Food

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Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

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Edible Spray Paint

Edible spray paint. The answer to the prayers of all those hoodlums and gang members with dreams of pastry chef stardom. And check out the demo photos. This year, Martha Stewart, your mother-in-law, and their brined...

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Bad Jew BBQ Sauce

$5.98 from Bad Jew BBQ »

If there's one thing that Jews know, it's not barbecue sauce. Nonetheless, we've been given their best effort. Hey, at least it's kosher right? No word on whether or not the sauce bottle "tips" well for easy pouring....

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Delicious Bacon Candy

$5.20 from Amazon »

Nothing burps like bacon... candy. I think this might not be as good for popping into your mouth one after another as sneak attacking an unsuspecting friend by giving him piece casually and seeing what genuine surprise...

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Schweddy Balls Ice Cream

Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls. The classic SNL skit comes to life in the form of delicious schweddy balls ice cream. Mmmm....

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Blast Caffeine Powder

$12.50 from Blast Caffeine »

This stuff is scary. It takes 125 energy drinks to match the caffeine in 1 Blast caffeine. So, if you're finally ready to get off the couch and go outside, this stuff might help. Or, it might kill you. Either way, it's...

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Effervescent Bacon Drink Tabs

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If you're somehow unable to get enough bacon through the 100s of bacon related food products out there, I've got a solution for you. Bacon flavored drink tabs. Now you can wash down that bacon and bacon sandwich with...

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Blooming Flower Pot Cake

$100 from Williams Sonoma »

The perfect cake for a gardener, florist or person who likes awesome cakes. It actually sounds pretty nom nom too. A velvety-rich five-layer chocolate devil's food cake with chocolate-caramel truffle cream filling and...

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Miracle Berry Fruit Tablets

$14.99 from Amazon »

The future is here. These amazing miracle berries are eaten before meals to make the meals taste better. "How?" you ask. By making sour and bitter foods taste sweet. I have tried these and they do work. Don't believe...

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Banana Flavored Scorpion Vodka

Mmmm... Delicious banana flavored scorpion vodka. I've been dying for some of this stuff. Equally as refreshing after a long run as when you wake up in a shallow dirt grave across the Mexican border. Nothing takes the...

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Stay Puft Caffeinated Gourmet Marshmallows

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This is just what little kids need. Actually, I can see this paired with a big fat slab of marijuana chocolate housed between two graham crackers. Wonderin' why I can't sleep at 2am. Rememberin' why at 4am. So worth it...

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Bacon Flavored Chocolate Bar

$13.95 from Amazon »

The sweet and the salty, all in one meal. I think we're getting past the everything is better with bacon phase in America, but this chocolate bar could slip through the cracks into my everyday diet. Three hundred pounds...

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Biofuel Caffeinated Popcorn

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This just might be the stuff I need to get me through the next movie I have to watch with my girlfriend. I mean, I'm not a little kid, so I don't really eat popcorn, but it could work. Who could stay awake for an entire...

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Chocomize Bars

$6 from Chocomize »

I used to have to sell chocolate bars for little league when I was a kid. $1 per bar. I marked them up to $2 and pocketed a dollar for myself, then usually ate half of my inventory. It seemed to work out pretty well....