler

$149.99 from Amazon »

The orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'til aaaallll the ughbittergrossblechblechblech white stuff...

Check it out

The Slinky Machine

If you've been toying with the idea of making an escalator for your Slinky, then you are almost as quirky and random as Matthias Wandel. Almost because Wandel went ahead and did it. The Slinky Machine is based on the...

Check it out

Peanut Butter & Jam Old Fashioned

$56.59 from Firebox.com »

PB&J has grown up. Now it's the perfect companion for the dude who just wants to relax with a sophisticated adult beverage...but doesn't want to stray too far from his favorite squishy, sticky, nummy childhood sammich....

Check it out

Black Peanut Butter

$5 from Frolic »

While I don't really know what's up with the price of Frolic's black peanut butter being quoted in Indonesian rupiah*, I do know what's up with its blackness. And it's not squid ink, medicinal charcoal, or blood infected...

Check it out

Skittles Sorting Machine

Electrical engineer Brian Egenriether designed a machine to sort Skittles so that I can have all the red ones, and no one ever has to eat the disgusting green ones again. While Skittles umbrella corporation, Mars, Inc....