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Posted: Saturday, June 29, 2013
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Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller
ADDITIONAL IMAGES
  • Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller
  • Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller
  • Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller
  • Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller

The Corkcicle for girly white and pink wine now has a version for manly yellow and brown beer. After 45 minutes in the freezer, Chillsners insert into and latch onto bottles of brew to maintain optimal ice coldness from swig one to swig final (in my case, swig 3. Just one more thing the Tootsie Roll Pop owl and I have in common.)

Now there are some beers out there, predominantly those savored by the peoples of the Pacific Northwest, that taste like a skunk's anus no matter what their temperature is, but there are others, such as Heineken, that acquire this flavor only as their chill wanes. For the second group of suds, Chillsner can save its partakers from having to choose between guzzling their beers as fast as possible, or sipping slowly on the essence of rodent assholes. Once inserted, Chillsner's 4 flow vents enable a smooth, normal stream of beer from the bottle's mouth, while its rubber stopper creates an airtight seal to prevent side leakage.

Chllsners are sold by the pair because only losers feeling sorry for themselves even though there are starving children in Africa drink alone.

Purchase Details: $19.99 from Amazon »